My son cannot physically make himself hurry

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Quinster
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02 Sep 2009, 12:58 pm

Most people seem to be able to wake up and be out the door in 30 mins. I ont he other hand like to have AT LEAST 1h 30m. I just cant hurry. I think that i cannot organise my thoughts quick enough to hurry.



granatelli
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02 Sep 2009, 1:17 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
My husband and I are a bit like that, as well. I'll never figure out how people in a check out line can get their wallets resettled so fast ...


You're one of those, are you?

I am never ceased to be amazed at how sloooow some people are in the check out line. The cashier rings up the purchases. It takes about 15 seconds. They say, "Your total is $34.89 (or whatever). And then it starts.

First the customer looks at the cashier like they're surprised that they have to pay for the merchandise and at that point starts to dig through their purse to find their money.

Of course, first they have to take thier purse off of their shoulder and lay it on the counter.

Then they have to unsnap the outside snap.

They take thier wallet out.

They unsnap their wallet.

They find the little flap where the checkbook is and unsnap that.

They take out the checkbook and ask the clerk again; "Now how much is it (when the number is displayed right in front of them on the screen)?

They start to write the check at an unbelievably slow pace, as if they were composing a great work of art.

They study the check closely, then hand it to the cashier. All the while the line is building with impatient customers who actually have somewhere to go that day.

The clerk takes the check & processes it in about 2 seconds, hands the customer the receit & says, "Thank you very much, please come again"

At this point the customer starts to balance their checkbook (not bothering to go off to the side to do this.). More foot tapping from impatient customers.

They finish balancing their checkbook, then, start the whole process of putting it all away.

First they put the checkbook in the little checkbook flap in the wallet.

They snap the snap.

They close the wallet.

Snap the snap.

Put the wallet in the purse.

Snap the snap.

Put the purse on their shoulder, turn around and she seems insulted that their are 15 angry customers in line glaring at her. Mind you, the clerk has already rung up the next customer in lines order and has been waiting for for her to get out of the way so the next customer can use the card scan thingie, pay for her merchandise and be on her way.

The lady adjusts her purse one more time and walks away.

You can be six deep in the line and even after all of that when you leave the store you'll still see that lady sloooowly loading her bags into her car. You throw your bags in your car, hop in and head for the exit. It is at this point the source of your angst finally gets her car loaded and started and, moving at a snails pace, cuts you off just enough that you have to wait for her, and she pulls up to the exit in front of you, blocking it. You wait for her to turn.....etc

: )



nirrti_rachelle
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02 Sep 2009, 1:39 pm

Yep, slow as a turtle stuck in molasses in the wintertime.

And it doesn't help that I work at a fast food place. For some reason, I'm fine on the cash register when it comes to speed. But if I'm preparing food, I just sort of develop my own time warp. There are so many steps that have to be done exactly right and with orders coming in constantly, it gets overwhelming.

My supervisor and coworkers say I move like an old lady but speeding up seems to be impossible and telling them about my AS would be useless. So I just reply (sort of truthfully), "That's because I am an old lady." :lol:


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02 Sep 2009, 1:43 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
I would suggest you have him get ready a lot sooner so he wouldn't have to hurry. Like have him get ready to go ahead of time and when it's time to go, just grab that stuff he needs and you guys are out of there.


That's how my parents saved their marriage. The worst thing you could ever do to my father is to say the words "hurry up!" to him. You'd have a yelling monster in front of you in no time. I grew up with these scandals. Then at some point, they made an arrangement: he'd always be ready before anyone else. End of problem.

However, when it's a spontaneous situation where you need to tell him to hurry up, you have to make a choice: either deal with the fact that he won't hurry, or deal with a horrendous meltdown from him, yelling, cursing, and all hell hangs loose.

The magic words to give my father a meltdown are "hurry up".

I have the same problem, but not nearly to that extreme. Either I start going more slowly on purpose as revenge for the "affront", or I hurry and I'm very cranky.

Oh, and have someone blow a horn for my dad or me to hurry up on the road - if you're interested in learning all the curse words there are in Spanish. :lol: :lol: :lol:

From my mother's experience: there's nothing to do to change how much it upsets us.


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02 Sep 2009, 2:09 pm

Greentea wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
I would suggest you have him get ready a lot sooner so he wouldn't have to hurry. Like have him get ready to go ahead of time and when it's time to go, just grab that stuff he needs and you guys are out of there.


That's how my parents saved their marriage. The worst thing you could ever do to my father is to say the words "hurry up!" to him. You'd have a yelling monster in front of you in no time. I grew up with these scandals. Then at some point, they made an arrangement: he'd always be ready before anyone else. End of problem.

However, when it's a spontaneous situation where you need to tell him to hurry up, you have to make a choice: either deal with the fact that he won't hurry, or deal with a horrendous meltdown from him, yelling, cursing, and all hell hangs loose.

The magic words to give my father a meltdown are "hurry up".

