Are you unemotional?

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Another thought, I have done several papers on psychopathic personalities and most serial killers fall under this subject. In order to continuously kill for the rush, one would have to be a psychopath with no empathy or conscience. A sociopath has a conscience. The serial killers that I researched could not be "reeducated" nor did they want to be. They didn't see any flaws in themselves or their personalities so there was no reason to try to change. People were just objects for their use then to be discarded. Most people who know anything about serial killers know that they start out killing animals to see what it's like then graduate with people. That's why anyone who does find themselves killing animals should see a psychiatrist.

I also think there is a desensitizing that comes with repeated exposure to certain unnatural behavior. An example of this would be in myself - when I first started researching serial killers I was so traumatized by some of the things they did that I became physically ill and had to stop researching for several days. Once I came back to the subject and continued to research, I found it became much easier for me as I delve deeper into the topic and subjected myself to it more essentially desensitizing myself to the point that I became obsessed with the subject matter. I do find psychology to be very interesting and disturbing at the same time. How a person can lead a double life (sometimes for decades) and no one be the wiser.

Last edited by nurseangela on 20 Sep 2016, 12:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.

No I am not a psychopath. I can never imagine doing those things.

Yes that too, but when I read it, bullies came to mind, and generally people who have bullied us are/were NTs. Bullies don't care at all about the victim's feelings, and don't seem to feel guilty for it. I have an autistic friend who gets attacked and punched when he goes out, by certain people he knows of. He's the same age as me, and the bullies are adults too. They just think it's funny to treat an autistic person like that. It's disgusting.

I don't think the thread is offensive or disturbing, I understand that feeling of trying to work yourself out. I play a 'game' sometimes where I imagine if I could let the person I'm talking to die, and then in what circumstances (i.e. if I had to be there, if I had to do it, if they asked me not to), which I know is messed up but which is to me an important part of exploring my psychology.

I don't have natural empathy so I have learned it; I actually remember the exact moment I decided to learn it, when I was 14, and I found I got along with people much better afterwards. I made friends with a girl who was very thoughtful and generous, and she kind of inspired me to try harder.

I do have emotions, but usually to the point where they are so intense my mind shuts down, and then I become unemotional. Right now I've had an emotionally difficult week or so, and I cannot feel anything or even pretend to.
But then I do have depression and some derealisation/dissociative problems; it's not that I don't have emotions, it's more like I don't always have a solid connection to anything that I should feel emotional about. i.e. I love my mum very much, but right now nothing's feeling very real to me, so I don't actually feel any emotional connection to her. That makes me feel very empty, but there we are... I think the best (and only) thing I can do is be aware of it when it is happening , and try my best to limit the damage.

I get what you are saying. I haven't had the best luck lately with NT women being friends.

The closest I've come to psychopathic personalities are Aspies with no empathy. I don't know what to think or how to feel about it because it's not like they want to be that way, but it makes me very uncomfortable and I can't be around them because it's not something that I can relate to. I just found out this weekend that this guy I work with told me he thinks he is Aspie and said he has absolutely no empathy. How can he be a nurse? He said because he is a great actor. The way he talks about people is so cold it makes my skin crawl yet I know him and really liked him. Then he told me how he really feels about people and I'm shocked.

I'm largely unemotional, but I get upset over the idea of killing someone. I also worry too much and get racked up with guilt over small things, so I physically couldn't do anything bad.

As for killing squirrels, you're despicable.

May I please ask how these Aspies are different from me? How do I know I'm not one of them? And do you mean cognitive or affective empathy?

I am unemotional in the sense that I might feel something for a quick minute then it is gone, and I am back to my ____ content baseline. I guess you could describe my existence as mostly "Meh!" with some high-lows in between.

But I am also a pacifist, I try to keep the peace as best as I can. I do not think or wish ill will on anyone, not even people that have done me harm. I am a look forward not back type of person, holding it in seems to hurt the self in the long run. I would also never hurt an animal or insect, I still have vivid memories of animals that have died in my presence. I build strong connections to them so hurting them would only hurt me and haunt me. I killed an insect about two weeks ago and I could not sleep for days after, every dream I had was about this insect and what I did to it (by accident).

What the hell Is wrong with you. It pisses me off when people treat me like a sociopath. Having a hard time expressing emotions is not being a sociopath. You might want to take your prejudice and either erase it or leave this forum.

I am autistic and I have alexithymia so to all intents and purposes I appear emotionless, that however does not equate with wanton cruelty, so we are different, very different.

I wouldn't describe not being a animal's best friend as just being cruel.

Have you got a victim complex or something? Why do you think that other people's posts are aimed specifically at you? I was replying to the OP, you know the person who started this thread and who has just posted wanting clarification about the difference between unemotional austistics and herself.

Well I don't think I'm alexithymic. I have a good imagination and no blockage expressing emotions I do have like pride and excitement (and I can fake others almost as fluidly). I don't think I have trouble describing emotions in others either. I think I'm pretty good at reading people at this point -- I certainly can make errors but when I do it's a mistake not a lack of knowing what emotions are or what they look like

I admit I can't get a clear idea of what remorse, guilt, kindness, compassion, or gratitude "look" like internally but I don't think I've ever experienced them. And I've tried really hard with friends and friend's children to find a bit of emotion to "pull" to make my masking better but there's just nothing there. It really feels like I'm say trying to paint a picture of a piece of machinery whose outlines I can copy but I have no freaking idea what it does inside. I have serious aspie sensory issue sleep problems but my sleepless internal monologue is usually clear as glass emotionally and I've never in my life lost sleep over guilt because nothing I think over feels like that. If I have emotions I can't identify then they are really really really well hidden.

Other aspies does this sound like you or not sound like you?

I would say I am overly emotional if anything even if I'm stonefacing it

In my opinion, I don't think that one can really "learn" empathy - you can learn how to act empathetic, but it's an act. In my opinion, you either have empathy or you don't. It's a feeling and not a thought. It is also like Aspies having to act like they are NT - they don't acquire "NT" they are acting like NT's, but it's without the feeling. I also think one can be desensitized so much that they lose their empathy - this has probably happened to me to a point with patients. In the beginning, I had empathy out the wazoo for all my patients because I had never been around real sick people before, but after being around them constantly I got burned out (desensitized) and now it takes a real casualty to get me stirring. Animals are different because they are innocent. A lot of illnesses that people have they bring it on themselves through lifestyle or acting crazy.

Didn't you say that you believe you are a psychopath?

Do you just "appear" emotionless, or are you also emotionless on the inside?