iliketrees wrote:
I don't have depression. Do you have any idea how many psychiatrists have tried to test me for it over the past year? Not one of them found any reason to believe I'm depressed. Why should I take an armchair diagnosis over their opinions?
Compare employment rates NT vs ASD and see who is more favored. Humans are born, go to school, get a job, reproduce, raise their spawn and die. NT vs ASD, who fares better on that? I will never reproduce, I am not doing as humans were intended by saying that though. Why do I even think that, shouldn't it be in my nature to? I question that a lot. As a human I am failing at my purpose. No idea what to even think of this.
I'm not trying to diagnose you, I'm just giving suggestions because you seem very negative and down on yourself. Saying your a failure at being human IS a sign of depression and just because you were not institutionalized doesn't mean you don't have a low grade depression. It can often be overlooked. Just don't write it off as a possibility is all I'm saying.
Another thing is we don't have a purpose as humans as far as I can tell. There may be one but hell if I know what it is. Just because someone doesn't do what the majority does, doesn't make them a failure at being human. It just makes you different. It's not unusual to to not want to have kids. It doesn't make you selfish or less than human.
You're still 18, things are going to change and your perspective will change. Unless you're terminal it's a little early to start making definitive statements about your future.