Do your WP postings lack Social Reciprocity?

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auntblabby
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02 May 2014, 10:38 pm

^^^
that is VERY interesting/illuminating that you bring up eye contact. like, is there a link between a real-life ability to maintain eye contact, and social reciprocity? :idea:



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02 May 2014, 10:42 pm

I often write much better than I speak. I can speak very well and I can have very good reciprocity in speech but I am not consistent with that. Sometimes my reciprocity in speech is really bad. It depends on how comfortable I am in the situation. If I am perseverating my reciprocity is not good either because I tend to do most of the talking! :D

But for some reason, written communication is easier to keep fluid and consistent.


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02 May 2014, 10:52 pm

Klowglas wrote:
I find back and forth posting a bit too intimate and it starts to feel weird so I eventually stop, probably similar in how eye-contact feels too intimate and weird for me. it's just plain uncomfortable.

I can't do that either.
But I am polite and always reply when someone asks me a question.



daydreamer84
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02 May 2014, 10:57 pm

Interesting question. To some extent, maybe, I don't know. I've had arguments with some people on here, I'm not sure how reciprocal they were.



auntblabby
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02 May 2014, 10:59 pm

who is worth arguing with?



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02 May 2014, 11:04 pm

Rocket123 wrote:
Though, it makes me wonder if, in general, our online communication style matches our real-world communication style. Thoughts?

My online communication style matches my real-world communication style.
I'm not good with getting into engaging conversations, but I like to post on WP when I think I have something to say. It makes me feel like part of a community. I don't have that in real life, but I think I can be accepted here.



Last edited by Marybird on 02 May 2014, 11:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

FireyInspiration
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02 May 2014, 11:04 pm

My posts are usually pretty brief, mostly due to me not fully knowing what to say in a longer post, or don't have many details to post.



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02 May 2014, 11:17 pm

Rocket123 wrote:
During the past year, I have posted > 800 times on WP. During this time, I have noticed that certain members on WP are more effective at “engaging” the community than others (by engage, I mean the back and forth postings that is the online equivalent of conversation).

For me, my postings (particularly, my responses to other's postings) rarely elicit responses from other members. Which is totally fine with me.

Though, it makes me wonder if, in general, our online communication style matches our real-world communication style. Thoughts?


Rocket123, I'd like to thank you for responding to my "goodbye" thread and remembering our exchange of posts over the last year. In the same vein, I wanted to share my thoughts on your OP and the thread.

Yes, I agree with you that certain members on WP are more effective in triggering "back and forth postings". Without getting into a purple/green argument over the net costs/benefits of such an outcome, in some cases these posters are able to produce the response that they desire.

As a general rule, I would make the rebuttable presumption that someone's online and offline communication styles are similar, depending on circumstances. I'd also be happy to disregard that presumption if I saw evidence to the contrary. I've had the opportunity over the years to see many examples of this, and in my experience, most people do not change communication styles on a regular basis, for any number of reasons that are outside the scope of this thread.

For the example(s) that we're discussing in this thread, that of postings here on WP, I think the exact nature of responses differs from other locations. WP draws from a large English-speaking population, but has a great variety of communication styles and cultural assumptions. While I'm nowhere near well versed in the subject to render an opinion, I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of active posters use the same communication styles and (some) of the underlying cultural communication assumptions.

I know there are some topics by some posters that will get a great many back and forth responses. I personally would not be involved in several of those topics or threads.


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03 May 2014, 12:32 am

Some of mine do, and some don't. It depends largely on content and relate-ability. If your post has no substantial content, then it will not generate interest. If your post is not something that the other readers can relate to, then regardless of how incredibly interesting it may be, they simply won't have anything to add. I find that a lot of the most interesting threads on here end up dying fairly quickly because of this - they will be so unique that no one knows how to comment or respond to them.



