Thoughts on "don't overanalyze it"-type advice

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pat2rome
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30 Mar 2011, 12:53 pm

I do appreciate that this advice is usually given in good faith, but I have honestly found it to be the absolute least helpful social advice for me. It's usually in conjunction with some variation "just do what feels natural". However, I've lately realized just how much processing of information I have to do for everyday social situations just to figure out what is "natural". I've only realized it this recently (even my AS diagnosis didn't spawn this realization) because it's never been an issue. I can process things like patterns in behavior and the context of the interactions fast enough to where it appears intuitive, and I can recall all this information later so I don't have to process all that again when I encounter a similar situation.

Usually, "overanalyzing" leads to anxiety and indecision, which is why this advice is given to me so often. But for me, the opposite is true: the more data I have to process and to notice patterns in (this processing is why I've never had trouble with accidentally breaking unwritten social rules, although I still do if I think they're sufficiently stupid/trivial), the more comfortable and at ease I am with making a social decision.

A good example is a phone call. If I'm not expecting it and it's from an unknown number, I can't make myself answer it. I don't have any idea of what to expect, so I freeze. But if I've had some advance warning, I can go over everything in my head and feel comfortable answering.


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MONKEY
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30 Mar 2011, 1:02 pm

I get told that. How can I not overanalyse? I am an analytical person! It's not like analysing things is bad for me, it's what I prefer doing and too be honest I'm not exactly intuitive.


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bumble
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30 Mar 2011, 1:05 pm

I over analyse, terribly so. If I go with what feels natural I usually get it wrong lol. Socialising never feels natural to me. I also like to prepare for social situations and hate having them just dumped on me without any warning!



jmjelde
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30 Mar 2011, 1:10 pm

I agree, it is most unhelpful even though it is given in an effort to be kind. It's simply not possible to do things "naturally" when your nature isn't preceived as natural. To function you must intellectualize social behavior. Or at least I must. The best solution I've come up with is to ignore such statements, considering them as nothing but a grunt of helpfulness, without any real content.



JeremyNJ1984
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30 Mar 2011, 1:19 pm

Just don't overanalyze, stop overanalyzing comments... :wink:



Kail
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30 Mar 2011, 1:26 pm

Don't over analyse! you might find out something you shouldn't know! :P



Yensid
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30 Mar 2011, 5:01 pm

I have to analyze. My natural instincts offend people.


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MooCow
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31 Mar 2011, 1:20 am

I've been told that before. of course, I over-analyzed that piece of advice, which, I think, defeats the whole point.

Easier said than done, as they say.



DarrylZero
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31 Mar 2011, 2:19 am

That would be like people telling me to stop over-breathing.



Nathalie
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01 Apr 2011, 2:41 pm

I also over-analyse a lot, but I don't know how to do things different. Once I learned enough about certain situations, my behaviour will look more natural. Still, every evening I analyse every conversation I had that day, and think about what the person might have meant with it, what I should said, and how other people might think of me. And from there I start thinking about what would be right, should I keep my friends at a distance? They don't understand a lot of me, and trying to explain everything to them is very exhausting (and often very disapointing...)

I'm so incredible tired.... but overanalysing is the only way for me to live my life.



twinsmummy20
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01 Apr 2011, 3:15 pm

I cant tell you how helpful this thread is to me! I am a not aspergers, but my husband is and I cant tell you how many times I have told him "You think to much". Stop over annalysing it! I feel so bad now. We didnt know until this week. We are self diagnosing for now, but once he gets insurence we might get a formal dx. I always told him he thinks to much and to just do it and stop thinking. I feel horrible!



Surfman
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01 Apr 2011, 4:24 pm

Paralysis through analyses

I'm not particularly anal