Post a silly example of taking something literally

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I don't know why I do it, but every time someone asks me "what's up?," I take it literally and either say the opposite of down; or point up. They think I am trying to be funny or a smartass, but I am not. I just tend to take it literally. I misinterpret things all the time. Can't think of anything else though.

Quite recently a teacher came into my classroom and said to me "Oh, are your ears burning?" to which I responded "Why, are they red?" and then my teacher gave me a funny look and walked off.

I realised later on that she meant that she was talking about me before she came in.

I wouldn't get that one either. That would have been my response as well.

Years ago, I lived and worked with a friend family. One day the father bullied their son a little, and the mother said that he should be punished - let's remove his favourite game from the computer. I did that!

Later I found out that it was only a joke. Well, the game was small and fast to reinstall.

I remember when I was about 4 years old, it was bath time. I hated the whole, stripping off thing and so as mum tried to pull all my clothes off I wriggled and screamed. After about 10 minutes, only my trousers were off and so she gave up. On the way out she muttered, 'fine then, get in the bath with your clothes on...'

And I got straight into the bath...

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

someone told me to press "i" on the remote. I couldn't find it, I was looking for the little picture of eye.
I'm not English, so they sound similar to me.

I remember being in biology and our teacher was telling us to wear safety goggles and he told us why. He said he didn't make his other students wear them in his other class and after school Mr. E came in and caught him with his pants pulled down. I wondered why he had them pulled down in his classroom when he could have done it in the bathroom so I asked him why did he have them down. A few kids laughed and so did my aid and this girl said he didn't mean that and my aid said it was a figure of speech. The teacher said he was just caught was all. Then I wondered how was he caught after school if there was no class. I still don't get it.

When I was five, my mom said "You're an as*hole!" to my dad...I got really shocked! "omg! my father is not human!"

When I was six, I had just got off the school bus and I was walking along this girl who also rode my bus. I am staring at the books in her arms and then she yells "Stop dragging me nuts." I look behind her and see there are no nuts she is dragging. So I say "No you're not" and she says "You are dragging me nuts" and I say again "I am not" and she says "yes you are" and we both argue on the way to class about me dragging her nuts.

My mum once said, "Always be yourself, no matter what!"

I thought that I'd try it out, at the Christmas party at my clubhouse, last night. I popped a Kinks CD into the CD player in the lounge and played, 'You Really Got Me'. Half of the people who were 50+ years old were glaring at me. I didn't care. I loved the attention. They can continue to glare at me, all they want. The Christmas CD ended, anyways. I said, "Thank you for letting me be myself." and put the Christmas CD back in and started it up, again.

When I was a little kid, my parents made my play 'T-Ball' - and with my lack of athletic ability, I was the "pitcher" for the team... the coach explained that when the ball went back to the pitcher, then the runners had to stop. First time we played, the first hitter knocked the ball right to me. I stood there and could not understand why the kids kept running. *shakes head* Literal.


M.

I read the headline: Two teen agers shot in the auditorium. I went to an anatomy book to find out what part of the body is the auditorium. Then I finally caught on.

ruveyn

Doing it with a Tiger is a seriously mental thing to do, not to mention gross in the extreme!

even standing next to an un-caged Tiger that has grown up with regular human contact is tantamount to madness (as Siegfried and Roy discovered)

Once i had close friend and i read in a "self help" book (if "self help" means make things WORSE i hit the jackpot!!) that her behavior was wrong and that i should ditch her.

I did what the book said and lost maybe by best ever friend - i couldn't have met anyone more honest, loyal, forgiving and down to earth and she was/ is a better person as i will ever meet or could hope to be!!

2 years later i realized i was wrong and have tried to get back in touch with her but she doesn't even really want to be mates online, let alone be friends in real life

She was my true life long partner whom i had waited what seemed like an eternity to find and because of these blasted gurus and therapists i lost touch with her for no reason, even though she did me more good in 5 months that a life time of pills, books and "helpful advice could ever do!!

This is weird, but.....


Two or three years ago, I was getting on the bus to go home when some guy came up to me & said "The boys are in the forest playing with the wood nymphs" or something very similar to that &, at first, I was actually believing it could be true. My mind hadn't automatically ruled it out . Then he said "You shouldn't believe everything someone tells you." It's obvious to me now, that the guy had schizophrenia or something, but at the time, for some odd reason, I was actually thinking that there was a possibility that there was a forest near me I didn't know about & boys were there playing with wood nymphs