Who would I be?

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Sometimes, especially during bouts of deep depression, I think how much easier life would be if I was like everyone else around me. I realize I'm a pain in the backside as far as others are concerned. There are things I do that are inconvenient to them: I can't drive, have a difficult time talking on the phone, need to hold on to someone when I'm on a stairs, have almost no interest in what they see as 'fun and enjoyable' things to do, etc.

I feel bad that I don't want to go on a picnic (the heat and bright sun really bother me), go riding on a boat (same reason), go to the movies (it takes every bit of strength I have not to go running/screaming out of the theater), take a road trip (why, there is no purpose plus, I don't like being away from my house and books), etc.

Yea, I'm a real pain to them but I try to make up for my 'short-comings' by doing things I can. I keep the house clean so they don't have to, take care of their laundry, watch the children so people can go out and do things, planted a large garden that brings food into the house. I don't function well alone so I need them around, I like to think that they need me also.

I guess it would be easier if I was more like them but then, who would I be? Not me.
Sorry, just feeling down and venting a bit.

I feel the same way at times, but you said it yourself, look at all you bring to (your family, I assume?). Never feel like you're a burden to those around about you because from what you've described you add a whole lot to their lives through your efforts and just from your being there

A-M; I'm sure you're probably right. Sometimes it just gets really aggravating when I feel I am doing all that I can and someone says I am doing a poor job or not doing enough. When I'm depressed it just makes it worse; thats why I like to vent once in awhile. Thanks for your post.

I personally like to live in my little head. I do what interests me and I don't care what people think.

Have you tried that?

Hey don't mention it, the community is here for you . I understand but just remember if you feel you are doing all you can then you are already doing the best job you can, the people who ask for more are asking for the impossible and have no right to place that on you.

I brush the sheep off, and do my own thing, just being myself.

Ferdinand wrote: I personally like to live in my little head. I do what interests me and I don't care what people think. Have you tried that?


Thanks for your post. Yes, I have tried that when I was much younger. Not caring what people think got me: jail, a commitment hearing and having to live on the streets (I didn't like any of those). So what I learned from that is, this is THEIR world, whether I like that fact or not. And, if you don't 'fit in' on some level then bad things can happen to you. Times may have changed some things but I don't want to push my luck.