Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

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Mona Pereth
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03 Nov 2018, 11:04 am

I remember feeling like this when I was younger, as if I were wearing an invisible veil and unable to take it off. The feeling diminished somewhat in my early-to-mid twenties, when I finally managed to make some long-lasting close friendships. The feeling then diminished more in my early thirties due to some personal experiences with alternative spiritualities.

These days, fortunately, I live with an Aspie boyfriend, with whom I feel free to be fully myself, and we live in a highly multi-cultural neighborhood with immigrants from many different countries around the world, so there's no narrow set of cultural norms we have to stuff ourselves into here. (We're not friends with anyone in our immediate neighborhood, but we're not outcasts either.) This situation helps both of us feel much more at ease and more alive than we could otherwise.


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Aspie19828
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04 Nov 2018, 11:50 pm

Therapists and psychologists did not understand my unique problems/issues. They made me do things like read some psychological/CBT chapters, analyse thoughts/feeling of situations and deep breathing or meditation. None of those things changed that I am socially awkward, outcast, rejected by society and I have no place in this world. Being socially isolated increases my negativity, loneliness, boredom, resentment and frustration.



SilentJessica
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06 Nov 2018, 10:25 am

Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped inside myself with my family (I can’t talk to anyone else) and it makes me sad sometimes because I don’t know how to let myself out. There was one day last year that I started to really notice it, and I felt like I wanted to cry for a few days after that. I don’t think I’ll ever be different, and I wouldn’t know how.

I talk to them, but they can talk and express themselves much more than I do, and compared to them, I don’t say much. Most thoughts stay in my mind, and I spend my time thinking about lots of different things while I sit there and watch/listen. I feel sort of like I’m a ghost, especially if my eyes start doing something that makes me feel like a camera lens zooming out. It makes me feel like I’m boring.

If I’m writing, it’s different, and I can type or write what I’m thinking much easier than I can say it. I feel like who I am online is the “real me,” and that makes me feel bad because I know I should be like that in person, too. Everything feels unnatural for me. I can’t imagine thinking out loud like everyone else seems to.


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hellhole
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06 Nov 2018, 4:45 pm

On 'bad days' I sometimes feel like this, so yes.

At the same time though maybe look into schizotypy, or STPD to be more specific; what you just said in your post rang a bell with me, it sounds an awful lot like what someone on the STPD spectrum would experience.

Or you may just be posting in the right place, in which case I would suggest looking up "autistic intertia".


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Aspie19828
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Fern
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17 Nov 2018, 12:19 pm

lyricalillusions wrote:
I was wondering.... Does anyone else feel like the real you is trapped inside of yourself? Like you can't be yourself & the real you just won't come out & is buried inside of you somewhere?


I used to feel exactly the same way, especially as a teenager and young-adult. More recently, and thanks to a lot of encouragement from my amazing support network, I've learned to embrace the weirdness that is me. In doing so, I have moved from an unhappy and seemingly-introverted awkward person to being the extroverted awkward person that I think I always was deep down. I'll always be a little different from others, but now I'm in a group of people that values that about me. I'm not perfect, but I feel like the me I am today is the best version of myself so far. I think it really helps that my profession is rampant with successful people on the spectrum. Together we are actually pretty darn good at encouraging one another once we get comfortable.

Anyway, my advice to you is to think about the people and things in your life that bring you contentment. In my case, walking in that direction is what brought me to where I am.


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Aspie19828
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22 Nov 2018, 10:13 am

Introvert with positive outlook on life and is a deep thinker. Introvert with a negative, self-pitying, poor me is no good. Medication and therapy can help with the low moods, low self esteem and confidence issues that plague Autistics. Autistics need to open up and become more sociable instead of being socially withdrawn, weird, recluse. No one likes negative silent people that sit in the corner or the weird people that stare and never say a word like we see in the horror movies.



caThar4G
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22 Nov 2018, 11:47 am

Yes.
Sometimes I think because it's because of trauma. From being too sensitive to certain things and not being able to speak my mind on it. From not being confident.
I broke free of that some when homeless, having my own place, and not being around certain people too much.



Aspie19828
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22 Nov 2018, 8:26 pm

Autism is a life long struggle that only people with it can understand how challenging and difficult life can be to constantly struggle to fit in and never be accepted. I have Autism and I am an extreme introvert. My life is not going to change by positive thinking or whatever suggestions people make. Making friends is very hard for us extreme introverts no one accepts people with Autism. I have focused more on fitness: cycling and running for the last 6 years but that does not change anything, no change in being an extreme introvert and I am still Autistic. I have never been accepted by society and will never be accepted by society. I always hated being labeled the freak/weirdo/creep/outcast/loser by randoms and it always upsets me. Every negative opinion gets to me and upsets me and I try to avoid social situations. I hate being misunderstood and not being accepted by society. I have always felt like the entire world has being working against me despite how hard I have tried to fit into society. Life is not fair!



KingExplosionMurder
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10 Dec 2018, 11:09 am

I can totally relate. I'm so used to pretending and trying to appease others I don't even know what the real me is like. It's frustrating.



Aspie19828
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14 Dec 2018, 1:25 am

Being closed off due to disability and inability to talk, no one knows you, people fear the unknown. Typing online is my main communication to the outside world. I have been online posting for 20 years now!



HighLlama
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14 Dec 2018, 4:21 am

I feel this way, mostly if I'm having some physical symptom of sensory overload (chest pains, muscle pains, stomach pain, headaches) and I'm not able to do much for myself in the moment.


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Aspie19828
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15 Dec 2018, 8:16 pm

I am a victim of society. I hate the victim blame society that changes nothing and only makes victims like me angrier over time. I am still a victim and my life is not going to change by idiots insulting me.



auntblabby
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15 Dec 2018, 8:17 pm

I feel like deep down inside of me, there is a witty raconteur residing in a body that says, "not so fast."



Reed
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17 Dec 2018, 7:08 pm

Why yes, yes I do