Fear of crossing the street (and other traffic)

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I've finally reached the conclusion that I am probably somewhere on the autism spectrum, though I'm still not sure there's enough there that I could be diagnosed. I find myself wondering about a lot of my quirks and characteristics whether they're autism-spectrum related or whether they're personal quirks due to other causes.

One of my quirks is an unusual timidity about crossing the street. It's not a phobia, and it's not debilitating, but I much prefer to cross a street at a light (and have sometimes gone a block or two out of my way to do so), and wait for much longer gaps in traffic than most people when crossing not at a light. When crossing with other people, I will sometimes follow their lead, but especially if I see a car coming or if the light's not green I sometimes wait, or express my discomfort to them. It's a big enough thing that my friends are well aware that I'm oddly afraid of crossing the street.

Part of this is due to having the dangerousness of cars well impressed upon me as a child. Of course most parents warn their children about the danger of cars, but I think it was probably especially impressed on me and my siblings, because my parents often used to comment on how "You're much more likely to die from a car accident/being hit by a car than [insert dangerous thing here]", which both had the effect of emphasizing how dangerous cars are, and of making the other danger less scary, since it was less dangerous than something that was a normal part of everyday life. But my siblings heard the same message, and they're not as car-scared as me, I don't think.

It occurred to me that perhaps part of the reason for my timidity in crossing the street is as follows:
Crossing the street is a social navigation. When crossing at a light, you can mostly assume that drivers will be following the rules, so if you follow the rules yourself, you should be safe (though it's still a good idea to look out). Crossing the street away from a light, however, doesn't just involve the physics of how long it's going to take the car to arrive at its current speed, and how long it's going to take me to get across the road. It also involves the behaviour of the driver, and how the driver responds to my behaviour. It involves (or it can involve) judging whether the driver will slow down or stop if I start crossing, and whether making eye contact will encourage this, etc. If I'm waiting at a crosswalk, it involves judging whether the driver will slow down/stop sufficiently before I cross.

I tend to work under the assumption that drivers won't slow down or stop, unless they do so before I start crossing. Waiting at a crosswalk, I think I used to wait for the car to stop, though now I probably have more practice and would cross if I saw it slow down sufficiently. I know in certain situations my companions will walk out into the street when a car's coming, trusting that the driver will slow down, because they aren't going to let them run into someone when they can see that they're there and have time to stop (this viewpoint has been expressed to me explicitly). I have a difficult time trusting this - not that I think a driver would intentionally run into someone, just I'm never quite sure that it will work as intended.

Any thoughts?

I can't stand chaotic traffic, that's why I won't learn to drive. Belgian drivers don't behave very well comparing to many other countries. About crossing the street: i only rely on the signals when there is alot of traffic. I am not a rainman either in traffic.

It seems to be a reasonable fear for those of us who have difficulty reading intentions. I think it natural to be apprehensive when you are placing yourself in a position where misreading a move could be dangerous.

I tend to have the opposite problem. I rarely cross at the crosswalk and will often step in front of moving cars when it isn't completely safe (to my defense, I can usually judge if they will have enough time to stop before hitting me, but that is only true if they notice me right away).

I have to point out however that my parents have told me that I have always been completely unaware of dangers around me (my dad is a carpenter and used to take my brother to work with him, he tried taking me but I had a tendency to not notice spinning saw blades). So, while I think I am adept at dealing with traffic, I would probably be better off following your example.

I hate crossing the road not because I'm scared of getting hit by a car, but because I hate standing there for the cross light to turn green with all the cars going past and people looking at me.. it's loud and chaotic as well.

Ah, yeah, I forgot to mention in my post that fear of traffic is also a significant part of why I don't really drive (I'm technically allowed to drive with certain restrictions, but I don't own a car, and only drive when I go back to the small community where my parents live and they make me drive to keep in practice. Also partly just the necessity of paying attention to too many things at once, and making too many fast, important decisions - but most of those things are the result of others on the road.


I haven't seen Rainman, so I have no idea what that remark is trying to say.

There's only ONE place I fear crossing the road, and it's here. It's because I know what lurks here and the mindset therein and I wouldn't trust most of them behind the wheel with me vulnerable, trying to cross a street. I barely trust them with me driving, but, I don't have much choice and I would much rather be driving than walking. My neighborhood is designed to promote activities like walking to the retailers across the street, they've put in nice sidewalks and everything but hardly anyone ever does because the drivers are so horribly inconsiderate around here. Not many people will risk it. It's so aggravating.