What on earth?! Can some one please explain this nonsense?!

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Hello I am a 14 year old girl who lives in Melbourne. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at age 9. I always felt different from others since age 4. But I just didn't know what it was. And I often misinterpreted other's actions and words. A good example is when I was watching the Lady and the Tramp when I was about 5. They went to visit a restaurant that Tramp went to daily for his lunch. Tramp was so overjoyed to see Toni, the owner he liked very much, that he jumped on him wildly licking him. He jumped on the dog catcher too. This then led me to believe he was attacking Toni too.

Anyway, there is this boy who sits in my 3D art class at school. He was once was major teaser and bully of me. Still is in a way a teaser now. What happened was he was in this group of other boys that often used this unbearably irritating technique to get a reaction from me. Whenever they would see me they would say "Hi (my name) what's your name?" They said the answer in the question they just asked! This was done for a long time until the start of year 8. I tried to get one of them into trouble a few times but he just acted like he didn't know what we were on about. I developed a strong liking (crush) for this boy actually once. I was actually seeing things in him that weren't there. Once a fool always a fool. So I got over him. However, now he seems to be giving me these weird eyebrow lifts and I then react with sarcastically putting my lips in a kissing fit back. Just something I read on how to react. He always does this so I could react back in this way. One class, when I walked in he was just continuously looking at me and whispering something to his friend then did it again. He whispered to me "Come on, do this" He sounded desperate. I did it and then he said to him "See" Just in in general when I'm sitting quietly working on my clay model, he comes and makes some noise or says my name. I am pretty reserved. Yesterday he choose to sit right next to me. Kept on whistling quietly while looking at me. he wanted to strike up "small talk" Like "Hi how are you" He already has a girlfriend. They always be silly with each other and kiss. While I was working on my model, he said "Hey, hey watch this" Was trying to get me to stare at him and her kissing. But I ignored it. He does anything to get close to me. And at the end he just asked me "Handshake?" I refused. Because I assumed he would just trick me and pull it away. Then "Hug?" I was quite surprised. I replied "No" He asks "Why?" while looking at me directly in the eyes. I say "Because I said so" I don't like hugging much. But this was him and it would make me feel strange inside. I just wonder if he really did want one. So what is all this?

He's making a fool of you, trying to get you to act in a way that appears ret*d for the amusement of his friends and himself. It would probably be best if you ignore him when he does these things. He might act up a bit at first, but when it's clear that he's not going to get any more amusement from you he'll probably move on. If he doesn't then it's harrasment and time to get a teacher to intervene and dicipline the little turd.

It's just one of those things that happen at your age. People want to mock and tease anyone who's a little different. The boy is doing this to amuse his freinds, so the best thing is to ignore him. I remember well those days and the teasing and bullying that I was subjected to on a daily basis.
(By the way, well written. You don't write like a 14 year old.)

I'd be vicious with him.

i'd insult him at every go.

sorry i am a vengeful person
i have been treated like this when
I was your physical age.

refuse to look in his direction
or talk to him.

I'd call him "scumbag" but that
is just me.

or male shovinist works too

Don't let him make a fool out of you.

I agree with the rest of the posters. This boy is a jerk and you shouldn't waste another second of energy on him.

Sounds like a jerk to me. Ignore him and he'll probably go away.

I don't see much point trying to understand him, but he could be deepdown insecure and trying to hide it by making other people look silly.

Be cordial, but cold. That is what I do with my enemies; I give them nothing to accuse me of, and it doesn't give them the emotional reaction they're looking for.

Unfortunately, this is very rare. Studies indicate that bullies and narcissists actually have higher self-esteem than other people, which is why they feel like they have the right to treat others like crap.

I always did try too hard to see the good in people

Me too, learning that was absolutely heartbreaking for me. I am sure it is true for some people though.

Part of the problem is that you always hear people explain bullies in this way. I think in some way, it's supposed to make the person being bullied feel "empowered", or just raise their own self esteem in return. I'm really not sure though.

ProphessaM, you are likely going to public school, right? Public schools always have alot of brats, and the nicer kids, unfortunatly, get stuck with all of them sometimes. (I bet you're more disciplined then they are.)

Imagine what you are blowing kisses at. Would you blow kisses to a dirty, soiled toilet seat? I wouldn't think so. Why blow them to 'Mr. Sludge brains" who hands out the yuck?

That works in very few cases, if at all. However, I would at least agree here, because she is responding, and because of that responding he feels he can act abusive. Maybe even convinced himself that she would take it like a "good little" target. With that in mind....

Why does this "please feel sorry for your enimy' thing always get into the picture? I would think it's better for someone to feel for themselves, then think about "the facts" when they recovered.

Last edited by LiendaBalla on 05 Mar 2010, 2:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.

some bullies do feel bad in hindsight for their actions in the past and do apologize in the future.



Its logic that came out of Freudian psychology the 'projection' defense mechanism.

I am going to go against the grain and offer up another possibility.

He may have a crush on you. This crush is socially unacceptable because you are "the weird girl" so he has to hide it from his friends and make it seem like standard bullying. Why do I think this? Because his bullying has such an oddly interactive quality. It seems to be mostly attempts to get you to look at him or interact with him or even touch him, rather than attempts to destroy you. You don't give any anecdotes of him attempting to destroy your artwork (I think a bully who really wanted to hurt you would do that, given you are in an art class together). But you say that he demanded a handshake, then a hug. Maybe it would have been to do something hurtful when physically close. But I do find it odd.

I once had a bully who had a secret crush on me. He took every opportunity to make physical contact (shoving, pushing, grabbing) and always tried to make me notice some weird thing he was doing. When we were in our 20's I banged into him and he explained it all from an adult perspective. He had a massive crush on me but that was not permitted by his friends so he had to hide it under bullying. It is possible the same thing is going on here. I just find it odd that a bully would demand a hug. Or try to get you to watch his kissing technique. You even said "He does anything to get close to me". That right there makes me think he has a crush that is socially unacceptable to his friends.

Christ, I hope so. I've heard cases of this, so I know they exist, it's just that the majority seem to just be as*holes.





*nods*

oh i had to deal with these guys in high school. one even asked me if i wanted to be his girlfriend and i strictly refused. he even read a poem to me in front of the whole class. it was unbelievably aggravating.
i would keep ignoring him until he decides to straighten up.