Can you be a liar and still have Aspergers?

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I could lie as a kid. Very well too because if I didn't, my stepfather would beat the crap out of me. But, more importantly, I think the inability to put forth the usual body language and facial markers were off, people couldn't tell anything. As I got older though, I found I couldn't. Can't lie worth a damn now either. It just doesn't even get in the thought process mix anymore. Has caused me a lot of trouble not being able to lie.

I remember when I was a kid, visiting my mother, I used to get in trouble all the time for it. What I could never understand was what was going on around me. Those little lies my mother and stepfather would tell each other.

She would go out and buy me something. SF (StepFather) would get ticked. So, then she would buy me something and tell me not to tell SF. I would ask what to tell him if he asked. I was told, "Just think of something. Don't tell him (whatever)." And he would do it too when he wanted to cut loose. Really hated that. Can't stand liars now either. They worry me because I am so, maybe not trusting, but take people at their word...I think it's naive that at 55 I can still be so gullible on some things. No BS detector there.

Basically the people who whipped my ass or, made life miserable were the ones who reinforced that behaviour. And I couldn't navigate the white lie. Still have trouble with it today.

The ONLY really good thing that has happened as a result of that is that women learn to not ask me if ANYTHING makes them 'look fat'.

I do these lies a lot, mainly to save someone's feelings, avoid trouble or avoid an awkward situation. I can do these lies on cue too. No trouble with that. So, yeah, Aspies can lie.



I don't usually do these, but I do sometimes. Doesn't emotionally drain me.



I do these too, just to avoid having to explain something.

^^^^^ Yeah, I try the avoidance thing as much as possible. Kinda hard in a meeting and questions require being answered.

White lies trip me up because many times they are used to build confidence. A teacher tells a student 'good work' o encourage them. That is actually hard for me because I want to steer them to better work. And, it feel like this in my head when I think of telling the white lie to someone...It feels condescending towards them.

I dunno, just feels better and eases my worries to just be honest. I just wish I could learn to be tactful.

As far as I know there's no actual scientific data that shows people on the autism spectrum are incapable of lying. I think it's more of a misnomer and stereotype than an actual fact. One autistic kid I go to school with is supposedly a pathological liar.

I don't think it's as natural for us to lie though than it is for NTs. They can navigate social cues naturally and on the fly. I think that because of the way it works for us, we have to process the ability first. And that is aided by the fact that we seem to not give off the natural body language or way of responding that they expect. I think that throws them off.

I think any sentient creature would adapt to that because it is a built in reward system.

I can lie about small, non-important things quite easily because I lie about being a person all day and it is part of the character I play that day/time. Can't lie about important/big things though. That physically hurts.

A lot of people with Asperger's lie. I lie sometimes and I did when I was a kid too.

It is hard for me though. Not as effortless about lying as most people seemed to be.

Like I said in an earlier post, I can lie on cue, without giving off the ''wrong'' body language. A few months ago my supervisor at work was asking everybody individually if they had a problem with her being our supervisor (not in a petty way, it was just part of her role to survey all the workers from time to time to see if she could change anything about her performance), but because I knew she could be quite an abrupt person, I knew that she would also take it to heart if we had told her the truth. The truth is I wish she wasn't my supervisor, I don't think she is very professional, and she is very hypocritical, but when she asked me the question she was asking everyone, which was, ''do you have any problems with me being your supervisor?'', I just casually answered, ''no''. Nobody told me to say that, I just wanted to avoid conflict. It was also a conformity thing, because I don't think anybody else told her the truth either, and I didn't want to be the one to upset her, so I just went along with the others.

I'm also good with reading body language and picking up on things that go on, without anyone having to tell me. I know, I feel like such an odd Aspie, but it's really a social skill I seemed to have developed in childhood.

Of course you can.

I find it very hard to lie.

i know someone with asperger's who exaggerates a lot.

I'm not very good at impromptu lying. If I have time to think about it I can lie like a rug (<figure of speech).