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Shebakoby
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11 Sep 2009, 2:00 am

...seriously, it does. This whole "Smile!" routine they put on you they think will do something, but even when it didn't hurt to smile, it did nothing.

But I was wondering. It is actually physically painful to smile, at least for me. Some difficulty with my cheek muscles and pain. Does anybody else have this problem?



Tory_canuck
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11 Sep 2009, 2:23 am

For me, it didnt hurt me physically to smile, but I just didn't want to smile (it was pointless) and couldnt because emotionally and mentally, I was not in a happy state...and therefore smiling would be out of the question...I did however smile and laugh and was happy when working with my dad in the house renovating or when I was not in school(high school...I do smile now in college).Being in Red Deer and not Vegreville anymore, I am not reminded constantly of the past and feel I can move on most of the time.


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bdhkhsfgk
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11 Sep 2009, 2:27 am

^ Agreed

I don't smile unless I feel like it, or someone tell me a joke.



polymathpoolplayer
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11 Sep 2009, 3:04 am

I don't smile unless I am reading something witty then it is a very fleeting thing. Just because I feel good does not mean I am necessarily going to waste energy on moving facial muscles. In short: the emotion is interior yet still real.

This has grave repercussions as people try to second-guess me and describe my mental state as "bored" or "unhappy", or tell me that if I don't smile they can't tell how I'm feeling - I'd like to know what gives them the right to know how I'm feeling? They'll just use it against me so a poker face is preferable. None of their damn business how I'm feeling.

When I was younger I used to smile to patronize them or make them feel better about my "disconnect" but now in my old age I can just tell them to stuff it. In fact it lets me have power over them.



Shebakoby
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11 Sep 2009, 3:48 am

this reminds me of a joke I made up.

You know how they say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, so then therefore you should smile?

Heck no! You should FROWN! It's better exercise and uses MORE muscles :P



ToughDiamond
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11 Sep 2009, 5:04 am

It doesn't hurt me to smile, but if I don't feel pleased then it's very difficult for me to hold a smile. I don't trust people who smile too much, and I tend to feel that people wouldn't trust me either if I were to do it.

I can't understand how so many people seem to get taken in by false smiles and other fake gestures. I'm not supposed to be able to read faces, but I often spot the fake smiles and I just think "why the heck can't you just show your true feelings on your face instead of trying to scam your way through life?"



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11 Sep 2009, 8:55 am

It doesn't physically hurt me to smile but I find it incredibly awkward and uncomfortable to do so. I find it near-impossible to smile on cue and can't hold it for long. If I try to hold a forced smile my lips start to twitch which just looks even worse. When I do manage them, my fake smiles never look even remotely real; I think they're more of a grimace than anything else. For me it's very hard to force any expression on cue, never mind just smiles and even when I'm actually feeling the emotion it rarely shows on my face.


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ToughDiamond
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11 Sep 2009, 9:53 am

Hala wrote:
my fake smiles never look even remotely real; I think they're more of a grimace than anything else.

That's what most (if not all) fake smiles look like to me. It's weird....Aspies are supposed to be poor at recognising facial cues, so why do I see what neurotypicals don't? Are they really taken in or do they just feel grateful that somebody goes to the trouble of pretending to be happy when they're not?



