Not happy with myself at all

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I really struggle with judgment , i always fear people judging me for making a mistake or not doing things to perfection. I used to do alot of photography although i get moments of positive i find it hurts when people knock me down because it doesn't conform to their standards. I'd go out spend hours doing photography , come back home , process them and get " composition is wrong " , "looks fake" , "boring" and i end up getting angry or hurt. I know i ask for feedback but it's only because i want to better myself but again how do i better myself when my mind/eye see's it as stunning. It's like in life i fear work , i fear the outside because i fear making mistakes and being judged. Yes i know we must experience these things as it's a part of life. But i struggle i really do , i've been judged throughout my life as a kid and growing up because i do things differently , i see things differently.

At school i'd put my hand up answering that question , but if i got it wrong i'd be laughed at... pointed at.. At sports because i used to be fat i'd be judged on my weight and be an outcast. I judge myself because i don't have a job , i live with my parents. Yet when i finally speak up for myself on forums or in life it goes wrong , arguments happen or the smallest crit / remark ends up in a rage of fury. Stop picking on me , but why won't you listen to me!. I've ended up people hating me on forums calling me racist or a troll or even moderators calling me a cry baby and i need to grow up. Yet when again i explain the situation it just blows up in my face , i just say f**k it and delete the forum never to be seen again.

I've had friends backstab me and judge me when i thought i was doing the right thing , everytime i trust someone sooner or later i end up getting hurt. I love positive feedback because i really don't give myself much at all and it makes me happy and want to continue but one wrong move in what i do proves fatal!. There are times though when things are ok yet when ever i open my mouth , post on a forum yet it backlash's , i say to myself " don't post that " " just leave it alone " but i do anyway. Afterwards totaly regretting it! , it's because i spent so long with people putting there hand over my mouth or atleast stopping me mentally i have to say something!

I even said to my mum today " That i feel i've failed her as a son " , she totaly disagree's and doesn't like me saying that. But with a slight tear it's how i feel , i feel i'm a failure i should just shut up.. Never join a forum , never talk to anyone , just live life as a hermit.

It's okay man, seriously you can vent here if something is bothering you. I know how it is to have something, think it's the coolest thing ever and someone just steps on it and criticizes it. In all seriousness most people that criticize something are insecure of their own abilities and find it necessary to down other's potential to make them feel better. Also as for the social problems, we all have those, even NT's have this problem sometimes. Hope this helps you at least a little bit.

Thankyou , kind of you to say.

Oookay... not entirely sure how well this will be recieved. I've a few comments to write about what you've written which are intended to be helpful, but you do come across as a bit touchy. For the record, I am not trying to upset you or offend you in any way.

Ok, if you're getting into photography, you'll need to grow a thicker skin than that. Especially on the internet as people are apt to tell you what they really think without cushioning the blow. That can hurt if you yourself think your work is awesome, but then again, that's what happens if you let your head swell.

If you ask for criticism when you already think your work is 'stunning', then that's just fishing for compliments. From what I've seen, photographers don't really bother with that lark, so you're likely to get taken at your word. And unless you've been taking pictures for decades, there will be things that could be improved and better photographers out there.

Also, people have different tastes so if someone tells you 'it's boring', then ignore them. They're probably just trolling for lols or too stupid to waste time on. If the criticism is detailed though and clearly intended to be helpful, don't get offended by it. Getting huffy and upset at genuine criticism or acting like your work is wonderful will come across as arrogant and will only encourage others to try and take you down a peg or two.


It is hard not to carry around baggage from childhood, but you need to learn to move on. People do still judge you, but its up to you to ignore them and do what you like. You have the freedom to do that as an adult.



Again, all in the past. Forget it. There's no more sports and lessons, so all that is irrelevant in adult life. Many successful people were overweight as kids or couldn't catch a ball to save their life.



This... isn't the best thing to write in a post if you're trying to make a fresh start. All it's doing is warning people away and it seems like you're accusing people of picking on you and not listening before a situation has even arisen.


Everyone likes positive feedback but realistically, you're not always going to get it. Don't rely on others to make you feel ok. Also, just a heads up; this is Wrong Planet. Go back over the past threads here and you'll see some of the thread wars that have broken out. People have said the most atrocious things, but once it blows over, they're back as normal... I dunno if it's because we have some wonderful forgiving utopia, or if people just don't really give that much of a s**t what some person wrote in a thread years ago... whatever it is, it's fair enough to say that putting your foot in it here is rarely 'fatal'.


Well, if you knew in advance you shouldn't have posted a comment, then you've only yourself to blame. Nobody's going to kick you off WP for saying stupid things (unless you breach the rules), but you do run the risk of someone disagreeing with you and arguing. If you can deal with that, post away, otherwise don't post.



Low self esteem sucks. You're welcome to rant about it here (the Haven's the best place, especially if you don't take criticism too well). It sounds like you're upsetting your mum though when you say stuff like that, so maybe you shouldn't; she sounds like she's being pretty supportive. Probably the best thing you could do for her (and yourself) would be to try to not think of yourself as a failure. On the grand scale of things, you're could be a lot worse.

Thanks for that , good read.....

I don't mind thoughtful posts with good advice but i've always found it difficult to deal with point blank critique. Your shot could be improved by , whereas i tend to get well you read what i get

I think it's best that i do avoid forums , this one is ok but forums in general are my downfall . I think of it as an autistic person trying to be sociable in a crowd of norms lol

Truthully though i really don't have a thick skin , i wish i did

You need to get out of yourself.
All photography is judged. Get used to it. Take a class, and learn what is meant by 'good composition'. Look at a lot of different photography styles, and work on developing one of your own. I prefer to take pictures of classic cars and then alter them in Photoshop.
Realize that most artists react negatively to criticism. I remember reading an article by a graphic novel artist who, when told his latest idea wasn't any good, commented that he went home and crawled under his bed for six months. (! !!)
The same goes for everyday interactions. When I get criticized at work for making mistakes I shrug it off. I tell my fellow employees that I'm not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.
So quit worrying so much ! !!

Perhaps you are a little depressed.
I tell you what - I understand the feeling of fear of being judged, and fear of getting bad feedback.
It is common for people with Asperger Syndrome to feel attacked, to not like their own work, and to have difficulties with their own emotions or self esteem.
If you are depressed, depression is like a cloud that makes people not appreciate themselves or other things in life.
I tell you though - I wrote some music and never really appreciated it, but now I look back and I think 'That's actually pretty good... why did I never like it?'
Also - photography is a lot like art yes? Art is open to interpretation. You are your own biggest fan, so yes - listen to constructive criticism and take seriously the advice that makes sense to you.
It sounds as though you have had a hard time, but I bet you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, and a lot more talented than you give yourself credit for.
I bet you are opposite to how you feel about yourself - you are NOT a failure.
Believe in yourself.
Good luck with photography. Turn the tables with any negativity and feel good about yourself! ^^

hey thankyou , hopefully this will eeze my unstable mind!

.... Good for you , i wish for me at this time it was that simple I've been brought up that if i fail i should suffer from it. Whatever the failure maybe , being that i have ocd the same negative image can go over and over in my head even when it's all sorted