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29 Apr 2010, 7:19 pm

flyingkittycat wrote:
Eventually after sometimes years of condensending behavior and insults, I may talk back and when I do, I'm being outcasted, told off and treated like I had no right to fight back or even say anything back.


This is one of the things that outrages me the most about NT behavior. Why is it ok for an attacker to do as they like, but if a victim fights back they're seen as a bad person and further victimized by people who've SEEN the attacks and KNOW that they're the victim? :wall:


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TheDoctor82
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29 Apr 2010, 8:10 pm

S-P-M-E wrote:
flyingkittycat wrote:
Eventually after sometimes years of condensending behavior and insults, I may talk back and when I do, I'm being outcasted, told off and treated like I had no right to fight back or even say anything back.


This is one of the things that outrages me the most about NT behavior. Why is it ok for an attacker to do as they like, but if a victim fights back they're seen as a bad person and further victimized by people who've SEEN the attacks and KNOW that they're the victim? :wall:


Simple, it "throws off the natural order of things" to them; basically, they back the "attacker", whether they admit to it or not; in their eyes, you do deserve to be attacked, because you're different....it's just that those who see you as the bad person don't have the balls to admit it.

In some cases, they could also be jealous that you have the balls to fight back, and they don't...but in that case again they resent you, and in turn don't really like you.



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29 Apr 2010, 8:15 pm

Which is why I said if you are sure he will back down from a physical challenge, make it into one, remove that power from him, and do it in public, while explaining your reason for doing so.

Perhaps I'm just less tolerant due to years of dealing with ignorant rednecks in Kentucky, someone started doing that, I'd tell them to stop, then start slapping/tossing them around (literally slapping, open palm, very little is quite as humiliating in public to do to another male) til they admitted they were helpless against me.



crocus
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29 Apr 2010, 8:17 pm

MuayThaiKid wrote:
...
my situation is,
this kid like feeds off the energy of everyone else in the room. and when I say something funny or people give me more attention, he try's to take cheap stabs at me. but none of my friends can see this.
for example: the other day, everything about me was normal, except due to anxiety my leg was a little bouncy.
he looked at me and laughed, then said " You guys ever laugh at something, and feel like you shouldn't be laughing"
then when everyone was like wtf r u talking about, he made an example. he goes you know... like when you see a retarded kid and you just kinda laugh. and he kept making examples, and his body posture was directed at me, so i kept getting the group to change topic and have fun, and the more i did, the more he got mad.



MuayThaiKid wrote:
Honestly I think he may be one of those Pride type of people. everyone likes them, except the one who figures them out, and they know that person figured them out, so they try to make them look bad so they aren't exposed.

only thing is, Idk how he knows i figured him out, if that's the case.


He's a vampire (an energy/psychic/social/pranic vampire, call it what you will). He feeds off the energy of everyone around him because he has to. A few people have called him a sociopath on here. Same thing. Different name. Vampires can always tell when you're on to them. They can also always figure out who to target because they can pick out those who see through their game and that would be death to them. They need the game to survive. You see them for what they are. You hold the proverbial deathly mirror up to their face therefore you are the enemy and you have to be sabotaged. That is why you are being targeted by him. Your knowledge of what his is, is a threat to him. Plus he needs to feed off the energy and your getting some of it.


Kiley wrote:
I don't think this is an Aspie/NT thing. I think it's an intelligence/area of giftedness thing. Some people are better judges of character than others. You, apparently, have a gift for it. Is that gift more common among Aspies or NTs? I'd guess NT's but I'm not committed to that choice. Maybe the Aspie has the advantage because they aren't distracted by faked social cues. Hmmm


Yes, that's correct. I believe some highly intuitive NTs can see it, but I also think it's an AS spectrum gift.


justMax wrote:
I'd call him out on it, and casually suggest that he may wish to speak with a psychiatrist about his sociopathic tendencies, as they could be a sign of severe psychological dysfunction, but if he feels the need to direct them towards me, he should cease this activity before I deem it an aggressive one, and rectify the situation.

Keep in mind though, I have been practicing kung fu for nearly 20 years, and this would most likely result in me making a fool of him after he tried to start a fight. Usually I get that out of the way when I move to a new neighborhood, and demonstrate that I'm not a good target.

Your methods may vary.



I strongly disagree with publicly calling out a sociopath/vampire. Never, ever hold the mirror up to a sociopath. Everything you read on them tells you never to do this unless you are prepared for the war to end all wars and I guarantee you, they will set out to destroy you using every means possible. (I've experienced this personally and I can tell you that you do NOT want this.) The difference between them and everyone else is they have absolutely no conscience plus they have the uncannily believeable (to 99.9999% of the population) charm. They will sabotage you, lying pathologically and ruining you because everyone will believe them. Winning at all costs mean just that to them.

Having said that, I would also not advise going the "weakness" route. You have to let him know that you will not be f****d with, but you have to do it in private. You will have to play his cloak and dagger game. Never show him weakness, because that will actually incite him more. Inside he feels weak and seeing that in you will fill him with rage directed your way.


ViperaAspis wrote:
If he is really so boorish for little reason, other group members might be thinking similarly about him but not want to say it. While you can find potential defenders there, I would recommend that you don't go the route of marshalling these people against him. These kinds of allies have a way of disappearing during the Showdown at the OK Corral.


This is true.

cyberscan wrote:
If you confront this sociopath directly in front of the group, he will have the charisma and charm to make you look bad. However, if you can take care of business away from the group, things might work out better. There are plenty of revenge techniques that can be used to make him look like a fool or make him look bad in front of others. Done right, the sociopath will never know that it came from you. I tend to use these tactics as a last resort once all else fails. Like another poster stated, NT's will usually side with the bullies rather than the bullied. If all else, destroy the bully or set the bully up for self destruction.


I agree with you, cyberscan. Only the most productive sociopaths flouish. Most of them find ways to self destruct. My MO can be encapsulated by "give them enough rope and they will hang themselves with it."

conan wrote:
filming you doing an illegal activity although it could be seen as innocent suggests to me that he is collecting things to threaten you with. having said this don't get paranoid about it!


This is a classic example of sociopathic sabotage. That's what they do.

Now, if you want to deal with this s**t, you need to know his game and what makes him tick.

First, I would recommend giving him back his supply - his energy. You have become the enemy because you take some of the energy from the group, by being extroverted witty and funny. That's his life blood. Pull back and give it back to him, but do it in a very subtle, not obvious way. He can't know you are doing it. You haveto be stealth with this. This will allevate his rage at you to start with and make him feel more satisfied with himself. You want that. But, do not give him your energy. Make sure you give him nothing to feed off of you.

You need to be stealth like him. KNOW that he will undermine you no matter what and always make sure you are watching your back and do not let him cross any of your boundaries. Form allies, but do it in a way that's not obvious to him, otherwise he will undoubtedly make sure you get double crossed.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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29 Apr 2010, 8:32 pm

You can always try what people I have known do...call a mutual friend on the phone and start complaining about the dude like he is the most obnoxiously dangerous person in the world. Try to brainwash your mutual aquaintances into thinking he is really awful and a terrible influence on them. If that doesn't work, just tell them, "look, it's either him or me.". The guy will probably call you on the phone and apologize.



TheDoctor82
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29 Apr 2010, 10:05 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
You can always try what people I have known do...call a mutual friend on the phone and start complaining about the dude like he is the most obnoxiously dangerous person in the world. Try to brainwash your mutual aquaintances into thinking he is really awful and a terrible influence on them. If that doesn't work, just tell them, "look, it's either him or me.". The guy will probably call you on the phone and apologize.



no no no no no...never give that ultimatum; regardless of what you think, you likely won't enjoy the results of that. Plus, it makes ya look like a total douchebag.



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30 Apr 2010, 12:46 am

Eh, like I said, my method would only work in my case because I choose friends for particular reasons, and am unconcerned with social rules at all.

It could indeed turn into a big epic thing, which is why I would make him get physical, then slap him around in public to make sure he knew he was picking a fight with the top predator, and everyone else knew it.

After that point, simply point your fingers and snap when he gets out of line.

You WILL look like a jerk to most people though, if that matters to you, don't do this. I have no tolerance for passive aggressive BS from males, I'm a barbarian at heart. In my mind a guy like this is sooner or later going to direct this crap at a woman, so he deserves a pre-emptive reality check anyways. My dad used to do this s**t, and wound up abusing my mom, while acting all normal and sociable with everyone else, screw that.



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30 Apr 2010, 12:57 am

justMax wrote:
Eh, like I said, my method would only work in my case because I choose friends for particular reasons, and am unconcerned with social rules at all.

It could indeed turn into a big epic thing, which is why I would make him get physical, then slap him around in public to make sure he knew he was picking a fight with the top predator, and everyone else knew it.

After that point, simply point your fingers and snap when he gets out of line.

You WILL look like a jerk to most people though, if that matters to you, don't do this. I have no tolerance for passive aggressive BS from males, I'm a barbarian at heart. In my mind a guy like this is sooner or later going to direct this crap at a woman, so he deserves a pre-emptive reality check anyways. My dad used to do this sh**, and wound up abusing my mom, while acting all normal and sociable with everyone else, screw that.


sounds like how people just generally act towards me, and from what I read, the same apparently for others here.....

it's taught me a lot about humanity overall. If there's one thing I've learned: please don't say the majority are good and decent and the minority ruin it for everybody; try it the other way around.



MuayThaiKid
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22 May 2010, 4:33 pm

so a little update. I only talk to my best friend like once a week(dunno if thats considered a besty anymore)
him and another of my friends got into a car accident, and I was the last to be told, days after it happened and they were out of the hospital.its sad, the people I used to hold dear rarely talk to me anymore. and whenever something happens, thay say
Weren't you with us??? or I thought so n so called you thats why I didnt.

really im tired of people like this. it makes no sense to me. how can you be friends with someone for 5 yrs and all the sudden ingore them?
I mean if they never liked me, why have we been friends so long.

oh and as for the NT starting trouble with me, I figured out he is only like that when he is trying to impress others.

man my life feels like one of those sappy coming of age novels.



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22 May 2010, 10:27 pm

Oh, get ready for this one then: I'm the oldest of three grandchildren, and I was about to enter Junior High School; my whole family knew I was nervous about it.

After school ended that day, my family wanted to know how everything went...so instead of--y'know--actually calling and asking me how everything went, they called my grandparents about it, and my grandparents weren't too sure.

That's right...no one honestly bothered to call me & my folks because they had no desire to actually talk to us.

Even worse, my grandparents didn't even bother to recommend they call me up, either.



dyingofpoetry
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22 May 2010, 11:18 pm

I began dating that fake person you speak of Muay, and we were together for eight years. It was the biggest waste of my life. So, I don't think I could say anything constructive.


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