You're not owed respect, Respect is earned

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Given we seem to be talking more about parent/child relationhshids we prpabaly are focusing on #2 and #3

#3 being the polite social tratment of the parent/child relationship

#2 being the the thing that both "grow" into

Everyone gets my respect but you have to lose it to not get it from me anymore.

The way of losing it is:

Say AS doesn't exist (unless you change your mind)
Question my diagnoses (unless you took it back)
Treat me bad (unless you apologize)
Be a jerk to others (not black and white because it depends)
Have disturbing opinions

I've thought about this, and a good way to earn respect, is to have respect for your elders.

All people are owed respect *unless they do something to not deserve it*.

In the case of parents, I wouldn't say they should earn respect, but I do think that if they behave in ways that don't deserve respect, for example acting without a rational perspective, being inconsistent, or ruled by emotions and ego, yes, that does mean they lose respect.

I do not have ASPD so to me, everyone gets #1.
Only my mother has #2 and I have #3 for nobody.

When it comes to parents I find it annoying when parents are under the belief of "do as I say, not as I do"

that expect children to behave nicely all the time towards authority figures, but if a child is playing sport (eg soccer or football whatever u call it) and the umpire awards a free kick to the other side, the parent abuses the umpire. and if the child is not given a starting position, the parent abuses the coach. and if the team loses the parent abuses their child. I mean, seriously IT IS JUST A GAME!
the ones that say "you should eat a healthy diet" but don't do so themselves.

If a parent does one thing and says another, then the child will lose respect for them because they will feel "why should I do what my mother tells me to do if she doesn't follow her own rules?"

My personal view is all people deserve respect and there is no need to earn it.
I perceive it as a fundamental human right.

Whenever my brothers and I call my mother out on that, she go "I'm a grown up."
Same as when our dad was cursing and we were not allowed to say bad words, my brother asked why does dad get to say them and we can't. She said "He's a grown up and he is being very naughty." Then she told us they were grown up words and we were too young to say them.

But she would sometimes lets us kids give her a punishment when she make a mistake. One time we grounded her from her favorite TV show Murder She Wrote. One time she told me to slap her because she made a mistake of hitting me.

Same, but to add, people can lose it by their actions. I don't think people can earn it back as far as I'm concerned though.

I'm of the whole, you don't do something that'd lose it, and if you do, tough luck, you've lost it for good. Perhaps I'm overly hard, but there's no "right" or "wrong" way to this.

I am usually a forgiving person so people can earn my respect back.

They have to do something bad or hurt me bad enough to not get it back.

Sometimes I can appreciate someone apologized but it doesn't fix up the issues. The damage had been done.

yes, I also see people can lost it by way of their actions, and earlier I was going to qualify that it starts as a basic human right but can indeed be lost.

I do believe people can earn it back however, and I am glad that I have in fact had the experience of losing the respect of others (during my years of alcoholism and homelessness and drug abuse) and I have been able to earn it back by virtue of an alteration in my attitudes and behaviours.

I was told I must respect my teachers but when I asked why they didn't respect me I was told I needed to earn it. Seems rather hypocrytical.

Agreed. No s**t it's hypocritical. *puke*

If you don't show respect to strangers by default and remain respectful unless they do something to deserve your scorn, then you are an arrogant dick and do nothing but create negative karma in the world.

SHOCK!



Even children (above the level of toddlers) can understand that an adult with more life experience than they have, who provides for their welfare, food and housing deserved to be heeded and obeyed without defiance and impudence. That is the very definition of respect.

I am not talking about unquestioningly cowering beneath someone who tortures you. Of course, children and teens often convince themselves that adults who make decisions on their behalf which they don't like, are being intentionally cruel. That's because they don't have enough life experience or maturity yet to determine what's best, safest or healthiest for them.



I believe I covered that with the phrase "basic human dignity and the sanctity of life".

You got it, PunkyKat. You have seen the contradiction that I see everyday. As you see these responsibility advocates have inconsistencies in their sayings and then they wonder why some children become disrespectful? You pointed out some of their contradictions.

Let's assume these advocates are right. I would reframe it this way.

1. The child owes certain people respect.

2. The child has to earn respect from certain people.

3. The child is owed respect by certain people as they progress in age.

4. The child continues to owe certain respect as they progress in age.

5. The child does not owe respect to certain people at different points of their life.

6. The child is not owed by respect by certain people during different points of their life.