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27 Sep 2009, 7:48 pm

It doesn't happen often because I don't usually express my feelings, however, on the rare occasion I do become visibly emotional, the feeling is only exacerbated when someone tries to comfort me. I know they are trying to be nice and all but it takes everything within me to not shout "Just leave me the f#% alone!". :evil:

Probably one of the reasons I find it difficult to comfort others as well, because if I were them I would prefer others to just walk away.


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Electric_Kite
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27 Sep 2009, 8:04 pm

The same with me.



leejosepho
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27 Sep 2009, 8:16 pm

Me too. Whether or not I might be upset, I cannot stand being comforted, pampered, petted or pursued.


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Maggiedoll
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27 Sep 2009, 9:26 pm

I guess it depends on the situation. Like, if I'm upset because people don't like me, then being alone is unlikely to help.. But if I'm overwhelmed, a lot of times I need to be alone.

On the other hand, being told "I'll give you some space unless you say otherwise" IS a great comfort. Leaving somebody alone when there upset doesn't necessarily exclude giving comfort. :?



Tim_Tex
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27 Sep 2009, 9:34 pm

I don't have this issue.


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DarrylZero
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27 Sep 2009, 9:59 pm

I don't know how I am with regard to being comforted. The only time I can recall being comforted was at my father's funeral, but for the most part I felt numb the whole time. Otherwise, the few times I've been visibly upset (as far as I can tell) around others there was no effort on their part to comfort me (as far as I can tell). They just ignored me, which hurt, and made me even more upset. The last time this happened the apparent apathy was what led me down the path to a meltdown. I don't know if any attempt to comfort me would've helped or made things worse, but I think what Maggiedoll said about someone saying "I'll give you some space unless you say otherwise" would show they care without being smothering.

I have one friend, and she's never really been in a position to provide comfort. I usually talk to her or write her about what's been bothering me after the fact, when I don't really need comforting anymore, at which point she is very supportive and reassuring. Unfortunately, I've been there when she's been upset and I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing. I didn't know about AS at the time, so it just left me feeling utterly useless (not that my AS diagnosis changed how worthless I felt about that situation). I think she understood, even then, that I have difficulty with this.



Dancyclancy
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27 Sep 2009, 11:06 pm

Can't remember being comforted. Maybe I give off strange vibes that people are not able to read me at all. I think I relate things in a matter of fact way and others don't know how to react .
It is really crap when someone close dies and you go back to work a day or two after the funeral and everyone avoids you like the plague, especially if they knew the dead person.
I hate it when/if my partner tries to comfort me and I feel that he has employed more of a sexual tenor to comfort than what I would call "supportive comfort".
With others I feel really awkward offering comfort. Both in the act of attempting to comfort and in the feeling that they won't want comfort from ME. Like I'm not worthy or something.
It is possible that I wouldn't accept comfort as a child and/or that I was never offered comfort as a child.... I don't know!!
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whitetiger
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27 Sep 2009, 11:10 pm

I don't have this issue either. Then again, my spiritual/psychological training has taught me that it is MY job to comfort myself, not someone else. I need to do all in my power to comfort myself before accepting the help of another.


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