Are my parents right?

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Is it really that important to dress very well in order to succeed?

I don't need to succeed socially with my peers. I spend most of my time socializing with people who are much older than me. However, I wish to be respected by both my peers and my teachers, and be taken seriously whenever I have something to say, as well as make me more desirable to the authority (eg. increase my chances of getting a job).

I would also like to express myself as someone who is a mature, intelligent, and approachable person. I feel that the style that would express who I am would be sophisticated, a little bit showy (in terms of the logos/decorations), but showing minimal sexual appeal.

I could go and do a fair amount of shopping. All of my clothes are pretty plain right now. But is plain and classic better considering the fact that I do not want to fit in? Or would it be better to be super stylish but spend a bit more time on my looks, like most other young adults my age?

Last edited by MathGirl on 13 Apr 2010, 8:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've worn some pretty unimpressive clothes and still did ok with friends. I've had some really bad social encounters when I dress up. It doesn't really matter what you wear. I sometimes dress up a little which at least makes the mother happy. When I dress up too much I feel fake and am not in the best mood, so I think it's actually counter productive. When I wear something that I feel comfortable in I feel confident.

if you haven't seen "The Devil Wears Prada"....

I've noticed here in Virginia when I have dressed in nice clothes, people have always treated me with more respect and are friendlier and more willing to help me. In Arizona, where it is more laid back and casual, there wasn't such a big difference. I would wear what you are comfortable wearing. I like to mix it up and wear a combination of casual and dressy clothes. Its a nice change for me. Certain times call for specific types of clothes. Whatever you wear (casual or dressy) always make sure you are comfortable wearing it.

Taupey

I pay no attention to such...superficial things. If by gaining success, one has to wear what's deemed as socially acceptable for that socioeconomic class, then no thanks, I don't want success.

I'm always going to be rocking my white singlets (usually stained too from work) and knee length shorts.

I dress up half of the time, because I like to dress up. As it warms up, I'm getting a little lazy about it, opting for jeans and a T-shirt, and eventually shorts. I like to dress up, in the colder months.

In most professional settings, absolutely yes.

Do what you want around your peer group, that's the time for slumming, but if you ever want to get a decent job, much less keep one, then how you present yourself is half the game. The other half is the social stuff we're already handicapped at, so always go in looking like a million bucks.

Once you see how good you look, you might actually learn to like it a little.

I think people tend to respond to you better if you look like you're already successful. For instance, if you were going to hire someone to do a job, like a home repair, you might hire someone who presented themselves as already having a good business record and satisfied clientele, rather than someone who looked like they were just working for their next beer run.

This!
And I would say that when you clothes fit well and flatter you they gove your self esteem a real boost too. It isn't being vain or fake to look nice- you are just allowing your outside to match your inside.

Well, it all depends on who you choose to be. If you want to isolate yourself, settle down, and do something for yourself, then that might be the best thing for you to do.

My special interest includes people and community activism, which, I guess, involves presenting the right image of myself to other people. Even though I'm quirky, I think that if I put my oddities in the right frame, they will be viewed in a positive light. This will also be part of my plan to spread positive awareness about Asperger's.

My mom thinks that I should hide my AS as well. Well, I refuse to do that. But I would like to be accepted and respected for who I am.
Willard and Aimless, you make a very good point. It makes complete sense.

Definitely. The only problem I have is having to spend more time on my looks, with makeup and jewelry (which would be part of my ideal way to express myself, though). The more things I have to do as part of my day, the more anxiety I accumulate by the end of the day.
I would also like to have a universal look. I get used to the feel of certain clothing and don't like to change it. The perfect solution in terms of comfort would be to buy multiple pieces of the same clothing item and wear it all the time. I do that with my pants, but I think it's a bit odd to wear the same shirt all the time.

Depends what you want to do. In academia, if you're bright, you can be a total slob and get away with it. Unless you're in a med school. You don't have to be a brilliant dresser there, but make an effort to be presentable.

The business world...yeah, kinda.

community activism...depends there too. If you are gonna lobby congress, time to break out the suit and the overall fetching appearance. Those venomous old lechers won't stand for anything less. But if you're on the ground, doing community organizing, looking down-to-earth could go a long way.

The only time that matters in jobs/interviews/speeches/etc. I don't think you need to dress well for just going out with your friends or going to school. Dress in a way you are comfortable. Only dress nicely when you're in a formal situation.

My parents have always said that in order to succeed, I must always be well-dressed, well-groomed, and be very social. Well, in my current job, as long as I follow the dress code, and work well, no one really cares what I wear. In school, either. The only time I think it is really important to dress well is for interviews.

It is only necessary to dress "well" when you wish to impress someone. If you make a good impression at job interviews and at work, you are more likely to be promoted/accepted/get pay raises. Therefore, it pays to dress well in such situations.

When it comes to school, screw 'em. In school, your grades aren't based on your popularity or how well you dress, and the main focus should be on your studies. You can wear whatever you want (within the school's dress code, of course) to school.

They are right up to a point. Depends on the place [Toronto used to be really persnickety] AND the crowd you want to succeed with.

Odds are, though the ones where your costume matters most are likely the peop,le you will have the least used for and vice versa.

Bottom line, my experience -

clean clothes, no holes or smells, feel good on, reasonably good fit, AND as to style not too far from what the people you want to be with are wearing.

No. But I don't hang out with highly-corporate tools or preppies...



Just focus on your words and language then



Not quite. Varies based off the job. E.g. info systems fields would be more relaced than traditional offices and even the corporate world is forced to change to accomodate to more people shedding those looks...



"I am a citizen and not beholden to the corporates and bankers. I stand for the citizens and will not adopt the dress of the elitist ruling class"