I've said that I wanted to kill myself just to get attention

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No, no, anxiety isn't a mental illness. It's a normal emotion. Not having the skills to cope with anxiety, so that it causes problems for you, is a mental illness. You will always have anxiety; every human being on the planet has anxiety, and they don't put Valium in the drinking water. Having it constantly and for no real reason, when it impairs your ability Generalized Anxiety Disorder IS a mental illness.




d been thinking and planning; they weren't far off.) They said "overnight"; I stayed for ten days and got kicked out of college.

They don't treat you with respect as a mental patient. They never hit me or restrained me (though at one point I had six people ready to do just that if I twitched a muscle rather than just screamed into my pillow). But they did keep me in the dark about diagnosis and medication, they didn't tell me what was going on, and they treated me very much like a small child.

Incidentally, the medical bills will haunt you for the rest of your life.

You see, anbuend, I never got over the fact that I live in a world full of irrational people, who often make judgements based on stereotypes and preconceived notions, and that I need to make concessions for them. We are all irrational, I grant you that, but some people are a lot more irrational than others and I simply don't feel like I should cater to them. Now, is this the sociopathy that you hinted at when you observed that my lack of empathy is not of the autistic kind? By the way, I've taken several personality disorder tests, professionally administered and internet-based, and I never scored high on antisocial. I tend to score high on Schizoid, Schizotypal and Avoidant.

Why won't they consider the possibility that I was just joking? It's a valid possibility, after all. (Just read this thread, if you believe I'm being dishonest.)

And if all I have to do in order to get locked up for 3 days is to claim that I'm suicidal, well, if I ever become homeless and don't have anywhere to go, ...

And what about the psychological trauma that an almost normal person will suffer after being locked up side-by-side with real lunatics? Did anyone think about that? Noone cares, right?

When you say that patients are treated with respect, ...

It's on a voluntary basis but I bet you folks brainwash them or coerce them in subtle ways into wanting to get ECTs. In that case, how can their choice to get ECTs be considered voluntary?

I always made it clear that it was my right to do whatever I wanted with my life and that they had no right to interfere with my own personal decision.

No, no, anxiety isn't a mental illness. It's a normal emotion. Not having the skills to cope with anxiety, so that it causes problems for you, is a mental illness. You will always have anxiety; every human being on the planet has anxiety, and they don't put Valium in the drinking water. Having it constantly and for no real reason, when it impairs your ability to get on with life, is the point at which it becomes a problem.

There must be other ways of getting attention. Lots of people like to have other people pay attention to them--most people, in fact, including most outgoing autistics and some of the introverted ones. It's a legitimate desire... Most people fulfill it by socializing, paying attention to someone else in exchange for having them pay attention to you. There are other ways; if you do something well, you will often get people to notice you. Certain styles of dress or behavior are more eye-catching than others.

So I guess the best thing to do at this point is to find a different way of handling your anxiety, and find a different way of getting attention.

Incidentally, I've done the 'suicide watch' thing. I was highly stressed and had done a lot of self-injury in an attempt to cope, so they figured that I was suicidal. (I was depressed and had been thinking and planning; they weren't far off.) They said "overnight"; I stayed for ten days and got kicked out of college.

They don't treat you with respect as a mental patient. They never hit me or restrained me (though at one point I had six people ready to do just that if I twitched a muscle rather than just screamed into my pillow). But they did keep me in the dark about diagnosis and medication, they didn't tell me what was going on, and they treated me very much like a small child. I got very little attention from the nurses, actually; they mostly try to make sure you are not killing yourself or anyone else. You generally don't get any more than group therapy in the hospital, either; they will focus on medical management.

If they get the idea that you want attention, they won't give it to you, no matter how much you need it. They will also label you 'Borderline', which doesn't help even if you actually ARE borderline, because it's such a stigmatized diagnosis.

And keep in mind--I was in the ward for the higher-functioning people. If you are actively psychotic or you can't take care of your basic needs, you won't be in a posh place like that.

If you are about to be homeless, saying you are suicidal is actually a workable strategy to stay off the streets. In my case, it wouldn't be a lie; I couldn't survive on the street and would rather have a clean death. To get in, you need to have a highly lethal plan. However, you need to be sure that you have a "normal act" ready to go whenever you want to get out--and that includes socializing with the other patients. Don't stay in your room. If you're a girl, put on make-up; if you're a guy, shave or trim your beard. Smile. Kiss up to the doctors and tell them you want to "recover". Take any pills they give you; if the pills make you too groggy to keep up the normal act, find a way to dispose of them--but remember that the first time you're caught doing this, you will never be able to do it again because they will watch you. This is a desperation strategy; it is what you do if you can't find a homeless shelter that will take you (which is likely enough if you are a guy, because they always take women first) and can't mooch off a friend or find a relatively public place to spend nights (college libraries are a good bet, usually, if you can look like a student).

Incidentally, the medical bills will haunt you for the rest of your life.