Worried About My Mom

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Every member of my family has ASD ... myself included but mine isn't severe at all ... but my mom has it and with it she has OCD, ADHD and a lot of other health problems. My mom has always been and acted differently. She attracts a lot of stares when she's out because she's always wearing red or yellow leather gloves, even on the hottest day because she doesn't like touching anything or anyone. She even wears them at home and only takes them off when she goes for a bath or shower.

In the last three months my mom has complained of having nausea some days and getting exhausted from doing simple things like pegging out washing. I heard her talking to my dad the other day and she said she was having pains all over her body like in her stomach and hands. She also said she's been having chest pains, both sides.

Yesterday I was in the garden with my mom and she got breathless and had to rest outside on the grass. She said her chest was aching dully and that she'd be ok in a minute. After a couple of minutes she was fine and continued on as if it hadn't happened.

I'm really frightened. I don't want to lose my mom, but I'm afraid something terrible will happen to her. Is there anything I can do to help her? She went to the doctors about this once before, but after several tests nothing came back so she hasn't returned since. But I think my mom is worse now.

You should encourage her to see a doctor as soon as possible to rule out heart trouble.

I have executive functioning trouble with initiation which is common on the spectrum. I have been in situations where I knew I needed medical assistance, I knew I needed to say something and soon but was paralyzed thinking about how to do it, when to do it and whom to disclose to. Also, just the idea that a major change has occurred can be daunting and take long to adjust to. Like kraftiekortie said all you can do is encourage her to see a doctor hopefully a different one than the one who failed to follow through on her symptoms. She might be "not ready" and resist but at the end of the day she is an adult and it is her body.

I'm also worried about my mum as well. She also has heart troubles along with diabetes. She's also very blunt and straight forward to everybody except for her sister in law and my sister. I think she's on the spectrum and I don't dare mention anything to her about it.

She probably needs to have more testing done. Sometimes it takes lots of doctors visits and tests to find out what the problem is.

Good luck!

It’s often difficult to get family members to cooperate as far as going to the doctor is concerned. Come to think of it, I’m not that good about it myself...

I need to schedule a couple of appointments that I keep on putting off.

I'm in with those who think your mum may need professional help.

My former neighbor acted similarly, and we were told (by a close relative to her) that she had some form of generalized anxiety issue -- not a specific phobia, but an internal fear about everything and nothing at all.

I hope she's better soon.

One thing you can do in addition to encouraging a doctor visit, is to help her more than you normally do, and speak to her in very kind ways, and don't make her listen to any whining or meltdowns from you. Not saying you whine or have meltdowns, but they can really take a big toll on a parent, so if you do, take them somewhere else.

I'm thinking your mother may have one of those vague, ill-defined ailments that don't show up in lab tests or a doctor visit. For example, fibromyalgia can cause pain all over your body. For that, a visit to a rheumatologist is a good idea; general practice doctors don't know what to do with it, and frequently tell the patient "It's all in your head," which is demoralizing and unhelpful. Breathlessness and nausea can be caused by anxiety, and a general doctor won't be a lot of help there either.

If these symptoms really have come on rather suddenly (the past 3 months) a check up is a good idea in case there is something like cancer - not saying that to scare you, it's just safer to know for sure. For that, a primary care doctor is a good place to start. Good luck to you and to your mother.

Encourage her to see a doctor as soon as possible. It sounds like it could be a heart condition, but it very well may not be anything serious. I know what it feels like to be worried for a parent's health. Best of luck.

She should definitely go back to the doctor.

And don't worry. Just help arrange for her to see a doctor. Things will be ok. "Do not worry what a day may bring. Let each day worry about itself".

I agree with Kraftie. She needs to see the doctor. If she's having chest pains, someone ought to take her to the emergency room.