I have the same problem, but not nearly to that extreme. Either I start going more slowly on purpose as revenge for the "affront", or I hurry and I'm very cranky.

Oh, and have someone blow a horn for my dad or me to hurry up on the road - if you're interested in learning all the curse words there are in Spanish. :lol: :lol: :lol:

From my mother's experience: there's nothing to do to change how much it upsets us.



In that solution, if something comes up on short notice, you have to help your child look for things he or she needs like give them their shoes and put them on them, tie them, grab their coat and things they want for them and you're out the door. Problem solved. I notice how parents put shoes on their toddlers for them and their coats and stuff because they are too slow to do it themselves. But then as they get older, you expect them to do it quicker and when the child doesn't do it, the parents assume their kid must be lazy and he or she is doing it on purpose. So if they knew about AS, they would find other solutions like get ready a lot sooner, help their kid get ready so they aren't late. I call myself a slacker well because I feel I was lazy in my childhood because I was not a morning person. If the person is an adult, you can help them get the things they need so they can put them on and bam you're out the door. I used to tell my ex he can put his shoes on in my car by tying them up but he hated that solution. I dunno why, he just wanted excuses.

You must understand that sometimes people have no choice to leave at a certain time because what if you guys are catching a movie? It be unfair to be slow on purpose just to piss them off because the theater isn't going to hold the movie until you get there. They are just going to start it without you. Is it their fault that they have to hurry and want you to hurry too because of a movie is starting at a certain time? So the best solution would be, be known ahead of time you guys are going to a movie so you can get ready a lot sooner so they wouldn't have to get anxiety about you being too slow and them being late. Heck my ex did this to me by his slacking and he just didn't care about getting ready ahead of time so I told him I would start leaving him behind when I want to see a movie because I will not be late and miss the beginning of it. He also had problems with "hurry up" and rushing so i would try and make him get ready ahead of time so he is ready when it's time to go because he take too long with his shoes and his coat and getting things. I couldn't get why it take him that long so I assumed he did it on purpose. Well he was a game player anyway and a manipulator so how was I to know that was maybe genuine problem he had? I still don't understand how it takes someone a while to get their shoes on and their coat and get the things they need. Only way it take them awhile is if they had to look for it because they misplaced the item. I still think he was lazy anyway because he refused to get ready early and he always had excuses to not do them and he manipulate me by twisting my words around.



granatelli
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02 Sep 2009, 2:24 pm

I think people who are always late think that they are more important than anyone else and their time is more valuable than ours. It's selfish and inconsiderate. Wrap it however you like but really, it's rude to make others continually wait for you.



02 Sep 2009, 3:00 pm

granatelli wrote:
I think people who are always late think that they are more important than anyone else and their time is more valuable than ours. It's selfish and inconsiderate. Wrap it however you like but really, it's rude to make others continually wait for you.



Yes I agree with you there except for the always late part. Just because someone is always late doesn't mean they think they are more important or their time is more valuable than theirs, they maybe have poor timing concept? I would say they should leave early so they aren't late. You never know how bad traffic is going to be. That's why I always suggest for others to get ready early so they don't have to keep people waiting and causing them friction. My husband always gets ready early because he knows how I get when he doesn't hurry up, I get anxiety and I b***h and moan about it so he gets ready early and makes sure he has his keys and wallet and knows where they are so he can grab them before we leave. I'd hate to miss the bus and wait for the next one, especially if I have to be somewhere at a certain time. Only time he doesn't have to get ready early is if we are going somewhere like grocery shopping and there is no time limit on when you need to be there by so I let him take his time to get ready and then we leave. I also notice how he gets ready early for work and then he has some time to spare still after he is ready. He usually gets ready for his work around 3:30 and it done by four.



02 Sep 2009, 3:19 pm

granatelli wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
My husband and I are a bit like that, as well. I'll never figure out how people in a check out line can get their wallets resettled so fast ...


You're one of those, are you?

I am never ceased to be amazed at how sloooow some people are in the check out line. The cashier rings up the purchases. It takes about 15 seconds. They say, "Your total is $34.89 (or whatever). And then it starts.

First the customer looks at the cashier like they're surprised that they have to pay for the merchandise and at that point starts to dig through their purse to find their money.

Of course, first they have to take thier purse off of their shoulder and lay it on the counter.

Then they have to unsnap the outside snap.

They take thier wallet out.

They unsnap their wallet.

They find the little flap where the checkbook is and unsnap that.

They take out the checkbook and ask the clerk again; "Now how much is it (when the number is displayed right in front of them on the screen)?

They start to write the check at an unbelievably slow pace, as if they were composing a great work of art.

They study the check closely, then hand it to the cashier. All the while the line is building with impatient customers who actually have somewhere to go that day.

The clerk takes the check & processes it in about 2 seconds, hands the customer the receit & says, "Thank you very much, please come again"

At this point the customer starts to balance their checkbook (not bothering to go off to the side to do this.). More foot tapping from impatient customers.

They finish balancing their checkbook, then, start the whole process of putting it all away.

