do you guys have problems getting someone to hang out with?

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au
Pileated woodpecker
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19 Feb 2010, 6:34 pm

i finally have someone to hang out with. it's been such a long time. any tips on maintaining this kind of friendship? they all seem to run away from me after hanging out once or a few times. what should i do for them to like me? i had a close friend in university and i was really sensitive towards her at first, but at the end i think i was careless and we don't talk anymore.



ottorocketforever
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19 Feb 2010, 6:51 pm

Making friends is hard, but don't give up. :)



Keifer
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19 Feb 2010, 6:53 pm

With my first good friends I did things with them that didn't require having to talk to them, like going to movies. I know that sounds like a copout, but it helps establish things in the begining.



au
Pileated woodpecker
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19 Feb 2010, 6:58 pm

Keifer wrote:
With my first good friends I did things with them that didn't require having to talk to them, like going to movies. I know that sounds like a copout, but it helps establish things in the begining.


well i do that, but that doesn't matter because i can't just watch movies with them forever.



CockneyRebel
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19 Feb 2010, 7:02 pm

I have two good friends that I like to hang out with. We go out for tea and coffee, and go to the mall. We have a lot of fun, together. My third *friend* said that she couldn't hang out with us, because we were too old for her. The ironic thing is that the character is two years older than I am.


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jc6chan
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19 Feb 2010, 7:04 pm

I had a good friend in first year university, too bad he switched programs and I rarely see him anymore.



Brittany2907
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19 Feb 2010, 7:49 pm

If they invite you somewhere then accept the offer and then one day in return you should invite them somewhere. It can be anywhere such as to a cafe for lunch, to your house, the beach, the movies or anywhere that you two agree sounds like it might be worth visiting. Just be nice to them and if they really want to be your friend, they will accept you and your differences. Have you told this person that you have an ASD? I'm not saying whether you should or you shouldn't but I told a new friend that I made recently about it and it clarified some things for her.


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auntblabby
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20 Feb 2010, 1:19 pm

all my life that has been something which has eluded me. as a child the only people who would tolerate me were older adults, kids my own age shunned me. so long ago i had to learn to cope with being alone. i had to learn how to like the reflection in the mirror, to be his buddy. that was the hardest thing.

at the ymca it seemed everybody was doing their own thing and not interested in socialization. it was awkward to go out alone in restaurants and such, so i learned to just stay home. i used to feel especially alone out amongst crowds, that bothered me more than clausterphobia or the fear of being trapped in the crowd. even now there is just no connection with folk my own age or younger. i don't know why it is that [much] older folk seem to "get" me, or at least just act civilly towards me. it has been this way from childhood onwards. i guess it is better this way, as being around people wears me out.



CockneyRebel
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20 Feb 2010, 1:39 pm

Not really. I use my 6th sense to figure out whether a person is a good fit for me, or not. If the person is patient enough to be a good friend, I seek them out, or let them come to me. The person is usually an average of 5 years older than me, but that doesn't bother me. I get along better with people older than myself, anyways. I'm not bothered by it. It just is.


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