Anywhere but here. Anything but this.

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I like that idea cberg... common platform.. widely available used parts... and ambulances have that nice raised roof so you can actually stand in the van if you want to. I have the plumbing and electrical skills to install a compact bathroom, kitchen, a couple solar panels (which I already bought for my current van)... I wonder where old ambulances get sold.... I haven't seen them at any auctions or websites... maybe I can find one on ebay?

You're right about that KraftieKortie. Most of these campgrounds either shut down for the winter or turn off services due to freezing... I would have to rent a place before it gets too cold.. 2-3 months should be enough time to find something... I've worked both desk jobs and hard manual-labor jobs.. I'm willing to do it all so I'll find something.. probably minimal wage at first but enough to rent a room share somewhere.

I think if I dress decently well I may get saved from being viewed or treated as vagrant.. clean clothes.. maybe button down shirts simple work pants.. this could be my ticket out of trouble (pun intended). Before starting this job I worked as a field salesman for a small company in NY, they had me driving to FL back and forth several times to deliver supplies to and from stores and trade shows and help set up.. the company went out of business a few years ago but I kinda enjoyed doing that.. waking up somewhere different every day kept me from feeling depressed.. somehow.. When I was dressed well I NEVER got pulled over or harrassed... even with NY license plates and EVEN sleeping at rest stops and other spots at times... but if I ever wore something that did not look business-like or if I skipped a couple days of shaving then they would harrass me over the smallest things...

You can avoid high-risk behaviors like standing outside in the same spot for too long, staring at any one thing for too long, etc... also if you avoid parking in front of sinlge-family houses it helps to avoid concerned calls and police showing up over nothing... must find places where you can blend in.

Thinking it through... you guys have helped me cover ground that I didn't think about before. thanks guys!

Jacob, with the skills you say you have, have you tried to apprentice to be a plumber or an electrician and make a lot more money? Although the aspie work issues will be there. Actually, I have tried but at this point I am too old and none of them will hire me. In the past, when I was younger, Dad would not hear of me learning a trade because of all the "swearing and drinking" and time at the bar. He let my younger brother be an auto mechanic later on.

I've looked into it.. In NJ, I would have to be someone's "assistant" for several years before being able to qualify for a license and START making decent money... I've done plumbing and electrical jobs for years.. repair and installing runs of copper and pex, toilets, faucets, sinks, and tubs. same with electrical and none of my installations have failed so far.

That's another good reason to move... I think apprenticeships are less time in other states. I'll check around online.

My 2 cents, other than save up more money, is to try and find organizations that will help you find a better place for YOU to live (where you may be happier) and then try to connect with an organization/person who is willing to help you transition (a place to stay until you get a place of your own...but you do pay your share of the rent...and perhaps inroads so that you can work locally from day one and not be a burden on anyone).

At least then you aren't taking blind leaps.

"Go! What's the point of staying if you feel miserable every day?"

OP, when I was a teenager, I ran away from my abusive family to another country (Australia) having only enough money for the berth on the ship that took me there. I arrived there for the first time with sixpence (five cents) in my pocket. And I thrived.

Think how much more you know about life than the young naive girl I was then, going to a foreign country completely alone with no formal education and very damaged by abuse.

Go!! ! Sometimes in life we face a choice: cast our fate to the wind, or stagnate.

I thought i remember that you worked in the NYC diamond district, right???

With those kind of skills could you work for a Jeweler somewhere??

I haven't worked in the diamond district in over 10 years... prob with that is there are only a half dozen gemology labs in this country and they're all either in NYC or LA... most gemologist work available elsewhere is in retail sales.. which involves a lot of talking to people and schmoozing and a lot of sales pitching that i'm really no good at... the pay was pretty awesome and it took me many many years to adjust to my lower pay in maintenance/construction... If I had a better set of socializing skills I could be making a really nice living.. ASD is a real B--- sometimes

no jobs in the back rooms of these Jewelry stores where they make or modify the jewelry...or design pieces???

i dunno... i know nothing about that industry.

sry.

i mean well.

are there any Jewish enclaves like in Florida where maybe they would help one of their own???

