Are you distracted by ideas?

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I want to write stories and create and be productive but i feel that I am being childish and arrogant and naive if i just write stories without reading other literature first. And i know by reading others crap that I am learning of many new things that will help my writing as well as my mind and soul in general. But I have such a trouble reading other peoples stuff. Every time i read some story I will find at many times I will see something interesting and start creating ideas based on that, not necessarily story ideas but interesting ideas none the less. And then i will realize that the last 4 lines I just read I didnt actually read. Now this s**t doesnt happen occasionally. It happens constantly. I wanna read but i wanna write NOW. I dont wanna wait around to write. I wanna write NOW. But I feel like a child scribbling due to my vast ignorence.

Anyone experiance anything similiar? Or have any ideas?

My advice to you is don't worry about it. Just write! Learn to go through the act of beginning something and taking it all the way to the end. That's the most difficult part.

You say: "childish and arrogant and naive"

Naive:
I find that as an artist, being naive can be a good thing. I find that the more I know about something, the more difficulty I have being original. A naive point of view can be a unique point of view. Let the emotions you feel drive you.
When I drive out to the desert and take photos, I don't want to know where I'm going. I don't want to know about the area I'm driving into. I want to see it all from the perspective of someone visiting a new planet for the first time. I just want to take in the lines and shapes and let them message my brain, and just hang loose. It's a LOT more fun that way...and because I'm having more fun, I'm being more productive.

Arrogant:
Well, I don't think you're being arrogant at all. You feel you have something to say and you want to express it. So just do it. You'll have plenty of time later to be arrogant once you become famous

Childish:
Ah, this is such a great word. I LOVE this word. Why? It describes the artist perfectly. Creating art or writing is like a child, going to play in a sandbox. That huge place in a child's mind where they can do anything they want. Well, adults have this too...and many of them relive the whole sandbox thing by becoming and artist or a writer...hmm, sounds like the thing you're afraid of being might be your biggest asset...hehe.

I wrote a poem (when I was kind of depressed and trying to figure out exactly who I was) which sums up my feelings towards all of this...


Walking through a very narrow
dry river bed

I wonder about myself and
what brings me here

And why I feel a need
to find importance

in all things away
from the human connection

But I'm sure this search
is somehow more vital

than any other I could ever
undertake

And I'm sure it's more
than pure escape

he says high on caffeine

and the heat too has its
effect

both trying to take me to where
we all want to be

and then I understand:

Back there I'm not the
seeker of life

waiting for gunshots
to wake me up

But here I have the guts
and strength

to be a young boy
all alone

dancing, dancing, dancing.

Thank you. I was hoping somewhere in the back of my mind that I might recieve the perfect encouragement, but I never dreamed I would really get it. Thank you.