Not able to change

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That is exactly how I think of this. I try not to irritate or bother anyone in any way. I am weird and strange but I don't care as long as it hurts no one. I do not think I can change this to any significant level. I see myself as the authority not others. If they don't like me they can avoid interacting with me which is extremely easy to do. If that is not enough they can go @#$%...

This is why I gave up on interacting with people 12 years ago and half of the people here make me wanna f*****g puke too.

bumble,
is there a ring and ride service in that part of norfolk?
being on DLA/PIP are entitled to use it and itd mean getting out of the area more assuming the service was there.
if there isnt one,its possible to get one by campaigning,a fellow service user of mine in a rural part of yorkshire is campaigning to get ring and ride set up there.

some parts of norfolk are awesome;croma for example-from own experiences [it may have been different for others] even the scallies there have manners and are welcoming ,and not abusive to those of us with disabilities; get the exact opposite treatment from them in manchester when will have them coming up directly into face screaming ret*d,thats called pyschological projection.

if were able to move a little away,what about norwich? its a great place,good shopping,more respectful public, the inlaws are from wood dalling in norwich and its incredible, it looks mega posh and rural and the buildings are huge cottages with massive front and back gardens,was shocked when was told that was their council houses,they shoud see what manchester has for council houses.

as for the social side, have ever tried looking into finding a local ASD or aspie meet up/drop in centre/social club,be around others who have specific socialising requirements and wont be as judgemental,am aware have said are not diagnosed with an ASD but they shoud cater for non diagnosed people who think theyre autistic as well given the number of adults who missed out on an asperger diagnosis.

shoud also add, are never anything but nice on here so those horrible people are completely uninformed,they dont know the bumble we know- and they dont deserve to have their ignorant views validated by getting upset/anxiety.
those ancient country pubs are always full of ancient people who stare and act like theyve never seen a human in their life,theyre not a good representation of the public to be fair.

Definitely. I live and swear by this. There are ways to navigate society and still be able to be yourself; that is, acting in ways that are most natural to you.

Yes but something I am doing is making people avoid me like the plague and I really don't understand it. I know I possibly have an ASD and i am not the most delicate of people when it comes to speaking about my thoughts but psychotic genocidal psychopathic murderers seem to have more social success than I do.

It is really weird. I have never been a social butterfly but have never been this completely socially isolated either. Even my therapist can't do anything for me but tell me I have to perhaps learn acceptance in regards to my situation. That doesn't help me change anything. Traditional CBT won't work for me as the problem is not coming from a lack of self worth or dislike of myself. It partially stems from difficulty relating to other people and their extreme reactions towards me.

For example where I am living people not wanting to talk to me because they say I am too weird. The only person who speaks to me is an oldish lady across the way. Her dog likes me and stops for me to give him a fuss when I see them walking down the street.

I don't think I could live a cleaner lifestyle if I tried. I don't do drugs or drink alcohol often or go to wild parties or break the law or sleep around or gossip or hurt anyone...I read, eat a clean diet, visit museums, watch old movies and documentaries, travel to the coast, do arts and crafts, I got good grades at college and University.

Why is are people acting like I have the plague and I am not decent enough to associate with. I don't understand it.

It hurts as I cant see any reason people would avoid me. Yes ok I rant at myself when I am upset and I write my odd thoughts down on posts and in blogs but that is all I do wrong. I have never attacked anyone, I don't live a destructive lifestyle even if I do sometimes hit my own head in private, but that is only when I am overwhelmed by something. I don't hit hard enough to cause bleeding or bruising and it only happens a few times a month usually and that is on very bad months...on good ones it doesn't happen at all.

I don;t even verbally attack anyone in person even if on occasion I may have ranted at people who either flamed me online or who's posts I misread over the years. It's just the internet. And half the time I was disagreeing with them and they read it as an attack when it was not. I pointed out flaws in their logic is all. People can't expect me to agree with something that is obviously logically flawed and full of holes can they?

If I say an activity is boring they take it personally as though I just insulted them and their worth as a human being. I fail to see how my lack of pleasure in something has anything to do with their worth as a person...I don't get the link! This is why I think the human race has gone nuts...there isn't logical link between say finding ten pin bowling boring and the worth of another human being who happens to ten pin bowl on occasion. What does one person not finding pleasure in an activity have to do with another persons worth? It is so bizarre.

I have not done anything to deserve the treatment I get from people really, except maybe having had opinions they disagree with. They are just opinions....people don't have to be so anal about it.

I don't know, people can act very strange sometimes. I used to feel like that, too. I think just having a close group of people who I can relate to helped me boost my self-confidence. Learning about how people behave also helped me figure out situations better and not take anything personally. Perhaps once I became comfortable with who I am and started emotionally blocking out other people's negative reactions because I reframed them differently, people also started looking at me differently. Many people still don't particularly want to engage me, but I find that more and more people approach me nowadays and I feel perfectly comfortable in my interactions with them.

Regarding your posts, you are actually one of those people here who really stood out to me because I could relate to your problems with people so much. Even though I "know" why people do chitchat and enjoy talking about inane things, doesn't mean I feel the same or can do the same. I interact with those with whom I can share interests and/or experiences for mutual benefit, but it's a purely intellectual connection, not an emotional one.

I think your therapist is right and you might need to work on acceptance. I can't give more specific advice online because I would really need to know your situation well and be able to observe how you come across in various social situations in order to help you further. You seem like a perfectly good person to me. I don't know if this would work or not, but one of the things that helped me is finding people who would be willing to spend some time with you, maybe even observe you in group situations, and describe how you come across to others. I would then take that knowledge and see how you could advocate for yourself or find other ways to work social situations in a way that allows you to be included.

People have told me that I can be rigid about my interactions and try to mold them to myself when I'm not satisfied, lol. But that's my Aspie rigidity and preference for routines and at least I can actually engage with people and enjoy it instead of being a socially anxious wreck like I used to be!

I'd be interested in having someone observe me in social situations so as to instruct me as to what I am doing so wrong but don't know where to find such a service. I don't have any real world contacts to do it for me.

I think it's a good idea to get a diagnosis and then look for some services. Aside from going to autism centres, etc. I've had a private paid mentor before who advised me on things and whom I could ask about things like that freely. She moved to another province to do her Master's so she's not mentoring me anymore, but services like that have been immensely helpful.

ASD social groups are excellent for meeting like-minded people and gaining self-confidence. I remember you posted a thread trying to find a group near you. I saw that several people replied to it. I suggest you try attending one, no matter how anxiety-provoking it might be to come out to a new group. It really is worth it.

Hi I am NT and I think you have seen some of my posts. Anyway my friend has aspergers and shows little to no interest in socializing for the sake of socializing unless one of two conditions is met:

1. It involves one of his routine interests
2. There are attractive women present

I kind of had this revelation today because I started connecting some of the dots - he was willing to try things he does not normally do as his routine but only if opportunities to meet women presented themselves in the past. One thing I can see.. and I shouldn't say I'm NT without stating I am very unusual.. I may have ADD or another condition.. one thing I see that my friend with Aspergers does not see is that all those times he is saying no no no he does not want to socialize for the sake of socializing, they can sometimes lead to opportunities to meet women (networking). One of my siblings is a 30 something virgin. I have learned that for me in life meeting a mate requires a plan and execution. Online dating is a good way to start but you really have to be tenacious and not give up and be willing to change your strategy. One good thing in your favor is that you already have a goal - to meet a lover. The strategy should be you will do whatever you have to short of killing someone imo. Then you map out your strategy and execute, tweaking as needed. Just my 2 cents.