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League_Girl
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11 Jul 2010, 9:03 pm

huntedman wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Just because someone has a job doesn't mean they struggled getting one or just because someone is married or in a relationship doesn't mean they struggled with them or don't struggle with them and just because someone doesn't talk about their issues their AS causes them doesn't mean they don't exist.


I want to reiterate this point. On the internet people only show you the part of themselves that they want you to see, and your imagination fills in the blanks based on your opinion of them. Some can be more open with the problems that they are having, some cannot. As I understand it an inability to verbalize the problems you are having and why, is quite common among people who suffer from AS.


It's not just that, when you go on forums, you don't see people talking about their AS issues because it's not what the forum is about. You can go to a pregnancy forum and see people talking about things related to it but when you go to none pregancy forums, you won't see any talks about it. You won't realize someone there is pregnant until they bring it up in one of their posts and you are like "I didn't know she was pregnant." I have been on none autism forums and sometimes people would mention having AS or mild autism and they don't even talk about their issues there related to their condition.

And I don't post about every single thing that goes on in my life because I feel why must people know about it? They don't. Plus I have noticed when problems is all someone talks about they keep having with people or in their lives, people get sick of it and call them attention whores or whiners or something.



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11 Jul 2010, 9:53 pm

Question for Willard (et al) . . .

I've noticed that, whenever the issue of self-diagnosis comes up, you make it clear (as you do in the post quoted below) that you hold the opinion that anyone who doesn't feel the need for a formal diagnosis must not have any real issues.

I do not claim to be able to make a formal diagnosis, but I can say with certainty that Asperger's is by far the best explanation I've found for the collection of issues I have. While I am investigating the ramifications a diagnosis would have, I expect that the state will take the position that, if I've managed to muddle through to the ripe old age of 49 without their assistance, there's no need for me to have it now.

I see a lot of people on here saying that there are benefits to seeing the world through Autistic-tinged glasses, and I would not argue with those people, even if I had enough info to do so. They may be right, they may be wrong, but either way - if it helps to look at it that way, more power to them. The fact of the matter is, the public perception of "autism" is a highly negative one. Which brings me to my question:

IF I am autistic, but not disabled by it enough to get any "benefits" from it, why in God's name would I want to have something negative permanently added to my medical records?


I have enough problems FROM my problems, without asking for more.

Willard wrote:
I think that's the mature thing to do. I 'knew' I almost certainly had AS for several years before seeking the formal diagnosis, but I would never have opened my mouth to claim that without professional confirmation. No matter how much obsessive interest research one does, that's not impartial and its not a substitute for qualitative testing.

But OP, you're never going to get much support for your position in an open forum dominated by self-diagnosed 'ultra mild' cases, not serious enough to 'feel the need' to seek formal diagnosis. WP has been overrun with 'disorder of the month club' validation seekers who don't have a real disability but want to feel special. Anytime you call them on it, they're going to crucify you and shout you down.

What I cannot fathom is why anyone whose day-to-day life is not adversely affected by their condition to the point of severely hindering their ability to function feels the need for a label? If it isn't totally screwing up your existence, then why lay claim to a disability? Thank your lucky stars and get on with your life.



