Can you understand me?!

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Yes you are spot on really!

I mainly have problems at work - especially being freelance - because my fellow journalists and editors do not necessarily understand the way I communicate, in particular I think the fact that I can look quite 'blank' when they talk to me. Sadly, a lot of people will presume this means there is not a lot going in my brain.

However, in terms of the day-to-day duties of my job as a journalist, I believe it helps me to excel - I demand very literal answers to questions and I write in a very clear and concise way. In other words, I'm so determined to understand what people mean in my own way, that I get clarity and explanations that I think other journalists do not - this then enables me to explain it to the listener (I'm a radio journalist) in a clear way.

I feel it also helps my on-air delivery - I always fully understand people and stories as a result of the above so when I am reading the news, I can convey the emotion of each story quite well I think.

So I guess this proves the idea of AS causing many of us to do well in one particular field - there is hope, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes

Hi redrach, welcome. Yes, I understand you. You sound just like me.
I've gone through and edited your post, leaving the items which I directly identify with and can totally understand.

I mean this is so absolutely exactly who I am. Total sympathy with you.
I discovered Asperger's only 2 months ago. In that time, I've read every book, article, and study that I can on the topic, and been a regular on these forums. Every single thing I read confirms without a doubt that I have AS. It just matches up so precisely. I am trying to get in to see a professional about a diagnosis. In my situation, a diagnosis will open doors that would otherwise remain shut.

I commend you for your perseverance. You'll learn a lot here. Being in a like-minded community is a bridge to understanding yourself.
Again, welcome.

I say, don't give up. There are tons of Drs. out there. You just need to find one that specializes in diagnosing it in adult females.
I finally, at 34, got the diagnosis of ADHD(another of many lables)and have a Dr. that will order me the needed medication for it.(trying 2nd on tomarrow. Strattera= ugg, no sleep at all, so going to try short acting Ritilin. Hope it works) All of my previous Drs. failed to diagnose it even though I have had it all of my life. Same with Aspergers. I am currenly seeking diagnosis. I found a place, that is 70 miles away from where I live, that diagnoses adult female aspergers. Now it is a matter of seeing what my insurance covers in the way of transportation to and from the appt. and for the testing.

Hi redrach,

you are more than very much like me; i did not need Acacia's confirmation of that, to, less than tentavily, on the basis of your first paragraph, i shall assume you are autistic

Millie, is right, though, any diagnosis must be the result of careful consideration, not only in view of our presentation to the eye of the professional, which is very NT-ish (more even so than Millie's presentation, and she went undetected and undiagnosed until very recently

always: in my opinion, but more essentially as you are a journalist, and an independent one at that:
you MUST get a diagnosis, for all sorts of reasons, any material ones of the least import at your age, you have time... and no boss dictating it as well
as a journalist, you are already possessed by a responsibility to information and truth,
as a human being, i strongly advocate anyone 'to thine own self be true' for a dictum

this applies the more so to anyone autistic, as we already have so little self to work with

(however: although very suitable to certain aspie traits&needs, bear (always forget: bare?) in mind that free lancing can be considered the worst possible societal position for any auti)

excellent if you find a dx-pro with the right open mind for adult autism, but choose wisely and carefully:
any professional will only see what has been taught to see, it would be unprofessional to act any otherwise (i do not blame psychiatry for being ill-informed)
however: there will also likely be unwillingness to openly discuss the requirement of an open professional's mind: there are all sorts of status issues involved in being a professional; there will always be a tendency not to be open to change!

as you are highly a-typical, maybe best to find someone less bound by professional decree, a social worker actually invoved in autism, working with school children, and if not herself (Her, usually) than she should be able to redirect you

it may not be as difficult as you think

if you are as honest & loyal to yourself as i believe you must have been to be able to write your Original Post, than i am certain you will be able to make a decent enough living as a free lancing professional; give yourself to the age of 30 to really get going, up to then, you have time to experiment and do whatever

the best thing for you to do now, is look around and learn
and apply all sorts of alien stuff to yourself
(if i had that, how would that translate in my particular traits of autism)
i promise you: many of the weirdest things will still unexplicable create ringing bells in you, there will be a remarkable kind of emtional response in you, only experienced when described by the the word echoing

just let it, things will start falling into place, before you know it, as if you dont already know

Thank you for your comments Oblio (and others ) - they are of unbelievable value to me at this stage in my life, as I stare right at my self-diagnosed AS and accept for the first time ever, that I really do not understand things in the way other people do.

The comments you make about suddenly realising why you may do certain things, in a way you didn't before, particularly resonate with me: I have always just thought of myself as "weird" but I now see that a) this wasn't my view, but other people's view imposed upon me and my open mind (!) and b) my behaviour is different to that of most others because I have AS.

The stage I am now at with my dx is that I have now been referred to a hospital for assessment by a relevant person - I was initially referred by my GP to a mental health team who told her I should be treated for anxiety and depression and then come back to them when I had done this to be treated for anything additional. This was hugely unhelpful, but at least now I feel I'm heading in somewhere like the right direction.

Things are very scary for me at the moment, understandably, but I feel lucky to have found this community and to finally be beginning to understand myself and others: because of what I have learnt here, I can suddenly spot so many more things than I ever before could, most often in other people. Although what I can now see is often heartbreaking, I finally feel like I have some control over things, and that I can progress from here. For that at least, I am immensely grateful

just remember it is too late for you to get diagnosed with a view to timely intervention at any stage of development

you need not even worry over them getting it wrong; i don't know you well enough to actually suggest a number of more likely outcomes than atypical autism, or any stronger wordage

who is to know, in a subjective process, who is wrong or right anyway
if you decide not to be autistic, you will have had ample time to decide why, so you can search on with direction
but by the time you feel comfortable with the entire idea, you will decide who cares

the only real thing a positive diagnosis will get you is a feeling of acknowledgment, which may well be a feeling an aspie has never experienced

so it is, all above said, simply worth the pursuit, it is not worth losing any sleep over; and it is not worth not to be pusued, as you stand only to gain, which...
is the only reason why you MUST:

you owe it your empoverished self