Theory of Mind and Asperger's Syndrome

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I have Theory of Mind. I am learning to understand body language and what not. SO I am becoming more sociable.

I still don't understand ToM and this isn't the first article I've seen on it either. To me, it's just a method people here use to understand something offensive that I said.

I don't know if I have "theory of mind" or not. I am aware others have their own thoughts and such, but I do make the occasional slip-up assuming they are talking about something I am currently thinking about, when it is not the case. But I thought everyone had problems like this from time to time?

I have difficulties associated with theory of mind. Unless it's something completely outlandish, sarcasm eludes me. I have similar problems to Scoots in taking things personally when they are supposed to be joking, but I have learned to give people the benefit of the doubt unless I know them to be just generally nasty. Apparently, no one knows when I'm joking, either, because they always say "Sheesh, we were just kidding" and when I say "I know that" they are like "oh, whoops."

I also have a tendency to think everyone's blank/tired expressions mean that they are annoyed personally at me for something I might have done, I try to remind myself that usually that isn't the case.

As far as predicting other people's reactions, well, a former roommate of mine once compared my conversational style to someone clicking links on a website to see where they go.

I wrote a paper last semester for my intro to psych class on Theory of Mind in autism and Asperger's, I believe I've posted it here before, but I can share it again if anyone is interested.

I had a problem with the fact that i would be ranting at great length and seemingly jumping from subject to subject, not thinking of the dozens of things i didnt even have TIME to mention that i wasnt saying between jumps. And i never realized how fragmented my speech sounds.

Oh well.

ToM doesn't just include not knowing that other people have thoughts, etc., but it can also mean (especially with the higher-functioning autties) not that the person isn't aware that other people have thoughts and feelings, but whether or not they can read/predict them accurately enough. Lack of awareness can be a part of it, but especially for the HF individuals, it is a matter of the accuracy or the interest in a ToM.

To be honest, often times I just don't care what other people think. I am not particularly geared to ask advice or request input of information from other people because I wish to do it myself instead.

My ToM functions on a logical and almost mechanical level. But it is not very intuitive at all. I can do a better job when I sit back and assess how another person might be feeling. --If I have an interest in taking the time and energy to do so, that is.

Interesting. That could be quite useful to try.

Are you referring to the sitting-back-and-assessing part or the ignoring-and/or-not-caring part???

Both.

I don't have a theory of mind. I have problems socially.

Oh well. I hope that those who were not born with social impairments can use their theory of mind to help us ratehr than persecute us more.

Non-autistic people can't figure me out automatically, and when they try to figure me out deliberately, they usually fail.

I can't figure out non-autistic people automatically, but I am better at figuring them out deliberately than they are at figuring me out deliberately.

I can figure out a lot of autistic people automatically, and vice-versa.

I don't buy the theory of mind hypothesis. I've had what have been considered to be serious problems with it, but I think it's another of those peripheral outgrowths of central differences in thinking/perceiving/acting combined with the way non-autistic people are, rather than a module in the mind that's missing.

Aspies and Auties could be better at understanding the minds of others due to exploring their own minds according to my cousin.

It could be that, and also that we are used to having to consciously navigate a sea of alien minds in order to get anything done at all. I actually have NTs come to me for advice sometimes, because I will see aspects of a social situation that they miss. The reason they miss them is that they often aren't getting to know each other from scratch the way autistic people tend to get to know NTs.

I know an autistic guy where we can read each other's body language. It's scary because neither of us are used to being able to read someone, or to being read by someone, to that extent, automatically. It happens without thinking. We will know what the other person is feeling like, what they wish they didn't look like they were feeling like, what they're afraid it will get mistaken for, and how much they're trying to hide it, it's like we're transparent to each other (at least more than we are to most people).

I asked an NT once if NTs could see each other's feelings to that degree, and she said quite often yes it works like that. But that she couldn't read either me or the guy I'm talking about. When I'm around a lot of autistic people, I can process information about many of them rapidly and often unconsciously the way NTs do with each other. There are misunderstandings sometimes (just as among NTs there still can be), but there's a lot more information being conveyed. I don't know how. It's bizarre and a little scary, because not being readable can become very comfortable around NTs.

I think there must be something beyond the Theory of Mind hypothesis in cases like these, because it's just too strange for it to be just that I have a "social deficit" if I can pick up information instantaneously from so many autistic people without trying. (One of my first friends ever was someone I could read and who could read me, and who couldn't speak very well so we talked through body language that was invisible to our teachers.)

I used to believe in humanity. Now I do not. This is because it is brutish and primitive. And not willing to accept difference.

I don't know what theory of mind actually means, but I will tell you what is wrong with my mind: I am always worrying about what other people are thinking. Here's some examples:-

My auntie has got a boyfriend who I am fond of, and so I seem to not ''act myself'' when she comes round with him. I sit there extra quietly, (usually I talk a lot to my mum and auntie, of course), but when he's there I just sit quietly and happily, trying hard not to moan about anything, and just act like ''butter wouldn't melt'' (you know that saying, don't you?) But one Saturday morning he came to the back door with my auntie, and they heard my arguing with my mum. Then afterwards all I thought about was what my auntie's boyfriend was thinking. What if he laid in bed all night wondering why I acted so normal when he's there, but seemed very arrogant and argumentive and difficult behind closed doors?
But I told my mum that I kept on worrying about he was thinking, and she just said, ''I wouldn't worry about what he's thinking! I'm sure he wasn't really thinking anything - he doesn't even know you that much. And besides - he's forgotten all about it by now, probably. He's too busy thinking about his own problems - he's not sitting there thinking and worrying about what his girlfriend's neice is doing.''

I had to agree, to try and break out of this silly habit. I'm too busy worrying about other people's thoughts and feelings, and I sometimes forget that I'm an individual too who has thoughts and feelings!