First they put the checkbook in the little checkbook flap in the wallet.

They snap the snap.

They close the wallet.

Snap the snap.

Put the wallet in the purse.

Snap the snap.

Put the purse on their shoulder, turn around and she seems insulted that their are 15 angry customers in line glaring at her. Mind you, the clerk has already rung up the next customer in lines order and has been waiting for for her to get out of the way so the next customer can use the card scan thingie, pay for her merchandise and be on her way.

The lady adjusts her purse one more time and walks away.

You can be six deep in the line and even after all of that when you leave the store you'll still see that lady sloooowly loading her bags into her car. You throw your bags in your car, hop in and head for the exit. It is at this point the source of your angst finally gets her car loaded and started and, moving at a snails pace, cuts you off just enough that you have to wait for her, and she pulls up to the exit in front of you, blocking it. You wait for her to turn.....etc

: )



My mom once got yelled at by a man at Kmart when she took out her checkbook and started writing and it left her in tears. This happened in 1994. Some people expect people to have their checks already written out before they start having the cashier ring up their items but I find that a joke because you have no idea what the total is going to be so how can you possibly write out a check? You have to write out the total and put down the total.

Also sometimes people don't even plan to write checks. I always use my debit card because it's quicker but one day I went grocery shopping and for some reason the machine couldn't read my card so I had to write a check. I had to ask for the total again because I couldn't remember so I wrote it on my check first and then made it out to the store and wrote down the total, dated it and signed it. Also I sometimes have difficulty finding things in my purse because I am horribly disorganized in it but I never have problems with getting out my ID or debit card because I keep it in the same spot while my checkbook gets buried in my junk in my purse I am always having to dig for it. It gets annoying. I do the same with my bus fare. I make sure I have my cash ready before the bus comes so I don't keep the driver waiting because he is on tight schedule. They usually start driving anyway right when you get on the bus and you are standing up front digging for change but I don't like standing on a moving bus looking in my purse for money or for my bus fare receipt so I always keep it in my flap.

However I do not balance my checkbook, I wait till I am done and maybe in my car or at home to do it. But I would put the cost in my transaction book and not even bother doing the math until I was out in my car. But if there were no people waiting, then that was different.



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02 Sep 2009, 6:13 pm

whitetiger wrote:
Hurrying makes my heart race, stresses me out, worries me to no end and leaves me on the edge of a meltdown. It always has.


THIS.

Someone else said on this forum: you know that feeling when you are late for something and you can't find your car keys? That's how we feel all the time.

Furthermore, I dont like when demands are made of me. Demands equal action and deadlines, action and deadlines equal anxiety worry and stress.

I work best when I make lists of what needs to be done, and finish them off at my own pace. I work best when I'm left alone.

Thank goodness for e-mail and text messaging! I absolutely hate when people call me or show up in person and give me some rush-rush thing that must be done NOW. That's NOT how I live my life, and I hate it when others drag me into their busy lives.



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02 Sep 2009, 8:00 pm

If you want to see me have an explosive rage, a surefire way is to demand that I do something quickly.

Telling me to hurry up is always counterproductive. It increases overwhelm. I'd work far better if I wasn't devoting mental energy to forcing down stress caused by someone saying 'Hurry up, hurry up.'


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02 Sep 2009, 8:27 pm

Ironically, I have been praised for my speed and accuracy at work. However, if I wake up at 6:30 a.m., I feel that I am late and behind. The cats typically wake me up around 4 a.m. and I go downstairs to get ready for my day at 6, even on weekends. If I sleep late, I feel like a slug.



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03 Sep 2009, 1:43 am

I found it hard to hurry as well.I had one supervisor at an old job I was at constantly telling me to hurry, I tried, but physically couldnt.In my mind I wanted to hurry but my body couldnt physically do it.Luckily I had other traits at the job,that prevented me from being laid off and got me a good review overall and I ended up getting a raise.It was a job stocking shelves in Vegreville before I moved to Red Deer for college.

Now, since I am not stocking shelves and I am doing price checks and know where everything is, I have no issue with the hurrying thing since going at my own pace usually involves walking or running which I could do And my AS traits with keeping everything in order and having some routine, actually HELPS with my work more than it does hinder.I only have an issue if 3 different cashiers call for a price check at once, but then again, even NTs cant do all 3 at once....no human can.


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03 Sep 2009, 1:49 am

Pretending to be in a game show helped. I had a job folding clean linen and my boss told me I had to work faster so I started to pretend I be in a game show and I pretended to fold as much linen as I can before the time runs out. Of course there was no time limit but I pretended there was. Then my boss said I was going too fast.



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03 Sep 2009, 1:50 am

I dont use cheques....I use mastercard if my debit card cant be read.Failing that...there's always this...

Image


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03 Sep 2009, 1:55 am

What was the image?



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03 Sep 2009, 2:50 am

Spokane_Girl wrote:
What was the image?



A twenty dollar bill (Canadian)


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