Anti-Empathy as Aspie traite?

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That's not required for empathy though. I recall the example of people who feel good when others feel bad (sociopaths).

I have misplaced empathy. I feel bad for people who get in awkward situations, or are abused, attacked emotionally, etc. And I'm always being told that I'm over analyzing things, and 'that's not that way at all'.

I have seen so many examples of lack of empathy in various humans that I find myself confused over what empathy is.

I have enough empathy to not laugh when someone gets physically hurt, but not enough to avoid smirking when people embarasses themselves - "Funniest Home Videos" is not my favorite TV show, even though I've been on it.

I get snarky when someone makes a post that has a rambling and non-specific "Poor, Pitiful Me" style, but when someone is having a real problem (chronic pain, divorce, sickness, unemployment) I try to be helpful, even though it may not always seem that way.

I have trouble with empathy when it comes to personal slights, but not so much raw injustice itself. However, when it is something I am very familiar with I tend to think I have a better time with empathy.

Like pakled said, I think I'm just always over-analyzing things.

I can so relate to that! I wonder if it’s a common aspie trait to have such a strong negative reaction when you feel like someone is patronizing you by insulting your intelligence.

Though I don’t think this is necessarily the case in your story above, I notice that people will often use passive aggressiveness as a social defense mechanism. They’ll be very careful not to directly say anything directly hurtful, but it will be obvious from their actions where their true feelings are at. The worst part is how they then expect you to have the ‘courtesy’ to not take offense visibly. The problem is I don’t care what people say, I care what people think. I don’t care how directly or indirectly they make it known, the cold hard truth is that it hurts all the same.

Yet they’ll think that I’m obliged to hold my feelings in. If I show anything they’ll be able to claim that I’m “misinterpreting” or “overreacting” just because they didn’t literally say anything hurtful. I’m automatically the bad guy. But I don’t give a f**k. I don’t like what they think and unless they change their thinking I’m not going to hold my feelings in. If there’s anything that stirs my ire to the point where I’m teetering on the edge becoming physically violent it’s this.

i'm somewhere between 'only empathy twards animals' and 'very little empathy at all'...and non-empathic. Lets face it...i'm gonna addmit it even--I am just not a very 'empathic' person (though...i DO have a heart---hopefully).

In genneral, i'm a bit vain and self centered...I don't like to be cruel to others just for the sake of being cruel or try to perposely do 'nice' things to get my own way (when i act 'nice' or 'sweet'...i don't like to do it just to seem blameless, because i am not blameless, even if i know i'm 'cute' and all, meh), nor am i catty or the like...i'm not into manipulation....personally it horrifies me to peices.....x.x;;

But I have difficulties showing empathy still anyways. I can REALLY whine when I don't get my own way, and scream, and pout...sometimes I can say some pretty harsh and cruel things to others just to get my point across, too...sometimes seemingly not even caring how it may make them feel. While I do try to be sweet and empathic, I do lack empathy...but at least I don't wanna take controll of the feelings of others, either....

This is why my obsession with cuteness puzzles me.

One of my ed-wife's complaints about me was that when she complained to me about something, I would give advice when she only wanted me to empathize with her.

I have a tendency to do that, or I will empathize with someone's situation, but I won't say it. Or I will act like I am empathizing even though I think they deserve it or I care for them and know that they expect it even though I really don't care that it happened to them.

I have to agree in what you said, as a starter of this thread. I hold honesty and to be fair high in my life and many ppl seem to have a lack of these qualities.
In general I think most ppl don't deserve empathy, because they are in general a**holes. I have however, emathy towards the few that have become close to me.
I feel animals deserves empathy, cause they can't speak up for themselves.

I think the delayed reaction is one of the most important Aspie traits, and one of the most misunderstood. I'm not stupid, and I understand myself better than most. It's just that the feelings emerge slowly and are fundamentally different. So the shrinks want to believe that I am stupid and wrong.
I might take my time getting there, but I go a thousand times farther and leave most people so far behind that they can't see me at all.