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princesseli
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29 Oct 2009, 2:44 am

Its kinda fustrating that I get treated like a child adults or even people my age. When adults are trying to be nice and understanding, I end up getting treated like Im younger then I am. On the otherhand I think sometimes I almost ask for it inadvertently because of the way I come across. I come across as very shy, mild mannered, ackward, and immature. It still gets annoying.
Last year I was in a class with a lab component. The TA treated me like a 5 year old, seriously. Whenever she would approach me her tone of voice would change. I felt almost disrespected espcially since shes the same age as me. She didnt treat anyone else like she treated me. In another instance, I know the disabilities coordinator. She asked me the other day how I was doing. I said stressed, not an unusual responce for a student. She still responded to me like I was in elementary school.
Does anyone else get treated like a child even though your not still a child?



Friskeygirl
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29 Oct 2009, 3:10 am

I am still treated as a child, and have been called that too my face a few times in that past few weeks, it like they use it like a slap in the face
to make it hurt, it was the reason for a bad meltdown a few weeks back, where I wanted to hurt myself, I am glad I stopped before it got bad.



Who_Am_I
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29 Oct 2009, 3:10 am

People kind of do that to me. I get a lot of respect for the things that I'm good at, but at the same time they give the impression that they think I'm very young and that I need looking after. I look young, and my body language is more like a six-year-olds than someone my age, so I can see why people would think of me as being young.


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Orwell
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29 Oct 2009, 3:27 am

People in the disability office at my uni are horrible. They address me precisely as a kindergartner teacher would address a particularly slow-witted 5-year-old. The slower speech, the higher-pitched, softer voice, the wide eyes, the extremely excessive and insistent eye contact, the persistent nodding and other body language... all of it is the behaviour of someone who believes they are addressing a mental inferior. And these people have scrutinized my IQ test results; they know I am (quite a bit) more intelligent than they are.


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Kris94
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29 Oct 2009, 5:12 am

Last time someone did that to me I punched them :mrgreen:
hasnt happened since :D


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flamingshorts
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29 Oct 2009, 5:26 am

Kris94 wrote:
Last time someone did that to me I punched them :mrgreen:
hasnt happened since :D


I like your style. However I suggest just exploding verbally.
The "treat like a child" is a form of put-down and I think has as its source the same observations that are the source of bullying that is common for us. That is it is bullying with sugar-coating.

If it morphs into outright disrespect and condescention then cut that person out of your life entirely. No relationship is better than an abusive one.



Keeno
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29 Oct 2009, 7:45 am

I seem to be getting treated like a child much, much less often nowadays, for the simple reason I'm not around the church nearly as much. I'm on the point of verbally exploding myself, with some of the more sanctimonious, pious, outwardly holy idiots at church, who are the very ones who tend to speak to me like I'm a child.



Lene
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29 Oct 2009, 8:20 am

People often treat others certain ways depending on how they act; if you act in a way that is perceived as 'childish', they will automatically categorise you as a child, no matter what your age. To quote my mum, "you'll be treated like a grown-up when you act like one".

If being treated this way annoys you, then try to see how they act differently and follow their example. Otherwise, just ignore it.

I know some people who talk to me like I am younger than they are; it actually doesn't bother me. They aren't doing it to be horrible, they just think I'm socially immature and, to be honest, sometimes I am. I've accepted that I don't know all the rules at this moment in time, and I'd rather be given some slack (even if it involves a silly voice) than have people getting offended and confused by my words or actions.

Some people talk down to others as a matter of course; it's not personal, it's just how they cope with their own self-esteem issues.



AmberEyes
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29 Oct 2009, 2:29 pm

Hmmm…

This is a very interesting point.

I was spoken to like a very stupid child by some people when I was labelled.
I was spoken to as if I was incapable of thinking basic thoughts.

When the label was removed (or people were unaware), some people treated me like a child far less.

Also people who have similar interests to me or have personalities similar to my own tend to treat me on more equal terms.

There were some very nice people who treated me as an equal human being. These people were very friendly and very understanding because they just accepted me as I was, even though they were unaware of AS. When I took things to seriously, they explained that they were only ‘teasing’ me in a playful way. They also laughed with my faux pas and not at them. They didn’t mind me double checking phrases with them. I got the impression that they really enjoyed talking with me. They thought that I was a humourous person to be with and were smiling, even when I didn’t intentionally mean to make a joke. They also found some of the help that I provided useful when they asked me for help.

