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MindBlind
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23 Dec 2012, 12:13 pm

Well, people often comment on how I seem fixated on something or that I seem contemplative, but I never get the whole "dead stare" look.



UnLoser
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23 Dec 2012, 2:43 pm

I think most people are unsettled by faces that aren't showing emotion, for whatever reason. My psychologist told me that there was some study that found that babies started crying very quickly when someone looked at them with an emotionless expression, and even an angry face was nowhere near as likely to elicit a negative response.



r84shi37
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23 Dec 2012, 5:06 pm

I think I can relate to this "stare". I was recently at IHOP with my family and I glanced at a women sitting across the room and then I sort of "slipped away" thinking deeply about something else. I was probably a minute later before I came back and realized that I had stared directly at someone for no reason. I then thanked my lucky stars that no one noticed. Now I'm slightly paranoid that it will happen again and creep someone out. Does anyone know why this happens though? Clearly it's common among aspies, but why does it happen?


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wesman8095
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24 Dec 2012, 1:38 am

UnLoser wrote:
I think most people are unsettled by faces that aren't showing emotion, for whatever reason. My psychologist told me that there was some study that found that babies started crying very quickly when someone looked at them with an emotionless expression, and even an angry face was nowhere near as likely to elicit a negative response.


This would probably explain why babies often cry after looking at me >.>



Chloe33
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12 Jan 2013, 7:26 pm

UnLoser wrote:
I think most people are unsettled by faces that aren't showing emotion, for whatever reason. My psychologist told me that there was some study that found that babies started crying very quickly when someone looked at them with an emotionless expression, and even an angry face was nowhere near as likely to elicit a negative response.


Yes, the Still Face Experiment (baby reactions linked to mothers faces)
http://geniusinchildren.org/2012/03/14/ ... parenting/


As for the military veteran stare, 1000 mile stare, dead stare, i guess these different or same stares could apply to a number of different people. Having a staring spell on the spectrum, to a veteran remembering a faraway war, or even to someone who had or is having a very hard time with depression or dealing in life. Some people might feel lost and their stare shows.



stellahall
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23 May 2019, 10:45 am

I found this website because I wanted to know more about my AS brother, to support him. He does this stare sometimes and it is a little unnerving, but I wondered if it was at particularly stressful ties and if that was something I should look out for. If he is just looking inwards and cogitating, that's fine!



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23 May 2019, 5:37 pm

Humm

Once when I was kid, a boy asked in a nasty way, "What are you looking at?" That's the earliest comment that I remember. I do have and have had a pension to stare when I'm lost in my head. I don't know what I look like when I do that though, the only comment I had about it was from that kid.

There are members in my family, on my father's side sometimes will look to have dead eyes. I have noticed this look in myself as well. I never thought to attribute it to Autism, I always just figured it was just a look a inherited OR they way my depression looks on my face.

I had heard that someone thought that I had 'crazy' eye contact. I'm not sure what that meant entirely, but from other information I gathered it seemed to be more about her feeling intimidated by me vs me being creepy? Maybe she was intimidated because she thought I was creepy lol


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Redxk
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23 May 2019, 6:21 pm

One of my son's friends (age 13) told his mother he was afraid of me because I stare "all the way into his soul."



Benjamin the Donkey
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23 May 2019, 11:32 pm

Raptor wrote:
I've been told that I have a "cold, sinister stare" or a "hard stare".

Are you a Peruvian bear in a peculiar hat?


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Benjamin the Donkey
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23 May 2019, 11:33 pm

I've been told I'm "intimidating" or "unsettling" when I look at people.

An American guy on the train once asked me if I was ex-military. (Hardly likely!) When I asked him why, he said I had an "intense, even intimidating" resting expression. He was an ex-marine.


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23 May 2019, 11:44 pm

I've often wondered about the guy who can be seen at around 0:46 in this clip......



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Benjamin the Donkey
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24 May 2019, 4:47 am

Oh, and that reminds me....

When I was 11 or 12, riding in the car, my mother said, "Don't look that way! You look ret*d! "
Shocked, I asked, "What way?"
She's said, ""Just... that way you always look!"

In case you're wondering, my mother was not a particularly nice person.


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CalicoMischief
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24 May 2019, 5:55 am

Acacia wrote:
I've been told by an NT person who is close to me that I have an unsettling stare.
Furthermore, she has told me that she's noticed the exact same stare in other people on the autistic spectrum. She characterizes it as a fixed, empty gaze, that appears cold and unfeeling, almost not-human. She says that it makes her feel uncomfortable, creeped-out, etc.

I recently checked out the book Pretending To Be Normal by fellow aspie, Liane Holliday Willey, and it has her picture on the back. I showed the book to my NT friend, and she looked at the picture of the author and said, "Oh my god! It's that stare!! !"

Just today, I looked at myself in the mirror, and I swear I saw what she meant.
There is a quality in my eyes that is haunting, as if the "ME" is missing... it is somewhere lost in my brain, but not present and engaged through my eyes. If the eyes are the window to the soul, then I begin to wonder about the nature of my soul... (not really, just an expression)


Anyways, how do you feel about this?
Do you think that Aspies have a characteristic stare?
Has anyone ever commented on your gaze or the looks you give?

Thanks for your replies!
8O

I have this, and it is unintentional. When the other person catches me looking their way I force a half smile and it eases the tension right away.



TwilightPrincess
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24 May 2019, 7:30 am

I don’t think I do this, but my sister-in-law who has Asperger’s does. It can be a little unsettling.


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dyadiccounterpoint
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24 May 2019, 8:43 am

I can do this and have been told I have a "poker face."

I think it's more spacing out or intently listening without significant or expected facial expressions.

I have this thing I do now with my face that is for social adaptation. Unfurrow the brows, soften the eyes, and keep my mouth in a position that is relaxed and slightly smiling.

Although...I have this strange problem where people will tell me to smile when I feel like I am actually smiling. Then I'll see a picture where I thought I was smiling and it looks like I'm scowling.


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24 May 2019, 3:16 pm

Plenty of lil dipshits have had the nerve to tell me that, I looked at them the wrong way. Too much or too little eye contact


They are so full of themselves that they truly believe that every time someone does something, they don't like, someone violated their stupidass "rights"



They have more resources than me. $$$, friends, job skills, power, authority, energy, intelligence, physical strength, emotional resilience



They could get away with don't anything

Legal or illegal


They could injure my worthless corpse

So what if that's "technically illegal"


They could be having sex with 911