DJGK
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11 Sep 2009, 10:16 am

I find myself agreeing with the majority of these replies. 1) It can most certainly hurt for me to smile for a long period of time. The strain on the muscle to hold something their no use to making will start with muscle strain on the cheeks, but then follow down around to the lower jaw, and the back of the neck, and up into the temple region, which in time can cause a headache. So when I watch a really funny movie my face, and neck will hurt and I'll have a headache, but I'll find it worth the pain. 2) a smile most certainly does not come naturally to me. So often I think I'm smiling when I'm happy but in actuality no smile is on my face. This can cause all sorts of problems, as everyone will make comments like.. Greg.. I wish I could make you happy. I feel bad always being depressed." and while their saying stuff like that I feel like I'm smiling so then I'll start to think "what the hell what does this person want from me? can't they see I'm smiling?", but then I'll go to a mirror and see that in fact I'm not and instead my lips are just forming a straight line. 3) It also doesn't help with my friends trying to do things I like. To do. They always want to just play video games which I like to do but not all of the time. I'll tell them lets do something else like watch a movie, hike... something else, but then we'll go and do that, and they'll wonder... who are we doing this for? we seem to be having more fun then you are. They want me to be happy, can't see that I'm, don't believe me when I say I am, and then just help bad thinking nothing they can do can really make me happy.
4) I figure I'll bring this up on this discussion but does anyone here get actually sick when they are really happy?
In my life I've had about 15 times when I was just really happy. usually it will start off with me felling good about who I am etc, but then for some reason it just takes off, and I'll start to be happy about everything just greatly happy, but then colors start to seem brighter more vivid, and then comes the headache and nauseousness, and on 3 times I couldn't bring myself back down and I puked... needless to say that brought me back down quickly.



Hala
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11 Sep 2009, 10:25 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
Hala wrote:
my fake smiles never look even remotely real; I think they're more of a grimace than anything else.

That's what most (if not all) fake smiles look like to me. It's weird....Aspies are supposed to be poor at recognising facial cues, so why do I see what neurotypicals don't? Are they really taken in or do they just feel grateful that somebody goes to the trouble of pretending to be happy when they're not?


Perhaps it's because Aspies tend to analyse situations and events more than NTs do. Maybe instead of seeing the meaning behind an expression, like NTs probably do, we see the physical characteristics of the expression, possibly without being able to match it to an emotion. Maybe we calculate the time taken for the face to return to normal and the muscles used etc. and compare/analyse that information, whereas NTs may connect the smile to emotions, events and empathy instead. I don't know, instead it could be a matter of trust.

Personally, I'm not good at interpreting expressions at all. I'm not sure if I'm good at telling a fake smile from a real smile, partly because I tend to not look at people in the eye. :(


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11 Sep 2009, 10:47 am

Because we tend to smile less during the course of our lives in general the tone of the two muscles that control smiling is very poor hence the pain when you use them more than usual but because they are muscles they can easily improve. Just smile more often and it will get less painful. The pain you'll feel is actually your muscles building themselves and not anything to worry about same as when you feel stiff from doing weights or after a long/fast walk.



11 Sep 2009, 1:33 pm

I do it naturally but if I have to smile then it's hurts if I have to keep a smile on my face all the time. People used to tell me to smile when I was in high school or when I worked at my last job in Montana. Then they stopped. It was like they wanted me to have a smile on my face all the time and it's crazy. I don't see smiles on peoples faces except for when they have their pictures taken.



persian85033
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11 Sep 2009, 2:17 pm

It's hard to smile, especially a big smile. It doesn't hurt, I just can't do it if I'm not feeling it.



SingInSilence
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11 Sep 2009, 6:54 pm

I just never feel compelled to smile. I only do it when I'm laughing; aside from that, I just can't be bothered to concentrate on keeping a smile plastered on all the time. I wouldn't be able to focus on something important with the "smile" command on the brain.

The problem with this is that everyone (my mom, my doctor, customers at work) are always asking me what's wrong or telling me to smile.


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11 Sep 2009, 6:59 pm

I watch a lot of comedy. Good practice.



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11 Sep 2009, 8:12 pm

Yes, it can be painful when it's forced. I can hold it for a minute or two, no more. And also, when I try to smile because it's expected of me, my face starts twitching. People, strangers are always telling me to smile. I must look miserable but I'm not. It was really bad at work, especially as a waitress or a receptionist. I think it's unnatural to go around smiling all the time. Sometimes, I just give people a half smile, a quick turning up of one side of my mouth. Maybe that's more of a smirk. Good. They deserve a smirk for expecting me to smile because they say so.

:D < That didn't hurt a bit. :lol: