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pumibel
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22 Apr 2010, 5:11 pm

Why is your mom threatening to cancel your gym membership? It is good for you, so I cant think of a good reason besides finances.

Anyway- you can run or walk anywhere and do push-ups, crunches, jump rope, etc. anywhere, so the loss of the membership may not be a total loss! Enjoy the outdoors!

And you are not fat- I was expecting to see a lot more of you than that!

I get this way myself- feeling down on myself and thinking I am fat when I am not even in the red zone for my height. The important thing is to be healthy, get your exercise and rest and eat good foods that give you energy and keep up your protein to build muscle and help concentration.

I hope you feel better soon!



y-pod
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22 Apr 2010, 5:48 pm

To be honest, after seeing your picture, I don't think you're fat at all. You look about average. I don't think any potential employer or date would care that you have a bit of a belly, just like every other guy walking out there who's older than 20. In fact I myself wouldn't have dated a man who's any skinnier. I don't like scrawny guys. Somehow I don't trust them.



pumibel
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22 Apr 2010, 7:29 pm

y-pod wrote:
To be honest, after seeing your picture, I don't think you're fat at all. You look about average. I don't think any potential employer or date would care that you have a bit of a belly, just like every other guy walking out there who's older than 20. In fact I myself wouldn't have dated a man who's any skinnier. I don't like scrawny guys. Somehow I don't trust them.


LOL- Like Julius Caesar who distrusted "lean hungry-looking" people, like Brutus. He was on to something there, after all :wink:



callumosborne
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22 Apr 2010, 7:49 pm

your actually not fat have some faith in yourself if you think your really that fat and you mum is about to cancel gym membership why not ask her to buy an exercise machine or wieghts to do home workouts :D



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22 Apr 2010, 8:07 pm

I'm not pulling your chain when I say this - I think you're really cute. Then again, my husband weighs about 270. :lol:

I suggest making a rational case to your mom about how good a gym membership is for you and how it would be counterproductive to punish you by taking it away (if that is her motivation.)

If you're not seeing the results you were hoping for at the gym, try talking to the people who work there or reading up on how to make workouts more effective.

One last thing. A lot of people will tell you that working out decreases your appetite. More recent studies have shown this is crap. Working out can really make you hungry. I work out every day and I have to control what I eat too, or I gain weight. (I've lost 80+ pounds over the last few years but it piles on again in no time if I'm not careful.) Try to find the amount of workout that will benefit you without making you overeat (if you do.)

But seriously, I agree with everyone else here. You may be heavier than the media standard, but no way are you so heavy that it needs to be a serious concern.


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jeffhermy
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22 Apr 2010, 8:32 pm

Callista wrote:
You're going to the gym? Ug, how boring... I'd hate that. Go walking in your neighborhood (if it's safe)... feel the sun on your face, listen to some music...

Lost 2 pounds each month for the last 3 months just going on a mile walk and eating at home, now junk food makes me sick.



phil777
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22 Apr 2010, 9:22 pm

You're overthinking this, you should see how obese some people are, you'd feel slim next to them. At least that's how i felt when i visited New Jersey a few years ago :lol: .



CockneyRebel
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22 Apr 2010, 11:04 pm

I feel pretty slim and attractive, compared to the 300+lb unkempt women around the area, where I live.


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SamwiseGamgee
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22 Apr 2010, 11:57 pm

willaful wrote:
I think you're really cute.

I would have to agree. And I think you're at the perfect weight.

If it really bothers you though, and your mom takes away your gym membership, then start walking/running, or doing exercises at home. You don't even need to buy anything, there are plenty of online resources to help you out and you can use things from around the house if you want to do weightlifting exercises.

Also, if you're not already, I would suggest watching your calorie intake. I've lost lots of weight recently simply by making sure I eat between 1300-1500 calories a day. Even still eating junk food, just eat less of it and don't exceed your calorie limit (you'll have to find the numbers that are right for you, but I can help you if you'd like).


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LostNFound
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23 Apr 2010, 12:24 am

Nostromos wrote:
Working out makes you feel good. That's a great start.

Get yourself a book on weightlifting and learn some basic movements with proper form, as well as some sample workout routines. START SMALL BUT CONSISTENT. It doesn't sound like you're interested in anything exceptionally strenuous, although if you feel like it's "you against the world," the hard work WILL help you feel better about yourself.

Are there treadmills at this gym? Get on one for ten minutes at a speed you're comfortable with. That's all, just ten minutes. But do it the next day, too - and the one after that. Gradually increase the speed and you will feel yourself getting better - stronger! That in itself is good motivation. And running sheds pounds. If your shins or knees start to hurt, as mine sometimes do, just get on an exercise bike or something instead. Make sure to stretch first, too.

Imagine yourself not feeling the way you do about yourself and the world right now -- isn't the discomfort of exercise worth this?

I find other people at the gym distracting and annoying. Some aspies may feel threatened. Find a time of day that works for you when there's few other people at the gym, maybe. I've always found gyms to be almost empty on Friday and Saturday nights -- total bliss.


Consistent and patient are the magic words. I once weighed around 240 lbs. when I was 15. That's at at 6 ft. I now weigh around 200 but a lot of that is muscle and I don't appear to weightthat much.

I realized long ago that the most gratifying way to lose weight was the slow method of keeping a fairly reasonable diet with exercise. I can't fathom the people the do these crash diets and see almost instant results but haven't the common sense to know they will not adhere to said diet for long. Especially since the drastic diets are by and large, AWFUL!

