Can't understand this..

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Hello.
I am going to have a year off from school, so i could have some peace. I always get depressed and suicidal because of schools. I thought that when this summer ends that i can go to my cousins place, because i don't wan't to stay at my grandmothers place. My sister is going to school in the same town where my cousin lives and because of not going to school i must stay at my grandparents place(i have always lived here). I hate my grandmother she is manipulative and doesn't understand me. But she thinks she does. SHE DOESN'T!. She treats me like a nt. She is so dumb and ignorant. About grandfather.. Well he is an angry person. He gets angry when i do not do the things he wants me to do. And they really hate computers and all this kind of stuff. They frighten and anger me.
So i decided that i want to live half a year at my cousins place(cousin and her mother). I sould not get that depressed there. Because people there are more on their own and not bothering me with small things.
At first when cousins mum(my aunt) heard of this she agreed. But now when she had made contact with my grandmother(aunts mum) she thinks differently. She sayed that she is not going to be like a mother to me.. i didn't get this. I never told them that i wan't someone to take care of me there. I think i can take care of myself. By the way i am always quiet and doing my own stuff. I never need any mother treatment. I really don't understand why is it so hard to accept me. I could even help my cousin with his schoolwork because he is not wery good at it.

The hate against my grandmother has given me sick thoughts. I am afraid that i do need to get away from her. She is poisoning my calm soul.
(yes there are actually more things why i hate her. You should've noticed that i am not talking about my parents.)

Even now i can hear grandmother and grantfather argueing about something. i hate when people argue because it disturbs my calm being into anxiety. They make me miserable.

Is there something i don't get? Why is it so hard for them to give me some better time. And why are they thinking wrong of me?
(sorry for my english, not from english speaking country)

If it's possible, maybe you could try to talk to your aunt & tell her why you want to stay there. Tell her the reasons why you won't need her to mother you &, if you can, tell her your grandparents make you really depressed. You could even show her the post you just made to this group. Then maybe she'd understand & change her mind.

They sayed i can't go. I respect their decision and will not push myself there.

It doesn't fade with time either...I am 35 years old, and when I walked out of the house this morning, it was much cooler than it typically is during the summer. The first thing it felt like was the fall days when I was walking to catch the school bus. The school bus drivers are testing the routes, and as I walked to the driveway to get in my car, a school bus drove by. Just the mere sound of the bus, coupled with the cool air had me getting nervous and my heart racing like I had to go to school and my much more comfortable "grown up" life was just a mere dream and I was back into school hell!