Very bad meltdowns (vent)

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I've had very bad meltdowns this week. I don't know why actually. I mean, there have been stressors (living placement stuff, somewhat frustrating discussion with psychologist) and I have relatively few day activities (so little distraction from worries), but I've had this before and didn't always react that badly.

Looking back at my life and knowing what meltdowns and shutdowns are I can say I've had them. My life is focused on stress reduction so not so much anymore. I have a better idea of what I can handle and what I can't. However, I still have these little periods of realizing that I'm at the end of my functioning level even on a small scale. For example yesterday I went shopping for a winter coat and of course couldn't find anything I liked and could afford until I had made the rounds around the racks 4 times. I did find something but when I thought about if there was anything else I needed I realized I had to pay for the coat and get out of the store as soon as possible because I was all used up. It's like static in your brain.

im sorry u are having hard time i kinda think to know what u being though hope everything goes well soon -reaper oh and try to rest well

OMG, for some reason most of my post vanished as I was submitting it,a dn I only come back to see it now.

The main reason why I was actually writing this vent, is the consequences of the bad meltdowns. As you might know, I am in a psych institution. The psychologist in charge here wanted to speak to me today (announced only 10 mins in advance when I was getting ready int he morning!). She was saying that if nothing else works and I'm in this bad a meltdown again, they may have to put me into a time-out room or even isolation room at a locked ward for an hour or two. I've never been in an isolation room (the worst), but have been in a time-out room (less bad) for 45 mins once when I was at a locked ward last year, and that was bad. It scared me so much that for the rest of the time when I was there, the staff could use tiem-out as a threat to get me to shut up, even when I was not in a severe meltdown but just irritable...and now at this open ward they're threatening again! The psych got all like "oh but it's only the last resort, we'll only do this if you're a threat to the other patients or yourself (ie. I got kicked by another patient this week for my behavior)." This is all the legal mumbo-jumbo, but I've experienced threats at the other ward and even got put into time-out for simple irritability...I am so damn scared and suspicious...the staff have been betraying my trust with little things now (not showing up for appts, making changes to appts a few minutes in advance), and now this...and psych is saying htat I don't want to talk about preventing meltdowns (I do), that I don't want to make a plan on how to deal with crises (I do), etc...I'm really concerned about this stuff.

I don't know what to do about this. I am scared that this all will end me somehow on a locked ward with no help in learning to deal with this stuff, etc...

It doesn´t sound like they are helping or dealing with your meltdowns at all...

I too am subject to terrible meltdowns. I felt very bad recently actually. I try to hide it from my family though. Very fearful they might think I am crazy or something.

Ever need a new friend. I will talk to you. It doesn't sound like they are trying to help you. Just looking at you as a chore they have to deal with every day. Sounds like they enjoy taunting people. Not a very pleasant place I think.

They say I am the one who doesn't want to learn to deal with them. I've had to correct psychologist about this so often, and it cost me so much time, that in my opinion it's a waste of our time that could've been spent actually making a plan on how to deal with the meltdowns.