Where are the succesful aspies?

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as you must have learned from the fairer gender by now, not all such stories are meant to be answered with "solutions" which may or may not be more often akin to shoving a square peg through a round hole- but simply with a kind listening ear, and nothing more. what is so wrong with that, with the simple act of listening to others' problems? some things there are no solutions for, so at least offering a figurative shoulder to cry on is only a good thing, there is no downside to it.

In the traditional sense, I'm pretty successful. Top of my class in my major in college, which hopefully eventually translates into a good job. Does that necessarily make me happy? No.

to those of the high-functioning crowd who do well and effortlessly in life, and are still unhappy, what would it take for happiness to arrive?

I don't think there was any point in my life where I'd consider myself as being a success. I've never owned a house; I've had only apartments. I've owned cars so maybe that's something. I've had jobs. I've played in bands, recorded albums and have one book out now. Still, I'm facing homelessness so success eludes me yet again.

I know several successful autistic people.

Here I am.

(After all, successful is something we define ourselves, not what the majority and common think of when someone speaks of success.)

Well the ones who are struggling are the ones who need the most support from forum boards.

I wish I was like some other aspies and didn't feel lonely or have a desire to be social, at least in the form of having one friend and a partner as not being able to find those things is emotionally crippling me. I'd have been successful if it were not for my loneliness and the fact that I do not have any kind of loving support system. When you have no one it is harder to fight against the world to become a success, especially as a lone female (gender will also play a role as there are expectations put on you by society due to your sex) and are from the lower socio economic groups in society.

Basically I can get straight A grades in any subject I study but cannot afford to study (it is too costly) and have no support network helping me, not even family or friends. I have ability, but no one to help me fight the system so that I can make use of it. So it is being wasted instead.

I am the most vulnerable in society and the one who they are most likely to s**t on. No support network, no loving supportive family, a disability, no money, no status.

Society does not care to even give me a chance, let alone help me. It is the one who thinks I am not worth anything, even love, and it is an arrogant f*****g prick that can go to hell.

PS I have done the whole trying to help myself thing but people undo all my hard work or wont give me any credit for any of the hard work I have done so it has become fruitless and pointless to even bother trying outside of caring for my own health.

All they focus on are any perceived flaws they think I have, they ignore stuff like the fact i live a healthy lifestyle, quit a drinking addiction, gave up a smoking addiction, got A grades at Uni, excelled at my jobs when I was well enough to work (before their poor treatment and abuse of me emotionally crippled me for life). They don't congratulate they slap me down so that nothing I do makes any difference in my life outside of my own physical health.

They keep on about my being productive member of their society...well if they want me to do that perhaps they should treat me like a human being and include me in it then. Even if I were well enough to work (which I presently am not) I am not putting in effort to contribute to a society that has clearly rejected me.

I mean what a f*****g cheek!! !! !! !

They reject me, bully me, ostracise me from said society and then expect me to f*****g contribute to it?

Are they having a f*****g god damned laugh?

They want me to contribute..they need to be nicer. Then I wont' be crippled by depression and I might be able to work.

It depends on your idea of success as to who may or may not be deemed successful. Take me for instance...

Reasons for: I have won numerous awards and set records in both my career and my areas of interest. I have children. I have a partner. I am currently enjoying finally getting a shot at my dream career. Not bad for a Deafblind Aspergian.

Reasons against: I am not wealthy. I do not yet own my own home. My mother lives with us and helps out a lot.

Well the last part is right, however... Being blind can mean a whole range of abilities and disabilities and being Deaf can mean a whole range of abilities and disabilities too. You might like to consider learning a bit more about other disability groups some time.

Something you have to realise about the nature of autism and being successful, being more successful doesn't necessarily mean fitting in and not noticing you have autism.

I have no problem making friends at all. Every class I've ever done, ever job, every course, I always have someone to sit with, I always have people to talk to.

If anything, being successful is just some other way to discover your differences. More exposure to people doesn't make your feelings about the fact you're different disappear, they make them more obvious.

Being able to fit in makes it more obvious that you're different and that your way of seeing the world is vastly different to the nts around you.

The only aspies I see not noticing are like an online friend I have. Someone thats very middle class, with academic friends all around her, with a very aspie/ intelligent family, and possibly other aspie friends that are also undiagnosed. Basically not so much a solo aspie as groups of them that meet each other's needs in friendship and grew up around other intelligent aspies and so never found the need to be lonely and start looking for reasons as to why things weren't working.

As an example of places where aspies can grow up and not notice they're different because of growing up around fellow aspies, for doubters, I'm talking about places where our kind congregates, industries that attract personalities like ours. Places like silicon valley as a big one. If anyone doesn't notice they're aspies because they got what they needed growing up it's people like that.

That can be true and is something to always be aware of. But this happens in certain groups more then others, and in my opinion and by my experience you won't find a more honest group then autistics.

successful in which way?
i am usually successful in endeavors that i embark on.

if you mean "successful" with respect to how one's life turned out, then i define that type of "success" as attaining what i desired to attain, and even though what i desired to attain may not be equal to the aspirations of more demanding people, i am satisfied and free of stress.
i do not want more than i have because i have all that i want.

I'd take solutions over what my friend has to offer me: "I won't pity you or dismiss some of your 'craziness' as things that you can't mature out of;" "Stop trying to classify and subclassify everything. Compartmentalizing your personality isn't going to give you better understanding of yourself, nor will it make you feel better;" "Try not to be obsessive. You're just being that way because of your Asperger's. Even doctors (who don't have autism) don't pay any attention to all the DSM-V terminology;" "Once you graduate and get a job that you really enjoy, then you will feel better than ever".

1. Undiagnosed
2. Too young to really be anywhere
3. Somewhere in the computer industry

I have had many successes. I have not managed to do the things that are typically expected of adults, however.

Seeking attention is not inherently a bad thing, nor is venting about a problem without desiring a solution. It is awkward to deal with when one's instinct is to offer solutions. Usually if I can't tell what they want, I ask.