It was only when I was under severe stress, crowding or made faux pas that I was spoken to like a child again.

At one point, I was being shunted around and being ‘baby sat’ by someone. This person was concerned about me and had to walk me through my meeting up with someone else. This person would remind me at regular intervals about my ‘appointment’ with the other person. She kept telling me to do X, Y and Z, which I probably wouldn’t have done if she hadn’t reminded me. Nobody had ever explicitly told me to do all of these things before, so I felt incredibly stupid. I honestly didn’t feel like an adult at all. I felt thoroughly embarrassed and helpless. I was ashamed of not knowing things that people hadn't told me.

All of these things seemed very new to me and completely unlike how I’d been told to approach life. It was as if this other person had a completely different outlook and philosophy. It was sort of frightening. I found that I couldn’t keep up with the demands of doing X and Y, let alone Z. It all seemed very peculiar and happening far too fast.



_Square_Peg_
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29 Oct 2009, 2:38 pm

I dunno.
Sometimes I feel like someone talks to me like I'm a child, but then I try to remind myself that they're just giving me information. They're talking slowly and precisely so I'll know what to do.
The only person who I felt was deliberately talking down to me was my step-mother.



anxiety25
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29 Oct 2009, 2:46 pm

I'm addressed as a child quite often, or reminded of things quite constantly and feel childish or like I'm being seen as incapable of understanding.

I like it when people phrase things differently for me, or pause between thoughts, but some tell me that they are doing it for me. Kind of like "look what I'm doing for you to help you", all proud of themselves, but it makes me feel like a little kid... probably because they are taking a whole new approach, and anything like that is often just associated with how to deal with children. "If this doesn't work for your child, try it from this approach... not all children are the same, therefore not all of them learn the same ways."

I think it could be a subconscious thing that I respond to in those thoughts. I get pretty upset a lot of the time, and if someone keeps telling me what I need to do over and over, or reminds me constantly, I get very angry... but later I realize that I'm extra frustrated because I know I won't do things without that constant "supervision".


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07 Nov 2009, 3:12 am

It depend on how its done.

I guess I am used to it on one paw,
on the other paw if it is done to
insult me on purpose or to throw
a stupid at me, then I don't like it.

If they are doing it in a nice way,
a kind voice, that is ok.

It is when people talk mean to me that
makes me have tantrums or seizures,
I think I'd rather put up with someone
"pouring it on a little thick" whilst not being
purposely insulting, than someone
beeing mean and causing me to malfunction



Followthereaper90
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07 Nov 2009, 6:02 am

yes i get this lot even im more inteligent then most people here what it comes to computers and stuff i get lot of stuff that tells me im being immature im just sosially ret*d :(
there has also this company called helps on that is basically joke "80€ for securing wifi?" 50€ for isntalling usb stick???
yet i have send emails reguesting job and they dont bother answerring em...prob they are REALLY stupid datanomes/they think no-one cant do those :lol:


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Ebonwinter
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07 Nov 2009, 7:11 am

I feel you on that I hate being treated like a child even when I'm roughly the same age as the person not to mention I'm far more mature than my peers of similar age



CockneyRebel
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07 Nov 2009, 7:24 am

I get treated like a child, a fair bit. I have a shy way of looking at people through the corners of my eyes. I have the body language of a small child. I cry when things get to be too much for me, no matter what my surroundings are. I'm also a larger adult who has an innocent face with a hint of sadness, giving off the appearance of a chubby, overgrown 5 year old. Of course people are going to treat me like a child. I'm also very unworldly, as well. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'd rather be everybody's darling, than have people yelling at me and expecting too much of me, and having people use me as a scapegoat for their worldly problems.


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Laney2005
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07 Nov 2009, 10:53 am

I either get treated like a small child or like an exceptionally bright person, depending on who I'm dealing with. I think it's because I have the emotional maturity of a 9-year-old most of the time, but function in the genius range intellectually. Well-educated people treat me almost like an equal, while people around my own age, day-to-day people (like the checker at Wal-Mart) and children treat me like a child. Children really, really like me for some reason.

I am not sure what impression I give off to most people that makes them treat me strangely. Probably an odd combination of vulnerability and intelligence, which would fit. Maybe it's that difference between EQ and IQ. But it can get really annoying sometimes.


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