Question for the self-diagnosed.

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rebbieh:
I don't know you in person, but your writing stile has something autistic.

Now, that's looking more like AS - not wanting to play/interact, having markedly different interests from peers, being a "tomboy" is common, etc - these things are in the details not in the generalisations whenever you mention what you think might be a trait give an example or try to explain fully what you mean and you will have a better idea of the specifics

parents and professionals miss a lot of things - your parents may have had concerns from time to time but if they ever expressed them they would have been told you were normal or you'd grow out of it or you were just a bit shy and anxious.

When you were a child it was very rare for girl to be diagnosed - it was hard enough to recognise AS in boys and girls present very differently, it's only recently that professionals have been getting to grips with female diagnosis. And, to cap it all, Asperger's paper was only translated into English in 1981, diagnostic procedures were not in place till the early 90s in most places, later in many, and most people trying to diagnose were inexperienced and thought that only boys could have AS as only boys were included in Asperger's work - because the female presentation looks so different from the male presentation (it is exceptionally subtle in many women) they didn't realise that they were missing a whole generation of girls.

Your parents would never even have considered you had a condition to explain your unusual behaviour, they would have just thought you were a bit unique and probably liked the fact that you weren't growing up into a sex mad teen who would do anything to create as much tension and trouble in the family home as they can!

if you want to talk and can't because your brain won't let your mouth or throat or something work properly then that's probably selective mutism - just keeping quiet is probably not, not being able to speak or being hushed due to anxiety without actually being prevented by your own body from getting the words out is a more common response to anxiety and not necessarily mutism. However, I am not an expert on it and wouldn't like to say definitively - there may be subtleties and shades I'm almost certainly not aware of.

The wiki description will be basic and clinical and biased towards the male presentation - most women and their parents would not recognise themselves or their daughters in it!


Best book on women I know of is Aspergirls by Rudi Simone - buy it, read it, re-read it and then give it to your mother - if neither of you see anything that strikes a chord of recognition in there then you probably aren't on the spectrum.

Just read it and see how it goes - if you recognise yourself (and I think you will know if you do) you will have a much better idea of who you might be and where to go from there

Remember every person on the spectrum has a different package of sensory issues, comorbid conditions and personality so there are many presentations, levels of need, and strengths. Not everything will strike a chord but enough may to help you be more sure of your feelings about yourself.

There is a saying: If you have met one person with autism, you have met one person with autism!

There is lots of advice on coping strategies too - many of which may be useful even if you aren't on the spectrum, you certainly experience social anxiety if not the whole package.