My lame visit to see a "psychologist"

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ADHD is similar to ASDs in many of the effects, just not as severe.

Do you have serious problems in work/socializing compared to "normal" people (there's no need to answer this; it's just a good question to ask oneself)? I doubt a psychologist would diagnose someone with Asperger's if they're married and working; they seem to keep the labels for people who're severely affected (people who cannot do both of those at once), for good or bad.

For example, the "AQ test" (the 50 questions one), if you read up on it a little, it shows that some people in the original study scored high, and some even met the full criteria for autistic disorder (the "severe" form of ASD), it's just that they weren't negatively affected by the disorder in what they could achieve (this is the part they didn't meet). There's no way these people would be given an autistic disorder diagnosis.

First off, I'm military, so any psychologist I see will be military as well. In this case, I saw a resident (trainee) Captain who video taped our session for review with her supervisor. After well over an hour with her, her best guess was that I was ADHD with social phobia (!), and asked if I agreed to be tested. I told her I used to be suspicious of ADHD, but moved on to AS as I read more online. She said she didn't think that AS was the case. Keep in mind, she is in training, and had a reference book with her that she flipped through (to base her questions off of listed symptoms).

I just don't think she was listening to me when I stated my symptoms - my problems have been cause by fixation more so than aloof inattentiveness. For example, if I'm usually short on time, its because I can't pull myself away from what I was doing beforehand - I'm very aware of what time it is. My guess is she also arrived at her conclusion because when I said that I give people half an ear, if any at all, she must assume my mind is jumping all over the place when I tune out, but no, I'm just thinking about my end of the conversation (what I was saying, what I'm going to say next, etc). Furthermore, at no time did I suggest I was AFRAID of social interaction, per se, but I have always had a difficult time with it, especially not understanding "normal" people's need for constant interaction (I could be very alone and not kill myself over it, if you know what I mean. It doesn't mean I wouldn't feel lonely, however). I even described to her how I connect dots on the wall (usually in the shape of triangles) constantly and fixate on random objects during deep conversation. Is that ADHD?

I don't know. Maybe I'm no Aspie, but fewer things have made more sense to me after reading this forum. I'm so upset (my wife is too). I just want real answers and real help.