i have a good friend who is Jewish and they seem to stick together and help each other with contacts and so on(he's from NJ btw though not there now)

i'm sad to hear how stuck and trapped you feel:(

would any synagogues let you stay there or even in the parking lot until you can find a job somewhere?

are there any social welfare benefits or unemployment you could get until u can find a job??

even some church ppl might help you out....there are a lot of 'do-gooders' out there that really are very kind

There are lots of backrooms, but i'm more of a grader and appraiser and my knowledge is limited to loose diamonds only... don't know much about gems or goldsmith work etc..

i've been invited to temples here and there.. and there's some really good guys there who may give me a free meal and a place to stay for a night or a few even... just like churches would do for christians I assume.. it's nice to know it's there.. but I tend to naturally avoid groups and group mentality in general.

I resist welfare too.. my life sucks pretty bad but so far i've managed without.

I would much rather make it out there on my own... completely on my own if possible... maybe i'm being unrealistic...

I encourage you to be open to possibilities that you have been previously reluctant to consider....brainstorm ...put ideas down on paper....be open minded. Sometimes we need to compromise our standards for a short time to get things to change.

eg. TEMPORARY USE of welfare doesn't mean that you are a failure....use it like a bridge to cross a river

you can ask for help and tell people that you need time alone to think.........then they help you AND leave you alone

leverage your skills and experience as a grader/appraiser into the areas you don't know....tell the jeweler what you CAN do and then ask for on-the-job training to learn what you DON'T know

you already learned loose diamonds....you will be able to learn other gems, right??

NB: I would rather do everything in my life ON MY OWN too but that is NOT realistic(i've learned the hard way) some help from a few people is a necessary evil.

I say these things with kindness and no judgement toward you.

Jacob - If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you have always got.

Don't get too lost in the details at this stage - an ASD tendency. Dream positively of the big picture of opportunity. Remember there are Meet Up Groups all over the place and it is possible to find one that suits us. That provides unknown opportunities (it has for me at the Social Anxiety group I go to).

Think of it not as a huge risk, but as an adventure. You know the saying: who dares wins. Go for it!

Life is not a pass or fail experience, it's all a learning curve. But you learn nothing from standing still in the same place doing the same things.
I have faced the same fears as you are facing now, and know that the journey is worth it.

I thought I would follow up on my original post. It's been 3 weeks.. I got promoted to a new position at the company but wasn't given a real raise... I'm still sick of working/living here and I haven't moved into action yet.

You are absolutely right! getting lost in the details.... I haven't gone to any meetup groups because I don't enjoy group settings... period. my instinct is to distance myself from groups.... hence the whole idea of leaving this big city

I have succeeded in putting some money aside and I am about a month or two away from having enough to leave where I am.


I found a few website that lists land and small homes for sale for cheap. In the $5000 to $10,000 range. found several hundred results.

I am realizing now that it will be harder to find work in these rural areas than I first expected, but as a hard worker I think I will be able to persevere.

Last edited by JacobV on 23 Jul 2014, 7:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

You took a ship to Australia? That must have been long before cell phones and the internet were available.. it must have taken a lot more guts to do it back then.

And as a young girl? Sounds really rough... how did you make out? did you go back after a while or are you still in Australia?

Work in rural areas is tough to find in the best of times.

You might look into working in the gas fields in western PA/West Virginia. That part of the country is my territory and I love it for a lot of reasons...

...but you are going to find some things (like the fact that the culture is every bit as gang-up, false-lawsuit, cliquey foul as that in New Jersey.

Here's my advice: LEAVE. But don't just up and leave cold, with $500 in your pocket.

First look at your expenses, and cut everything you can.

If that doesn't up your savings, get a second job. It doesn't matter what second job. ANY second job. Shovel French fries, scrub toilets, pick up dog poop for rich people. Some job, a job, any job. Save 100% of what you make, other than maybe spending some of it on getting your van in the best condition it can possibly be got into and paying your car insurance ahead. When you've got about $5000 in your pocket, THEN you can think about leaving.

Does that suck?? YES. Will it make you more miserable in the immediate term?? Probably. But it will get you out, with a stake in your pocket, and THAT is what you have to think about when you want to scream and throw things while you're doing all this stuff.