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Is true that autistic women have it much easier in dating?

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Spiderpig
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28 Jul 2016, 8:02 pm

At least, they can learn from experience. If you're not good enough to attract anyone, you're perpetually stuck at square one, which in turn means your inexperience will become more and more a deal breaker against you, further consolidating you as someone who has no business trying to date.


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28 Jul 2016, 8:07 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
At least, they can learn from experience. If you're not good enough to attract anyone, you're perpetually stuck at square one, which in turn means your inexperience will become more and more a deal breaker against you, further consolidating you as someone who has no business trying to date.

conversely, if you get too easily into [a] relationship[s] without really knowing what to expect from it and how you got there to begin with, you can end up "learning" that life is a giant depressing joke and that you're meant and doomed to endure abuse that you don't even realize is abuse. i've seen that (real) story told countless times

apples and oranges. both are fruit though


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Tufted Titmouse
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30 Jul 2016, 2:18 am

This is frustrating, because I looked through the entire thread to see if ironpony posted again.
No word yet.
I agree largely with the view that two people on the spectrum can be like two blind people walking down a crooked path.
A person on the spectrum, myself majorly included, will often feel most drawn to a person off the spectrum.
I remember sitting in the cafeteria and meeting a girl who was "deeper" on the spectrum than myself. She literally grilled me about watching the new Frankenweenie movie. The table got quiet.
I could cut a slice of awkward from the air, and ask for a fork.
She asked me if I was going to watch the movie and I said "No."
While she carried on, my friend discretely passed me a note that read "Asburgers" (He didn't know how to spell it.) I didn't care, nor bother to correct him. I took it and wrinkled it up, nodding to him. He didn't seem to know that I have the same condition.
This was a great example of one Aspie trying to socialize with another. I don't even know if she wanted to date me, but I suspect this may have been her attempt at asking me out. It might also be why the table got quiet, as if they were waiting to see the result.
I also pissed her off by cussing. I pointed out that others at the table frequently cuss, and she said "No they don't."
I knew this was likely because they just don't cuss when she sits down - which she rarely did.

How I became high-functioning enough to even integrate at all with a table of NT's in the cafeteria? Insane amounts of practice.. and embarrassment.. which I hope she didn't feel any that day. I was honored that my friend didn't even know my condition, and I didn't care how he spelled it.

I personally would love to call it something else. I don't have a syndrome at all. I have a unique brain, and we are all beautiful.



clay5
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30 Jul 2016, 3:40 am

[email protected] wrote:

While she carried on, my friend discretely passed me a note that read "Asburgers" (He didn't know how to spell it.) I didn't care, nor bother to correct him. I took it and wrinkled it up, nodding to him. He didn't seem to know that I have the same condition.
This was a great example of one Aspie trying to socialize with another. I don't even know if she wanted to date me, but I suspect this may have been her attempt at asking me out. It might also be why the table got quiet, as if they were waiting to see the result.
I also pissed her off by cussing. I pointed out that others at the table frequently cuss, and she said "No they don't."
I knew this was likely because they just don't cuss when she sits down - which she rarely did.

How I became high-functioning enough to even integrate at all with a table of NT's in the cafeteria? Insane amounts of practice.. and embarrassment.. which I hope she didn't feel any that day. I was honored that my friend didn't even know my condition, and I didn't care how he spelled it.

I personally would love to call it something else. I don't have a syndrome at all. I have a unique brain, and we are all beautiful.


"This was a great example of one Aspie trying to socialize with another". How would her attempt have gone different if you were NT? You already said you behave very much like a NT and no one would ever think you have AS. You are just talking about her social blindness making everything awkward. How did your AS make the situation weirder?