What is Autism Speaks?

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I don't have depression. I was tested for it, and I don't have it. If I did I wouldn't be here, I'd be locked away like they wanted to do with me before. I don't think it's impossible for an autistic to thrive and be great at things, but to call it a pure advantage seems delusional to me. It has way more disadvantages than advantages. And being NT has more advantages than disadvantages, though obviously they're not without their problems either.

Depression can be mild or severe. It could be just a mild episode. I've had that a lot. I haven't seen anyone on here say that it is %100 an advantage. I personally am happy to be the way I am and I'm glad I'm not NT, and many people here feel the same way. It is a spectrum some people have more advantages and others may have more disabilities. I know I have my share of difficulties that relate to autism but I know many other people who are NT and are not as capable as I am. Personally when I think about all the traits that make me who I am, I don't feel I'm at a disadvantage, quite the opposite actually. Ultimately though arguing about who has it better or worse is pointless, because there is no way to truly know what others are experiencing.

I don't have depression. Do you have any idea how many psychiatrists have tried to test me for it over the past year? Not one of them found any reason to believe I'm depressed. Why should I take an armchair diagnosis over their opinions?

Compare employment rates NT vs ASD and see who is more favored. Humans are born, go to school, get a job, reproduce, raise their spawn and die. NT vs ASD, who fares better on that? I will never reproduce, I am not doing as humans were intended by saying that though. Why do I even think that, shouldn't it be in my nature to? I question that a lot. As a human I am failing at my purpose. No idea what to even think of this.

One of the biggest advantages we have is our non-conformity (as has been mentioned). We don't follow the herd. That type of thinking is often needed to make great advances for the common good. We need people who are willing to walk against the crowd. Silberman makes this point (I think I am reading him right) in his book, Neurotribes.

Being NT I'm sure has its advantages. However, if we were all NT then we might all be following each other off the same cliff.

Nothing against NT's by the way. We need them as well. Desperately. However, I am increasingly starting to believe we (Aspergians) are here for a special reason as well.

NTs don't all follow the herd, either. Those with ASD may follow the herd in an attempt to blend in. Not as clear cut as that.

I'm not trying to diagnose you, I'm just giving suggestions because you seem very negative and down on yourself. Saying your a failure at being human IS a sign of depression and just because you were not institutionalized doesn't mean you don't have a low grade depression. It can often be overlooked. Just don't write it off as a possibility is all I'm saying.

Another thing is we don't have a purpose as humans as far as I can tell. There may be one but hell if I know what it is. Just because someone doesn't do what the majority does, doesn't make them a failure at being human. It just makes you different. It's not unusual to to not want to have kids. It doesn't make you selfish or less than human.

You're still 18, things are going to change and your perspective will change. Unless you're terminal it's a little early to start making definitive statements about your future.

I'm asexual. Unless that suddenly changes I'll never reproduce. Humans are animals made to reproduce just like every other species on this planet.

And I'm not depressed. If I was then all the mental health people I've seen would have picked up on it. But I eat normally, sleep normally, and I'm not trying to end my life or anything. I am writing it off because unlike everyone else on this website I trust the professionals to say what I do and don't have. They say I'm not depressed, I'm not depressed. Simple as that.

If I framed my statements as being "clear cut" then my apologies.

Maybe it's best if you trust your doctors with the questions you have here. You have faith in them and they might have the best answers for you.

Best of luck.

No it's no where near that simple. Just because someone is a professional doesn't make them infallible. Especially in the psychology field. Not everyone with depression is suicidal by the way. I've had depressive episodes but I have never been suicidal. I think you are making a mistake to completely write off that possibility but to each his own.

Again not having kids does not make you a failure. At this point in time with 7 billion people on the planet not wanting kids is actually rational in some ways.

I think I've said all I can about this. I like being autistic but I realize not everyone feels this way.

One professional? Not completely accurate. More than 10 professionals each from different fields, multi-disciplinary field teams all evaluating me in different ways and each one coming to the same result? I trust their conclusion without any doubt in my mind. Is that so crazy? Apparently.

Thing is I can't seem to ask questions through speech. No idea why. I can type better than speak. Doctors are too busy for my stupid questions on what the point of life is. They're busy doing their job. I have my diagnosis so their job on me is done.

Type your questions and take them to your next appointment. A good doctor should never be too busy too answer your questions. If they are then find another one.

I don't have another appointment with a doctor. I have no medical concerns. I'm not on any medication. I have no reason to see one.

Yeah you might not have any type of depression at all. The word doesn't really matter, it is pretty clear that you have a very negative view about things and it's causing you distress. Negative may not even be the right word, it could just be a kind of apathetic or "whatever" type feeling towards things. I don't know, I just hope you feel better about things and can find some happiness. I hope you didn't interpret anything I said as hostile because that wasn't my intention.

P.S. Wondering what the point to life and existence drove a lot of my depression. I still don't have a clue what the point is. I just try to move past it now because no matter what I do, I'll never know.

No, none of what you said struck me as remotely hostile. I think it may be apathy, which is what led the first group of mental health people to think I was depressed. They asked me if I'd ever considered death and I said I wouldn't mind it because I'd be dead. Apparently that was the wrong response. I really don't care for most things and lack strong opinions for the majority of things, though I do hold very strong ones on some things. I'd like to think that makes me pretty easy going.

Sounds like we have lot in common. I can get very apathetic. You're right it does make you more easy going because it's hard to get offended when you just don't care.

There are probably various online forums where professionals (psychologists, psychiatrists, and MD's) answer questions. Worth a shot and you don't need an appointment.