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03 May 2014, 12:32 am

Yes, I noticed that too. I actually miss the debate, because the idea I have of a thread is like this -> I (or other) posted a question, people share opinions, then the divergent opinions discuss until we reach a conclusion.
but that never happened in the posts, instead people pop little monologues varying in extent of relation to the topic. And many times I don't get any answer back to what I proposed and/or the conversation just stops (people stop answering before reaching a conclusion) and that makes me kind of frustrated.
some of the most common reasons an user quotes another here are for showing mistakes in the argumentation or because the person quoting thinks the other explained better what they wanted to say. Other times it is because they disagree with the opinion or ideology. Rarely it is in debate form, even when disagreeing, that is, they don't intend to reach a conclusion, just state what their own opinion is or shows the flaws.
instead of having conversations it is more like a user is reading other posts as if an article on some topic and later comment what they think of what they read or how it relates to themselves or their experience.
I think what I do the most is sharing my experience and making an analysis of the situation/idea. I am actually doing both right now!

PerfectlyDarkTails wrote:
[size=]I think forums work a little differently as I don't think going back and fourth is to be expected in Forum situations as opposed as real conversation.

I don't have that much to say in threads usually, I sometimes can go into a lot of detail that may go beyond the answered question, others I may not bother as my thoughts on a thread is already covered by some else so I don't quote a post with a simple "this" or "I agree" response.

It often takes a lot of physical and mental strength to post something sometimes. Other times it's like I have a "mute" day on the Internet and feel unable to converse anywhere.
[/size]

as PerfectlyDarkTails posted, I think that is not exclusive of WP. But to be found more commonly in online discussions, also in teenagers conversations (self-centered)
also I disagree people have same conversation styles online as in real life. This varies a lot. It would also depend what you consider conversation style, which no one here defined. One characteristics or other may be there in real life conversation, but in general it is different.



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03 May 2014, 6:38 am

i kind of do it to a small degree. but it has to be a specific subject. i can't do the chitchat thing. and i usually only put about 3 posts max into a thread convo. that's what i like about the interaction ("spam") treads all my forums have. it's a lot easier to get to know each other for me that way.

Klowglas wrote:
I find back and forth posting a bit too intimate and it starts to feel weird so I eventually stop, probably similar in how eye-contact feels too intimate and weird for me. it's just plain uncomfortable.


I love it when someone writes out my exact thoughts so perfectly.



daydreamer84
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03 May 2014, 7:07 am

auntblabby wrote:
who is worth arguing with?


I enjoy debating issues with people in general sometimes.



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03 May 2014, 8:04 am

I rarely create threads, but do respond to others a lot, so am reciprocating to a fair degree. On the other hand my response more often then not does not include a trigger for further conversation. But if the original poster or another responder does generate a question I will again respond.

But there are far too many threads to reply to more then a fraction, and those I choose either by interest, or having a thought to share, or sometimes when I see a person in crisis.

I think not getting responses or feedback is common on most social forums, though do think it is more noticeable here. You have to get used to lack of responses here or you will get frustrated fairly quickly.



naturalplastic
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03 May 2014, 8:13 am

When you get into a back-and-forth conversation with one other individual on a website its usually negative in tone. Its usually a heated debate.

Sometimes its positive but when that happens the other person and I usually end up pm'ing (or even emailing) each other to continue the conversation.



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03 May 2014, 8:26 am

I seldom respond when someone quotes me and comments. When I have posted in a thread I have usually said all I have to say about the topic and don't have anything more to add on the topic. If the response is contradicting what I said, they don't sway me but neither do I have anything more to add to the subject. I've already said what I mean, nothing has changed. Replying just to repeat myself is pointless, so I only respond back if I feel I have something new to add to it, or has come up with something to elaborate on it. I’d be completely useless in a debate! :lol:
If the response is another type of comment, I usually don't know what to say at all. Coming up with something to say is one of my biggest issues.


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03 May 2014, 9:04 am

If I post on a thread here at WP, I might not read every comment. I certainly won't respond to very many, and I also might never get back to reply if someone responds to me. This isn't because I don't care about the community here, but there are a LOT of people on these forums; just trying to keep up with the General Autism Discussion can be difficult for me, and topics can go by so fast. Also, just because I've been diagnosed on the autistic spectrum doesn't mean that I'm going to share common interests with others like me; I'm very social on smaller forums where there's a broad variety of "crazy" (most of it NT) and a lot of similar interests.

8)