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11 Jul 2010, 10:10 pm

Honestly, when I first joined WP, I had a moment's indecision on whether or not to put down "Have Asperger's- Undiagnosed" or "Not Sure if I Have it or Not." I ultimately chose to go with the former, as the evidence indicates that it's *far* more likely that I do have it. Incidentally , I did not diagnose based on the entry in Wikipedia, or even the online quizzes (which do indicate that I'm on the spectrum). I happen to have an MSED in Special Education. I took a graduate level course on ASDs, and the topic of autism came up in several other classes in that program. As much as I've known my whole life that I wasn't *normal,* I really wasn't expecting so much of what I learned about ASDs to relate to me. Once I developed a deeper understanding of ASDs, many odd traits I've been dealing with my entire life began to make sense. There was a reason for fact that I'd struggled socially my entire life, the fact that I've always felt like I'm missing something when I'm with other people, the fact that I've been an outsider in every group, and regarded as "weird" no matter how hard I tried to act "normal." There was a reason for the fact that I've always been obsessed with one thing or another my entire life. There was a reason why I've always been so sensitive to bright sunlight, loud noises, extreme temperatures, visual chaos, certain kinds of touch, being approached suddenly, any sudden moves in my general vicinity, etc, etc, etc. There was a reason why I've always had odd "nervous habits," such as rocking back and forth, jumping up and down while holding on to the back of a chair, playing with the used gum left in the desks of the classrooms in my junior high way back when (I know it was disgusting, but it soothed me so much, I couldn't stop myself) moving my head around to look every which way because I can't figure out where to direct my gaze, etc, etc, etc. I also had a reason why nothing *ever* comes easy to me.
That brings me to my next point: With all due respect, OP, how do you determine whether or not someone is sufficiently impaired to have "earned their place" on WP? I'm genuinely curious about this. Considering my virtually non-existant social life (I can count my friends on one hand without using all my fingers, and said friends are virtually all people I see occasionally), the fact that my apartment constantly looks as if it's been hit by several tornadoes, as it's so difficult for me to organize even the smallest part of it, the fact that I never managed to get my driver's license after repeated attempts, the fact that plenty of seven year olds have better motor skills than mine, the fact that I don't have the energy to do anything other than browse on my computer, read, and sleep after coming home from work, the fact that I can't seem to communicate anything complex without resorting to incoherent run-on sentences, I certainly don't *feel* like I function perfectly.
It's not like my impairments haven't been with me my entire life. As early as preschool, my teacher observed that I wasn't interacting with my peers, that I tended to space out, that my motor skills were lagging, that I was afraid of pretty much everything on the playground. She suggested that my parents should have me evaluated. My uneven skills flummoxed my evaluators. They didn't understand how someone could be so far above age level in some areas, and so far below in others. This was the mid eighties, and I'm a female who presented with advanced verbal skills, so autism was obviously not brought up. I was on an IEP throughout elementary school, and had no friends in school after first grade. After second grade, I pretty much stopped talking in school, because of all the rejection I faced from peers and teachers alike. In fifth grade, I tested as having a Verbal IQ or 127, and a Performance IQ of 75. I wonder how many NTs have gotten *that* result?? At the end of sixth grade, my IEP was thrown away, as I was managing okay academically with a *lot* of help from my Mom, and it was too much paperwork to transfer everything over to the junior high I'd be starting in the Fall. This was 1993, a year before AS was added to the DSM.
I could go on, but I've already been writing this post for nearly an hour, and I should get to bed at a decent hour if I hope to be semi-functional at work tomorrow. My point is, I've been struggling my entire life. I've learned to compensate to a degree, and accomplished some things as a result, but there continue to be significant gaps in my functioning. I honestly left a lot of my struggles out of this, because I've already gone on far too long, and if I included *everything,* this monstrosity would morph into a novel.
To sum up, I decided against putting "Not Sure if I Have it or Not," as that would indicate that I could possibly be NT. In my opinion, that's not a possibility.
I'm not going to assume that anyone here who self-identifies with AS isn't on the spectrum, regardless of how "mild" some might seem. Not everyone here is going to include every detail of their lives. If I haven't walked in another poster's shoes, I can't really make the call as to whether or not they're impaired. Thus, I don't see how this line can be drawn with any accuracy.
I need to stop. This is far, far, far too long, as I'm impaired in my ability to differentiate between the important and unimportant details in regard to making my point. I've been on a thread-killing roll recently, and this post seems likely to continue that trend.


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11 Jul 2010, 11:25 pm

LordoftheMonkeys wrote:
Again, let me repeat that I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN AFFECTED ADVERSELY BY THE DISORDER. I am talking about people who are and have always been completely functional and only have very mild social anxiety or something like that, but who diagnose themselves with asperger's syndrome nonetheless.


I have been negatively impacted by something, but I also have no diagnosis. I feel like I'm caught up in a Catch-22! WrongPlanet has been the biggest source of hope for me in the shortest amount of time!



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11 Jul 2010, 11:30 pm

Meow101 wrote:
LordoftheMonkeys wrote:
Again, let me repeat that I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN AFFECTED ADVERSELY BY THE DISORDER. I am talking about people who are and have always been completely functional and only have very mild social anxiety or something like that, but who diagnose themselves with asperger's syndrome nonetheless.


Then you're not talking about most of the people here.

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11 Jul 2010, 11:34 pm

I'm pretty sure I'd probably be considered "mild" by a lot of people here, due to the fact that I'm pretty good at hiding most of my quirks. While my own difficulties in life aren't as bad as others here, that doesn't mean I don't have them.



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12 Jul 2010, 1:29 am

Why are people who are convinced their condition is the cause of their misery, are also so often convinced that other people with the same condition must be miserable too and hate their condition or their condition isn't real?

There really are a large amount of people who have severe impairments in one area or another, and/or have had really hard lives, and are not completely miserable about it, and may even not want to remove the condition that causes the impairments. Is this so hard to figure out that different people just feel differently?


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12 Jul 2010, 1:57 am

this is getting stupid.

all i do when i open these sorts of topics is check the OP's age. (born: 1989, so Asperger's became a DX when he was about five, and that's all i wanted to know.)


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12 Jul 2010, 7:22 am

It is funny all the reasons-du-jour for self-diagnosis. Today's is "because I am qualified", although nobody can professionally self-diagnose (or self-prescribe), for very good reasons.



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12 Jul 2010, 7:56 am

StuartN wrote:
It is funny all the reasons-du-jour for self-diagnosis. Today's is "because I am qualified", although nobody can professionally self-diagnose (or self-prescribe), for very good reasons.


Actually, you're wrong about self-prescribing. It's done all the time. Not for controlled substances (among reasonable folks, anyway), but other than that, it happens all the time.

