not taking "no" for an answer
does anyone hate it when people ask you something and you get yelled at because you said "no"?
for example one time my family and i were taking about getting fast food to bring home. my sister asks if i wanna go with her to pick up the food and i plainly say "no". i just woke up from a nap and was still feeling a little groggy. then my dad basically tells me to go with her. all i'm thinking is "what was the point in asking me if you're just going to make me go anyways?"
for example one time my family and i were taking about getting fast food to bring home. my sister asks if i wanna go with her to pick up the food and i plainly say "no". i just woke up from a nap and was still feeling a little groggy. then my dad basically tells me to go with her. all i'm thinking is "what was the point in asking me if you're just going to make me go anyways?"
Ya its weird. Once, my brother asked if I was gonna play basketball with his friends and I said no. The next thing that happens is that my mom and brother had this "why not?" attitude. I eventually went in the middle of the game.
That sort of question is usually more like a request for help, even though it isn't presented that way. If someone asks you to help them with something, they will be taken aback if you just plain refuse.. It's kind of like asking,. "Can you pass the salt?" and have the other person just say, "no." You can see how that would come off as rude or uncooperative.
I'm not saying you didn't have the right to say no. You certainly did. But perhaps they wouldn't have gotten mad if you had said, "I'd like to come with you, but I just got up and don't really feel up to going out right now."
I'm not saying you didn't have the right to say no. You certainly did. But perhaps they wouldn't have gotten mad if you had said, "I'd like to come with you, but I just got up and don't really feel up to going out right now."
that would work but my dad and my sister walk all over me. for example my sister does the same exact thing all the time and my dad yells at her only a few times. but when i say no, my dad yells at me every single damn time.
ugh...it's almost like i have to act like a jerk around them so i don't get pushed around...and even then i get pushed around a lot
I grew up in Philadelphia, where "D'ya wanna"" is slang for, "Will you please?" My dad said when we first moved there and his secretary would say, "D'ya wanna call (Such-and-such Other Lawyer) back?" he'd think, "No, I don't wanna!" He picked up on it pretty quickly though, and to this day my family says "D'ya wanna?" for "Will you please?" (This is possibly the only part of my way of communicating my husband has ever picked up; he says "D'ya wanna" too.) This means I generally hear something like, "Do you want to go pick up the pizza with me?" as a polite request, rather than someone actually asking if it's something I want to do. (This caused some confusion with Rock Band, as I thought people were saying, "Will you please play bass/sing?" as opposed to knowing if I wanted a chance to do those things.) I very rarely refuse a polite request, unless I actually physically cannot do it. I will do it even if it's very hard or inconvenient, which means that when I say, "No," people know I have a good reason.
I can't honestly remember the last time someone wouldn't take no for an answer, aside from my husband in his sleep. He sleep talks and is often completely irrational, such as insisting we are in the car and I have stopped in the middle of an intersection. He won't take, "No" for an answer when I say, "No, I can't step on the gas, we're in bed...." Last time that happened, he shouted, "I know where we f*cking are!" hopped out of bed, and stormed out slamming the door, only to return less than a minute later to say, "I'm sorry, you're right...we were in bed."
I'm not saying you didn't have the right to say no. You certainly did. But perhaps they wouldn't have gotten mad if you had said, "I'd like to come with you, but I just got up and don't really feel up to going out right now."
that would work but my dad and my sister walk all over me. for example my sister does the same exact thing all the time and my dad yells at her only a few times. but when i say no, my dad yells at me every single damn time.
ugh...it's almost like i have to act like a jerk around them so i don't get pushed around...and even then i get pushed around a lot
I'm not saying you didn't have the right to say no. You certainly did. But perhaps they wouldn't have gotten mad if you had said, "I'd like to come with you, but I just got up and don't really feel up to going out right now."
that would work but my dad and my sister walk all over me. for example my sister does the same exact thing all the time and my dad yells at her only a few times. but when i say no, my dad yells at me every single damn time.
ugh...it's almost like i have to act like a jerk around them so i don't get pushed around...and even then i get pushed around a lot
she's not an aspie. she's bipolar.