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johanstruijk82
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07 Feb 2010, 9:23 am

Hey guys,

I'm wondering if this is common in AS. I have shut down all emotions now for the last 5 1/2 years and it makes me very depressed. I shut them down after a LOT of bullying and a severe trauma. Is this common in AS? Do many aspies shut down their emotions? If so, how do you get them back? I tried about everything to get them back, normal functioning, praying, therapies and I just don't get them back because I don't feel save with myself (because I never defended myself for the bullies I think) and I didn't accept myself.


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Philologos
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07 Feb 2010, 9:36 am

5.5 years is a long time. I have rarely [in social contexts] been able to keep emotions down long - too many people shooting emotions at me and yelling "Heads up". But I have come close. My main goal is not so much to suppress them as to Tennessee alley dam them so they flow less devastatingly.

Years back in the UK I knew a girl - nice, though no romantic candidate - of whom I saw as much as possible - BECAUSE while in her presence - whatever wavelength she broadcast on - I could not feel ANY emotion whatever. Damped it all down, and back then I desperately neecded that.



ptown
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07 Feb 2010, 9:49 am

falling in love might bring your emotions back.



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07 Feb 2010, 10:06 am

Out of curiousity, why do you feel you need these emotions so much?


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j0sh
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07 Feb 2010, 10:10 am

My emotions have been shut down for a while now too. I'm not sure how to get them to operate as normal, but I do find music helpful for bringing them to the surface. If I've been dealing with a lot of negative things, it helps me feel something and get the negatives stuff out.

Here's one of my favorites for doing this:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIBrprk_CNU&feature=PlayList&p=FFDB40A1C1370741&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=17[/youtube]



johanstruijk82
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07 Feb 2010, 10:33 am

Prosser wrote:
Out of curiousity, why do you feel you need these emotions so much?


hmm, because I think emotions are one of the most important things in life..


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johanstruijk82
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07 Feb 2010, 10:38 am

ptown wrote:
falling in love might bring your emotions back.


Well, the few times I fell in love I was happy for about 2 weeks, once 4 weeks max. I was really in love with one of my ex-girlfriends, but after two weeks I closed down again, I still loved her enormously but I couldn't feel it.


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Prosser
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07 Feb 2010, 10:52 am

I guess you gotta find something in life you feel passionate about, to really gain any emotional benefit... or something.
To answer you're initial question, I think Emotional shut down would be fairly common for people with AS. Without any further information, I would think you're best bet would be to try to gain happiness from things that used to make you happy before you shut down. Or have you already tried that?


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johanstruijk82
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07 Feb 2010, 10:55 am

Well, I know from myself that even when the present is extremely fun for me I still stay emotion-less, or have emotions for a few weeks max. :( and I searched so long for passions but without emotions I don't feel passionate about anything.


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Prosser
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07 Feb 2010, 10:56 am

Oh. Well there's always, um... medication?


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johanstruijk82
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07 Feb 2010, 11:49 am

Prosser wrote:
Oh. Well there's always, um... medication?


:) lol... i tried like 6-7 AD's, I'm now on effexor xr, seroquel and xanax xr, doesn't do anything....


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conan
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07 Feb 2010, 12:32 pm

is it that you have none or are not in touvh with them? two different things imo. until i was 15 or 16 i really did not consider that i had any emotions except anger. i have learnt to interpret them through my actions and now i just know what they are. It does not really sound like that is what is happening with you though.

Good luck



Ladarzak
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07 Feb 2010, 2:03 pm

When you say your emotions are shut down, you're not saying you have no reaction to anything, right? You still have preferences, attractions, repulsions? That's how it was and still often can be for me. I eventually feel something, but can't identify it.

I found it quite helpful to think of feelings and needs. They are linked. Here are a couple of lists to look at to help point the way. Sometimes a word can really trigger thoughts and memories for me:

http://www.cnvc.org/en/learn-online/fee ... -inventory
http://www.cnvc.org/en/learn-online/nee ... -inventory

Maybe it will be useful to you, too.



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07 Feb 2010, 8:30 pm

j0sh wrote:
My emotions have been shut down for a while now too. I'm not sure how to get them to operate as normal, but I do find music helpful for bringing them to the surface. If I've been dealing with a lot of negative things, it helps me feel something and get the negatives stuff out.be

Me too. My band of choice is Evermore. People may make fun of me for that but I don't care.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNCVyfWjsAw[/youtube]


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07 Feb 2010, 11:43 pm

I wear my emotions on my sleeve.


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ptown
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08 Feb 2010, 7:17 pm

can you please explain this to me. it might help me understand a friend a bit better; "I still loved her enormously but I couldn't feel it."