Shutdowns. What do they feel like?

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Is that the same as when fatigue hits? Many times when I worked on the railway I was tired coming home, and I would arrive home having no memory of the journey. The journey aas 17 to 18 miles.

That's happened to me.

Have a read of this bach

https://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/ ... s/shutdown

This doesn't happen to me every time I'm fatigued, but I can certainly see fatigue causing shutdowns.

I get them often.

They feel like a shutdown for a machine.

I don't want to speak/do anything else than what I like, like playing videogames or hearing my favourite song over and over.

What trigger them? perpetual external outputs. Like speaking too often, asking me many questions. My therapist told me to do 20 deep breathes whenever I feel like that.

Wow. There are things written there to describe me. For example, rarely do I have these situations when driving, but the few times I have had them or do have them I can direct enough "Brain energy and concentration" to drive safely but I will be looking for somewhere to pull in as soon as I can so I can put the seat back, and lie back to recover. I generally don't get recovery until I do this. Now if my Mum or others in the car start asking me questions like "Why do you feel like this?" and other things, I can respond but it takes effort, and it delays my recovery, sometimes making me delve deeper into the shutdown (I have called them energy loss as my bodies energy to do physical things is drained... so the deeper I go the less I can do etc... The first thing I do is try to lie down to recover. I also try to eat chocolate or take a sip or two of cola as it usually works to delay or lessen the symptom, but not always as it depends how deep I have gone into it. It is wierd in this way). There is no way I can then get out the car when in this situation and walk around. If I tey to do anything physical while standing up, it first looks like I am drunk and I will kinda fall to the floor in a partly controlled way... In other words I will have time to spot a safe place to fall to the ground and have a safe fall, in that I will be able to steady myself as I go down... So it looks like I am faking it.
Now I don't often get these when driving. The only real times I maybe in danger of getting these is when I am out and then find the traffic has stopped and I find myself in a traffic jam. I start to panic inside and this brings on a partial shutdown unless I can quickly find an escape route to the traffic jam. I will turn off any road that isn't an obvious dead end road just to avoid being in the traffic jam, even if I have to head in the complete opposite direction. The last time it happened I was saved as I was able to turn down a minor road and I didn't care that I could have been heading in the opposite direction... I would have gladly spent the whole day somewhere else then wait in traffic. It wasn't just a "I don't like traffic jams". No-one does! This felt more of a life or death situation inside me, as while I get energy loss I get a panic inside me as it gives me a horrible feeling... It is a feeling of stress, panic and fainting all rolled in one but can be spread out? The concern for me is that if I do get one of these events in a traffic jam and go deep into it, I will be rhe new traffic jam when all other traffic has moved! It has not happened to me before, as I am not panicky if the traffic is moving, or if I can see what the delay is etc... I know almost every road and street in my local town so I can drive to avoid traffic. My brother is funny. He says "Here we go on one of my famous short cuts (As I say "Short cut" when I turn off) which end up taking longer!" For me, it is about keeping the car moving so I am relaxed.
Now shutdowns (Actually partial shutdowns) are rare for me when driving. They are common though when I am working in a job. Naturally jobs involve stress and many times physical effort, and dealing with people or a noisy enviroment. I do not know to this day how I did 9 years on the railways, but the railways and trains are my number one hobby so my enthusiasm often overrode situations to trigger shutdowns. I dis have them... Ohh. I had many, but I would go back to te back cab, recover and get back on with the job.
My other hobby where I have been employed for most of my life, I have gone in a more of a downward spiral where the last part time temporary job I was on the constand fringes of a shutdown (And Inhad them) and I was soo glad it was a temporary job.

A giant "brain freeze" when nothing that comes out of my mouth is remotely coherent or intelligent

My version of a shutdown is when I go silent and don't talk. I never really know what I'm feeling at the time but, I know I'm overwhelmed at the moment. I block everything else out and kind of look like a zombie really. I usually don't move either and just sit in whatever spot I was in the moment it happens.

Thanks guys. Lots of very different descriptions.

I think I have been experiencing something similar and not realising it's a shutdown from overstimulation. When I talk to others they nearly always say they have even energy throughout the day. But my energy is really up and down. I notice this crazy tired feeling/energy draining encroaching very quickly after being in certain places. Ikea is a definite to set it off, literally every time I get to the checkout I feel the heaviness/shakiness coming over me and I can barely pay and make it back to the car. The same happened at the train station the other day. All the trains were delayed because of an unknown reason which was really stressful (and I'd already had a stressful day talking to a psychologist) so the trains were stuck at the platform with their engines constantly running and lots of people all around. I immediately felt the exhausted heavy feeling creeping over me and had to really fight it so I didn't completely shut down and miss my train. It was getting to the point where I just wanted to cry but as soon as the trains were cleared to leave and the noise level dropped I felt the tiredness start to lift.

Other times shutdowns happen are when I can feel a full blown meltdown coming on but it's in a really inappropriate place, usually at work, in which case it's more like a freeze response where my mind goes black, I become non verbal and can hardly move. The only thing I really want to do is flee to a safe place and curl up in a ball and cry. Unfortunately if people then try to talk to me they think I'm being rude and unresponsive. They just have no idea what is going on inside.

So sorry to hear you have difficulties like that. I get it so I need to sit down and preferably lie down to recover. If I try to force myself to do things, I find am in a half concious state where I appear to be drunk. Trying to move in a straight line while walking... Well. Walking would head downwards rather then straight. Do you find you try to eat sugary foods to help you recover?

Yes, I have often believed it might be because of low blood sugar but now I'm starting to wonder if that really is the case.

Yes. I have gone for years trying to track down what it is and it is only since I have been asking in here I may have found it with the help of people on here which I'm so greatful for. I think what you get describes what I get. I get shakey if I try to force myself to carry on, and then my eyesight slowly shuts down wirh a noise in my brain before I go down onto the floor.

Time vanishes for me. It is like the world is still moving but I'm stopped or stuck.

To update this thread, my shutdown experiences for a full on shutdown are like this except that I will be on the floor in a floppy jelly-like state unable to power my body and the eyesight loss where my vision turns to black goes from the top down like a stage curtain going down.
I feel everything almost amplified so people stepping on my fingers as by then I would be on the floor, and I can feel every footstep of people walking past and the air moving as they walk past, but I can't hear them due to loud tinitus or see them. Loud tinitus starts in the deeper end of a partial shutdown and lowers in tone as I fully shut down. After I recover I get what I call "Shutdown daze" where I have a light tinitus and I am vunerable for having repeat shutdowns so I need to take the rest of the day easy (Which one can't do if one is in a work enviroment which is an awful experience of chains of partil shutdowns with doing all I can to find ways to fight off full on shutdowns and hiding them by ending up on toilet floors etc (Not good for germs to shut down inthose places) just to prevent people asking questions!)

Here is the link: https://youtu.be/1CNY6BbtgS8

I get periods where I come over depressed and highly anxious, usually when there's a lot to feel depressed and anxious about. But I don't think it's shutdown, it's just depression, as it comes with feelings of sadness and worthlessness as well as mental fatigue.