I came to enjoy the suprise of suddenly being able to slip on something I never could before. It's easier on the body as well, going slow.

Take your time and you will succeed. If you're anything like me just nixing the doughnuts/ice cream/etc. common sense stuff and going to diet cola will help mightily.

As for the exercise it's rarely fun, at least how I do it. I try to lift weights every other day and squeeze in the stair stepper Nazi a couple times a week. I received a Gold's gym aerobic step for Christmas. Despite initially offing it as useless for a weight lifting guy as I am, I was wrong. The lady on the DVD regularly whoops my a** and have had the most dramatic improvement in fitness hence.

Exercise isn't fun, at least not often enough. But I feel physically great. I'm not referring to a waistline, but rather to capability. I feel like I can accomplish practically anything a human body could hope to. And that's worth it for me.



harlequinsenor
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23 Apr 2010, 1:01 am

I appreciate all the support.

I suppose I just get frustrated at times... I have been unemployed for close to a year and a half and it's difficult. I've always worked out, but recently I've began a real push... the past two weeks I've been doing more intense workouts (2+ hours of cardio on ellipticals and treadmills followed by at least an hour of weight training) plus a restricted diet (basically cabbage, onions, fish, and chicken breasts)...

I have a nice education... wonderful family... a good car... my own apartment...

Sometimes as I sit on my futon watching the Maury show and watch these poor slobs parade across the stage arguing about money and babies I think to myself... gee, they're actually pretty lucky. Sure those women DNA test 50 guys she slept with who claim to hate her as much as she claims to hate them... but in the end I know she wouldn't spend more than 10 minutes in a room with me before getting bored.

I guess I'm just really boring as a person and I need to get a better body to compensate.



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23 Apr 2010, 1:40 am

Getting a better body does not compensate for being boring. My 'special interest" for a time was a kind of dance and I practiced every single day for many hours, often in the double digits. I got very slim and toned, yet remained "busty" and kept the well rounded hips. I certainly attracted more intial attention than when I had a more average shape, but only a minority retained interest when I proved to be "boring", and that minority are not the kind of people that it is beneficial or worthwhile to have interested in you.

You need to make yourself more interesting to others by making yourself more interesting. Your body will only hold the attention of anyone whose attention is worthwhile, for a very short period of time, somewhere in the region of minutes or less.

People find themselves interesting, so maybe it would help if you learned some techniques to get people talking fluidly and contentedly about themselves to you.



LostNFound
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23 Apr 2010, 1:58 am

harlequinsenor wrote:
I appreciate all the support.

I suppose I just get frustrated at times... I have been unemployed for close to a year and a half and it's difficult. I've always worked out, but recently I've began a real push... the past two weeks I've been doing more intense workouts (2+ hours of cardio on ellipticals and treadmills followed by at least an hour of weight training) plus a restricted diet (basically cabbage, onions, fish, and chicken breasts)...

I have a nice education... wonderful family... a good car... my own apartment...

Sometimes as I sit on my futon watching the Maury show and watch these poor slobs parade across the stage arguing about money and babies I think to myself... gee, they're actually pretty lucky. Sure those women DNA test 50 guys she slept with who claim to hate her as much as she claims to hate them... but in the end I know she wouldn't spend more than 10 minutes in a room with me before getting bored.

I doubt you're any more boring than most of us. Aspies just have a difficult time impressing personality if not character. I assure you though being fit is anything but a negative. Don't mistake me. I could still stand to lose a good 10 lbs. to be at what is considered optimal weight for my height. So it's not like I'm Mr. Universe over here. But its wonderful to feel you can do most anything the typical human is capable of if not more.

Sounds like you're taking considerable steps. Don't let anyone deter you if that's what you want. Keep at it and use common sense. Remember please! Slow equals gratifying. It takes days after binging to realize what you've done to yourself and likewise for exercise. You're human and complex material. Not some hourglass full of dwindling sand grains. I wish you success. I really, really do. PERSIST.


I guess I'm just really boring as a person and I need to get a better body to compensate.



LostNFound
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23 Apr 2010, 2:04 am

I posted another long one only to have it null and void. Bollocks. But I realized the brunt of it was simply this. PERSIST! PERSIST! PERSIST! Use common sense and PERSIST. You will have results. I read a few of preceeding posts and none considered you 'fat' anyhow. Noone here considers me fat either but I know I still have a way to go to truly fit. Now when I'm 50 I may not give a, but until then. To avoid effort what is this pic everyone is seeing?



harlequinsenor
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23 Apr 2010, 2:16 am

pandd wrote:
Getting a better body does not compensate for being boring. My 'special interest" for a time was a kind of dance and I practiced every single day for many hours, often in the double digits. I got very slim and toned, yet remained "busty" and kept the well rounded hips. I certainly attracted more intial attention than when I had a more average shape, but only a minority retained interest when I proved to be "boring", and that minority are not the kind of people that it is beneficial or worthwhile to have interested in you.

You need to make yourself more interesting to others by making yourself more interesting. Your body will only hold the attention of anyone whose attention is worthwhile, for a very short period of time, somewhere in the region of minutes or less.

People find themselves interesting, so maybe it would help if you learned some techniques to get people talking fluidly and contentedly about themselves to you.


You had me at "slim and toned...busty...and kept the well rounded hips."

But you lost me when you brought up your luxury of selectivity, etc.



harlequinsenor
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23 Apr 2010, 2:18 am

LostNFound wrote:
PERSIST! PERSIST! PERSIST! Use common sense and PERSIST.


What choice do I have? I will persevere.