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elf_1half
Blue Jay
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03 Oct 2009, 9:13 am

I'm shy. I always assumed my difficulty in social situations was because of shyness but as I got older I realized there was more to it than that.

I'm also introverted. I like socializing with small groups of friends but time to myself is very important to me. Socializing exhausts me, if I'm around people too often and don't get my space I tend to 'shut down'.



Woodpeace
Velociraptor
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03 Oct 2009, 10:11 am

I am introverted, but don't know if I am shy.



TouchVanDerBoom
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03 Oct 2009, 10:29 am

I'm not shy at all. I get anxious in certain sorts of situations but not shy as such.

As a little kid I was quite quiet because I hadn't learned the rules of the world yet. At high school I was very extroverted, because I was popular (within a certain geeky, artsy crowd) and had lots of interest from boys. I got more and more extrovert as I got older, more and more extreme in my dress and demeanor and sadly less and less popular.

After school I got a lot more anxious because I'd been thrown out into a place I didn't understand. But I still wasn't shy. I loved singing in front of people and getting attention. As I gained weight however I retreated into myself, got a lot more introverted and insular. These days when I come across shy it's more that my shame over how I look makes anxious about how people will perceive me. Either that or if I'm in unfamiliar situations I have no experience of, the old aspie thing.



ColdBlooded
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03 Oct 2009, 10:51 am

I used to be considered "shy" all the time as a kid... Although i always hated it, because, even though i didn't talk to most people much, i didn't think i was actually fearful of it and i didn't understand what exactly it was that i was doing wrong. I just didn't usually know what to say to people, or sometimes even that i was expected to say anything at all, so i ended up not saying much to most people except for my family and a few friends(with neighborhood kids i was actually quite bossy at times, though). I think as i moved into my teen years that being unsure of how to interact with peers definitely turned into extreme shyness though. After being on antidepressants i got much less anxious about interacting with people.. so i don't think i would consider myself shy nowadays, although some people might still see me as "shy" at times when i don't know how to join in to group conversations. But i work around people and actually do start conversations a lot now. It's usually just brining up something random over and over again to different people, though. Yesterday's biggest conversation starter for me was something along the lines of "have you seen any lizards outside today? I saw two baby anoles as i was coming in to work today!" said to at least 5 different people. But it still gets me talking. I do still ge anxious around people when there's a lot of people around me at once, if i'm not sure that i understood something, and stuff like that... quite often at work, really... so there's still a significant amount of people-related anxiety there.. But not as much as i used to have, or enough to keep me from interacting with others in the ways that i am capable of. There are certain situations that i try to avoid, but i sometimes blurt out things and sometimes even talk too much when i feel like talking.. And i certainly don't appear "shy" then.



MONKEY
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03 Oct 2009, 1:06 pm

Yes, painfully so.


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Homer_Bob
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03 Oct 2009, 1:30 pm

Am I shy? Hell, Yes!! !! I'm about as shy as it gets and I hate it! I've been shy for pretty much my whole life and the aspergers pretty much is the biggest reason why. People keep saying that I'll grow out of it but little do they know I have a neurological disorder that's incurable. I'll just have to pretend that I'm normal and fit into society the best I can.



Ruchard
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03 Oct 2009, 1:33 pm

I am not shy I just don't like being around people all that much I like being bymyself.



SpongeBobRocksMao
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03 Oct 2009, 4:34 pm

Definitely yes! I must admit it's getting better and I'm socialising more, but it's still quite bad.


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berk222
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03 Oct 2009, 6:29 pm

I see most people with asperger are like me. But some people are not shy too.I think when we grow up we had so many social problems and we didnt understand why.W e had so many difficult situations and that makes our personallty different and not so confident.I think shyness comes from lack of confident.



anahita
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04 Oct 2009, 9:20 am

I don’t think I am a shy person . I just don’t understand people their gesture their conversation ,jokes… and it puts me far from them and it all the time mistaken with shyness



TheCurs
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04 Oct 2009, 1:01 pm

Others who know me would probably say I was shy but if I struggle in a social situation its usually due to anxiety or, more to the point, simply not knowing what to say and do. At parties or within a larger group of friends I will usually withdraw more noticeably and be more visibly anxsious but I don't really think of this as shyness. In most cases I want to participate, just don't know how and overtime I've recognised that this is the cause of my social anxiety because I feel others misunderstand this as being shy, uninterested, miserable or whatever.


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Aimless
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04 Oct 2009, 1:39 pm

I also think of the difference between introversion and extroversion as being how you gather your psychic strength. I am introverted and that's why socializing makes me feel drained. Extroverts feel energized by the same thing that fatigues me. I remember seeing a news magazine show years before Asperger's was a diagnosable condition and they were speculating whether people were born shy. They demonstrated how some babies were disturbed by sudden sharp noises and some were not. They were saying some babies needed to observe before they were comfortable with something. There was one little girl they spoke about who would not talk above a whisper at school but would be fine at home. I wonder if these kids would be diagnosed with autism today. When I was a child I was keenly shy and felt my separateness like curse. I don't think it was entirely fear of rejection because I can remember thinking that I didn't understand how the other people knew what to do and I didn't. Being a bartender helped me with small talk and I learned to recognize it's value. The analogy I make is it's like priming a pump. Still I do enough to get by only because it's not my natural way. Now as an adult I feel less shy, because being accepted into a group matters less to me but my introversion is still part of my psychological make up.



Magicfly
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04 Oct 2009, 1:59 pm

I am more shy as an adult than I ever was as a child, I think much of it has come from a lifetime of social interacting, I never felt the need to be as guarded about who I am back when I was a kid, these days I limit my social contact. I don't overly enjoy it, although I don't mind people-watching as much. I would just rather not be involved directly.



AngryJessman
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05 Oct 2009, 6:53 am

during school times i was introverted and shy, since ive used antidepressants im the opposite, and my GP reckons TOO extroverted and hyper, wat an arsmole he took em away an now im not that happy either! well i was a sort of hyper happy, but still....



Nightsun
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05 Oct 2009, 7:24 am

I'm not shy but I was introverted.


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sartresue
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05 Oct 2009, 7:31 am

Shy and Nervous? topic

I remember these words from a song by Kim Mitchell in the 80s entitled "Patio Lanterns." Kind of a cute song with references to adolescent awkwardness of the NT kind.

I am wondering if there is a confusion between shyness and timidity. As a child I tried to be invisible because I worried about the bullies. But I was not shy, as such, as I paraded my eccentricities around. I guess I was a little bundle of contradictions. :P Somehow, those bullies were attracted to my differences, and ties to intimidate me into submission. I think acting out was a way of me defying them. I guess I always had that strong personality, and i am certainly glad I have it now. :twisted:


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