And my "second opinion" soundly concurred with mine, so feel free to take that insulting BS and...um...never mind. :roll:

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12 Jul 2010, 7:57 am

This thread makes me sad. Why start a thread which is about tearing some people down? I thought the WrongPlanet was a place of support. :(



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12 Jul 2010, 8:07 am

MotherKnowsBest wrote:
This thread makes me sad. Why start a thread which is about tearing some people down? I thought the WrongPlanet was a place of support. :(


Agreed. I didn't say much on these threads until I had an "official" diagnosis because I didn't want to perpetuate the stereotype of the self-diagnosed attention-seeker. BUT, now that I can't be accused of that, I think it sucks emu eggs that people tear others down like that, in a place that they come for support, and I say so. This crap disproportionately affects those of us who are a bit older (I'm in my 40s and few ppl were even diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid, much less AS, and even now many professionals are reluctant to consider AS in ppl my age).

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12 Jul 2010, 8:30 am

LordoftheMonkeys wrote:
I am a bona fide aspie; I was diagnosed at age 7, and I get annoyed at all these people who diagnose themselves with AS. I'm not talking about those who have the symptoms but just can't afford to see a psychiatrist. I'm talking about people who don't actually suffer from it, meaning they have pretty good social lives, no emotional issues, no sensory problems, no trouble with organizational skills, no OCD or ADHD, have no trouble getting jobs, establishing relationships, etc., but just happen to be slightly more shy and introverted than most people. The thought that someone who has very little trouble in life and has none of the issues I have should be diagnosed with the same disorder as me, someone who has suffered throughout life and continues to struggle to this day, just pi$$es me off to no end. These people get to feel "unique" and "special" without having to deal with all the agony that comes with the disorder.


Amen. If all you are is shy or withdrawn, that's not AS. When you can't get a decent job, can't keep a job because social issues get you fired (or laid off), can't have many friends (or you have to define "friend" as someone who won't object to your hanging around for a couple of hours), etc....THEN you know what it's like to have AS.



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12 Jul 2010, 8:36 am

zer0netgain wrote:
LordoftheMonkeys wrote:
I am a bona fide aspie; I was diagnosed at age 7, and I get annoyed at all these people who diagnose themselves with AS. I'm not talking about those who have the symptoms but just can't afford to see a psychiatrist. I'm talking about people who don't actually suffer from it, meaning they have pretty good social lives, no emotional issues, no sensory problems, no trouble with organizational skills, no OCD or ADHD, have no trouble getting jobs, establishing relationships, etc., but just happen to be slightly more shy and introverted than most people. The thought that someone who has very little trouble in life and has none of the issues I have should be diagnosed with the same disorder as me, someone who has suffered throughout life and continues to struggle to this day, just pi$$es me off to no end. These people get to feel "unique" and "special" without having to deal with all the agony that comes with the disorder.


Amen. If all you are is shy or withdrawn, that's not AS. When you can't get a decent job, can't keep a job because social issues get you fired (or laid off), can't have many friends (or you have to define "friend" as someone who won't object to your hanging around for a couple of hours), etc....THEN you know what it's like to have AS.


I agree with your first complete sentence only. However, job functioning is NOT all there is to life. One can have perfectly fine job functioning and a MESS of a personal life, if one has a special interest that happens to be one that can be turned into a career. *raises hand* And I repeat, what is the point of trying to tear down other people who come here looking for support?

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12 Jul 2010, 8:50 am

StuartN wrote:
It is funny all the reasons-du-jour for self-diagnosis. Today's is "because I am qualified", although nobody can professionally self-diagnose (or self-prescribe), for very good reasons.


Why so much amusement and condescension?

Just about everybody self-diagnoses all the time. How else do you decide whether or not to go to the doctor? Much of the time, a visit to a doctor is simply a means of confirming a diagnosis one has already made. After all, even saying "Something's wrong, but I don't know what," is a limited form of self-diagnosis. If you stub your toe, and look down to see that it is at a 90 degree angle from where it normally is, you don't need xrays to know that it's most likely broken. You may be wrong - it could be dislocated and badly sprained, instead. A professional opinion is needed to confirm your diagnosis, but you made one before you saw the doctor. I could name a dozen different examples: is this a normal headache, a migraine, or a brain tumor? Oh, I cut myself - do I need stitches, or a bandaid? Is this a cold, the flu, or pneumonia?

That said, I will leave my profile as "not sure if I have it or not" until/unless I am formally diagnosed. I may be overlooking another explanation, I may not be sufficiently objective in my self-analysis, etc. But the fact that I'm not a professional doesn't mean I am entirely clueless.



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12 Jul 2010, 9:09 am

another_1 wrote:
StuartN wrote:
It is funny all the reasons-du-jour for self-diagnosis. Today's is "because I am qualified", although nobody can professionally self-diagnose (or self-prescribe), for very good reasons.


Why so much amusement and condescension?



Personal attack = the last refuge of the intellectually unarmed. The fact that he is totally WRONG about whether one can self-diagnose and self-prescribe professionally proves my point.

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