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TreeShadow
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09 Nov 2013, 12:58 pm

Gazelle wrote:
Success to me is reaching a goal a person sets for themselves. Success is also very subjective.


I think that this is a very good way to look at it.



JSBACHlover
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09 Nov 2013, 1:10 pm

I have two degrees from the top schools in the nation, I've been published in major journals and -- despite my awkwardness -- I became a Catholic priest. Some days I can barely brush my teeth and eat because of the sensory overload. But I MADE IT! And you can, too. YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTIONS. Despite your feelings, do the next right thing, and you will achieve your goals.



ouinon
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09 Nov 2013, 1:42 pm

JSBACHlover wrote:
I MADE IT! And you can, too. YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTIONS. Despite your feelings, do the next right thing, and you will achieve your goals.

So if you're not your emotions what are "you"? Thoughts/beliefs? And if you are *not* your "limiting beliefs" who or what are "you"? Who or what is determining which beliefs "you" hold and which things "you" observe/"notice"?

Who is it that is dragging your corpse around? At supper, who is it that is eating?

Where does the universe stop and "you" begin?

How far does this hypothetical "you", and its hypothetical power, extend? ...

Who or what is it that enables you to do "the next right thing"?
.



JSBACHlover
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09 Nov 2013, 3:46 pm

What is often called "the observing ego." It's the faculty of mind that makes decisions.



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10 Nov 2013, 1:12 am

JSBACHlover wrote:
I have two degrees from the top schools in the nation, I've been published in major journals and -- despite my awkwardness -- I became a Catholic priest. Some days I can barely brush my teeth and eat because of the sensory overload. But I MADE IT! And you can, too. YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTIONS. Despite your feelings, do the next right thing, and you will achieve your goals.


^^This.

I am convinced that the reason I have achieved so much in life is that I was not diagnosed, so expectations placed on me were high. None of this was easy. I have had breakdowns, meltdowns, and tantrums. I have lost friends, and had broken relationships. I have dropped out, suffered from panic attacks, and been crippled by depression. But I kept going.

Do I think everyone can achieve exactly the same level of success? No, of course not. We are all different. Some will always do 'better' than others. But I think the thing that is often missing here is the trying. Be the best that you can be, and don't worry about other people. But to just resign yourself to how things are, is to sell yourself short.

JSBACHlover, you are so right. Sometimes you just have to ignore your emotions, and get on with it. As one of my favourite quotes goes "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it."
8)



ouinon
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10 Nov 2013, 3:34 am

Moomingirl wrote:
I think the thing that is often missing here is the trying. Be the best that you can be ...

Everybody does that already; there is no other way that they/you/anyone can be.

You/they are at this moment totally and utterly the way that the universe designed you/them.

There are no "lost" versions/variations of you/them.

You can not lose your way ( no one can ); the universe keeps you on it, every step of the way, every single instant. :)

NB. "Trying" is a very interesting social construct :lol
.



LastSanityJermaine
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10 Nov 2013, 4:33 am

I'm still in high school, but I do plan on trying to start my own business in game development and major in computer science so I can also work in the IT field. Like the others I stopped performing as well as I could due to depression taking control of my life. Now at this point I stopped caring what people think of me and just do what I do best so I can succeed. I picture that day of everyone who has ever ostracized me, bullied me to the point of suicidal depression have shocked faces when they see me driving in an exotic car and I pull over just to give them finger.

To make sure this dream happens I've asked everyone in my family to buy me books on game development and IT certifications this christmas so I can start working full pay as an IT since I already have one year of experience under my belt the only I can't work in IT right now is because I'm only 17, haven't graduated from high school, and haven't gotten my A+ certification. Where I live the job offers for IT besides starting salaries of $40,000-$75,000 offer a lot like tuition reimbursements and healthcare plans.

I'm also trying to get part time job while I'm in high school so I can buy myself things like a cintiq, license to 3D modelling programs like Maya, a workstation PC and some audio equipment.



b9
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10 Nov 2013, 7:36 am

legomyego wrote:
so continuing what you are doing stops....you don't wake up everyday and say i have to continue what i am doing to maintain what i have/do?

that is correct. i do not have to do anything in order to maintain my income stream.

legomyego wrote:
i would consider you a success myself as well just myself even if i got everything i wanted...i would still say well i have it but i must attempt to keep it so even then i am never truly successful because i will die eventually...

when you get everything you want, then it very much tests your personality


legomyego wrote:
seems more a personality thing though anyways- i made a generalization...apologies...my own mind and people i know who are successful (not me) i believe do not think themselves a success....however that is likely not the 100% or even 50% probably....just what i know....theory of mind thing i suppose...

well i am sorry i can not rescue you from your free falling oblivion.



Gazelle
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10 Nov 2013, 11:39 am

LastSanityJermaine wrote:
I'm still in high school, but I do plan on trying to start my own business in game development and major in computer science so I can also work in the IT field. Like the others I stopped performing as well as I could due to depression taking control of my life. Now at this point I stopped caring what people think of me and just do what I do best so I can succeed. I picture that day of everyone who has ever ostracized me, bullied me to the point of suicidal depression have shocked faces when they see me driving in an exotic car and I pull over just to give them finger.

To make sure this dream happens I've asked everyone in my family to buy me books on game development and IT certifications this christmas so I can start working full pay as an IT since I already have one year of experience under my belt the only I can't work in IT right now is because I'm only 17, haven't graduated from high school, and haven't gotten my A+ certification. Where I live the job offers for IT besides starting salaries of $40,000-$75,000 offer a lot like tuition reimbursements and healthcare plans.

I'm also trying to get part time job while I'm in high school so I can buy myself things like a cintiq, license to 3D modelling programs like Maya, a workstation PC and some audio equipment.


Very ambitious goals and that is great. Set goals for yourself and do not give up.


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10 Nov 2013, 2:32 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
Of course, I would question the assumption that boasting about one's accomplishments is somehow a bad thing.

it is a less-than-good-thing in mixed company.


I must admit I'm somewhat confused about what the two members quoted above mean by "boasting". I believe there would be more than a few members on the "work and finding a job" who might want to know methods that might help in securing and maintaining employment, just to use one example.


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13 Nov 2013, 5:20 am

AgentPalpatine wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
Of course, I would question the assumption that boasting about one's accomplishments is somehow a bad thing.

it is a less-than-good-thing in mixed company.


I must admit I'm somewhat confused about what the two members quoted above mean by "boasting". I believe there would be more than a few members on the "work and finding a job" who might want to know methods that might help in securing and maintaining employment, just to use one example.


See my comment above:
One-A-N wrote:
Talking about successes, to me, feels a bit like rubbing other people's nose in their difficulties.


Lots of people on the autism spectrum find it difficult to get a job, get married, etc. It can feel a bit insensitive to talk about one's success in those areas. I would have been struggling (more so than I am) too if I hadn't had help, so I sympathise very much with those who are finding it difficult to get the things in life they desire. That is what I meant about not wanting to boast (talk glibly about my "successes").



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13 Nov 2013, 9:19 pm

If one defines success in a financial matter, then I am quite successful in my career. However, the rest of my life is a complete mess. So it would depend on how you wish to define successful.