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KT67
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29 May 2020, 3:02 pm

First of all, I'm what used to be called Asperger's and it's vague at that. I'm diagnosed but with online tests sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not. So I get that my experience would be different to someone at the extreme end.

But I'm glad I'm autistic.

I'm glad I've got a nerdy kind of personality that loves to pick up facts. I'm glad I have hobbies I can do on my own. I haven't been lonely or bored (except doing some tedious essays/job applications) since childhood. I do hate having light sensitivity but I love that I'm able to see intricate details on things which other people don't notice, same goes with taste sensitivity and my absolute love of foods I love. I'm glad I have my specialist interests.

This pandemic has really brought it home to me that I'm glad of it. Cos I can cope socially on my own. And I don't get bored, if I'm unoccupied I find something to occupy my own mind.

It worries me that other people won't get to have this experience in the future. That we'll find a 'cure' for autism before we find a way to incorporate autistic people with my skills (focus, learning, motivation, independence, ability to see/hear/feel/taste better than others) into society. It upsets me that someone out there might be just like me but unhappy because society has told them to be different to how they are naturally.

Personally, I'm autistic and proud. Not of 'overcoming autism' either. I'm proud I think the way I do. It keeps my family safe.


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AprilR
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29 May 2020, 4:36 pm

I've come a long way before feeling like this, but i feel the same. I used to try to change myself to fit in to people's expectations and mimic other people but lately i have come to understand that i miss my authentic autistic self since i feel like i had a sense of "self" in the past.
I also like being in my own little world, studying, learning different languages, reading and watching movies. The little socialization i need i get from my parents and one of my friends. Relationships other than that require too much unknown stuff and responsibilities.



Starlight2001
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29 May 2020, 4:49 pm

I'm glad some of us are happy. I'm almost always lonely whether there's a pandemic or not. People outside my immediate family just don't want to talk to me.



AprilR
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29 May 2020, 5:05 pm

Starlight2001 wrote:
I'm glad some of us are happy. I'm almost always lonely whether there's a pandemic or not. People outside my immediate family just don't want to talk to me.



Same, the pandemic didn't change my life much really. It's been at least 2 months since i went out but i feel very content.
I am sorry that people seem to exclude you, but realistically this isn't your fault and you do not deserve to feel bad over it. Of course feelings are not under your control, but if you try to think that you are not to blame for these things in your life, it may ease the negative feelings a bit.



Starlight2001
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29 May 2020, 5:16 pm

Thank you. If you ever want to talk I'm usually available. It's why I joined this site.



AprilR
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29 May 2020, 5:23 pm

Of course, i would be glad to! And welcome to WP!



blazingstar
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29 May 2020, 5:29 pm

I don’t know that I would express it the same way, but I’m glad to be who I am and that includes many autistic traits such as seeing patterns, caring about the truth and integrity, being happy when alone. I don’t think we can separate out different pieces of ourselves.


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KT67
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29 May 2020, 5:33 pm

Yeah what I mean by not feeling lonely is, I don't mind being alone.

Maybe I'd be different if my parents (actual parents mum and stepdad) pushed me away or my granddad but apart from that, I don't care if they do or not. I'm better off on my own.

It's sad that people need others and others push them away.


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Starlight2001
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29 May 2020, 6:24 pm

AprilR wrote:
Of course, i would be glad to! And welcome to WP!

I'm willing to talk but I just don't know what to say. Maybe we could compare interests. does that PM button on the bottom of the posts mean private messages? That might be better to use than the middle of a thread if you want to do that.



asdgirl75
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29 May 2020, 7:10 pm

I support you with all my heart. I personally feel that autism can be a blessing and a curse at the same time. I remember I had a very good therapist in my childhood for almost 9 years and she emphasized that I shouldn't want to get rid of my autism and that it makes me special. I believe so too.



Starlight2001
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29 May 2020, 8:00 pm

@AprilR I saw your PM and responded to it but it looks like my response never left the outbox. Do you know what to do?



KT67
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30 May 2020, 3:39 am

And mum says she 'misses' granddad.

Which is weird to me.

Cos she speaks to him every single night on the phone.

Last time I missed someone it was her. Cos I was 11 and school would only let us use the phone once on our holiday away and I'd already called her and it was days til I'd see her again :( So I actively didn't have her in any way.


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ImagineDragons
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30 May 2020, 3:48 am

blazingstar wrote:
I don’t know that I would express it the same way, but I’m glad to be who I am and that includes many autistic traits such as seeing patterns, caring about the truth and integrity, being happy when alone. I don’t think we can separate out different pieces of ourselves.

^ this ^



ImagineDragons
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30 May 2020, 3:50 am

I still regard myself as Aspergers and probably always will ..



KT67
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30 May 2020, 6:11 am

I think that's probably where the confusion comes in between those who hate being autistic and those who don't. We ought to be allowed to call ourselves aspie if we want.

And personally I don't really think aspie is a disability just a way of thinking which doesn't 'work' in a hyper social world which is what the mid/late 20th century and the 21st century have been.

Apart from sensory sensitivities which is now being considered it's own 'thing' of SSD.


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carlos55
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30 May 2020, 9:39 am

Well it’s good you’ve overcome your problems.

There officially isn’t such thing as Aspergers anymore we’re all lumped together under the autism umbrella from the most capable to those severely disabled who won’t live past 36.

Many advocates try to pretend severe autism does not exist or downplay the disorders but their official diagnosis is severe autism , even without ID symptoms can be severely life restricting with limited means of societal accommodations

Most of these severely impacted people can’t speak, will never know living independently, traveling and exploring the world, falling in love, work/career and will die before middle age.

Many including myself believe it’s very selfish to include these people in a blanket no cure wish.

I personally would like a cure for autism to end my personal difficulties even though they are mild, but I believe in personal choice if you’re happy the way you are you’re old enough to say no to any treatment that potentially comes along in the future. :)