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Lecks
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14 Jul 2010, 10:41 am

A few weeks ago my grandmother's uncle died at the age of 87. I've known him my entire life and have quite fond memories of him, we used to watch operas and snooker together.
I visited him in the hospital near the end but not once did I feel sad, we were still calling eachother names and making snide remarks like usual. At the funeral almost everyone was crying, except one of my grandmother's brothers who never got along with him and me. I was too focused on the tacky funeral parlor to worry about social pressure, absolutely awefull curtains and the carpet was the color of vomit.

Even now I don't feel much when I think about him.



ruveyn
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14 Jul 2010, 10:42 am

Whose death? I rejoice when my enemies perish or suffer. Freudenschade Rulz.

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Kiseki
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14 Jul 2010, 10:43 am

TheDoctor82 wrote:
if there's one thing I hate, it's when others cry and I happen to be around them; they make you part of it, and it feels really awkward.


Yeah, it makes me wanna just run away. I tend to keep my head down at funerals.



Kiseki
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14 Jul 2010, 10:44 am

Friskeygirl wrote:
I cried for weeks after my mom died, when I was 14, and when my dad died 3 years ago. also cry when my pets die


Wow, you are too young to have lost both your parents. I'm sorry :(



donnie_darko
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18 Jul 2010, 6:09 pm

I wish I could cry. I think people who cry a lot are actually less likely to get depressed. and now, I'm depressed. not sure if it's because of my grandma, but i think it has something to do with it - I feel like I haven't honored her in the right way. she was so good and loved me so much. and i can't even give her one tear. :(



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19 Jul 2010, 4:39 am

Pete Quaife passed away, three and a half weeks, ago. I'm still crying about it. I think that one of the myths is that people with autism don't have feelings towards people, and they don't cry, and that really pisses me off, that the experts think that way. I wish that all the experts would die, so that we can take over, and become the experts.


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Celoneth
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19 Jul 2010, 5:17 am

Animal deaths - yes.
Deaths in movies/books - sometimes.
People deaths - very rarely.
I feel emotions differently, I realise, therefore even if I could force myself to cry - it would just be a fake display of emotion - and not honouring the person in any meaningful way (provided that I care enough about the person to want that).



zena4
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19 Jul 2010, 5:23 am

donnie_darko wrote:
she was so good and loved me so much. and i can't even give her one tear. :(

Maybe she would prefer a smile from you or a happy memory to remind you of her?

... Tears will come in their time, if they come a day.
I don't think you have to worry about that.



Sallamandrina
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19 Jul 2010, 5:35 am

donnie_darko wrote:
I wish I could cry. I think people who cry a lot are actually less likely to get depressed. and now, I'm depressed. not sure if it's because of my grandma, but i think it has something to do with it - I feel like I haven't honored her in the right way. she was so good and loved me so much. and i can't even give her one tear. :(


Don't beat yourself over it. Crying is expected, but it doesn't necessarily prove the depth of someone's feelings. I've seen people crying their eyes out at some really corny movie and this never stopped them from treating others with cruelty and ruthlessness.

Different people express their sorrow in different ways. Don't add guilt to your loss. Grieve for your grandmother the way it comes naturally to you. Think about her once in a while - remembering her along the years for everything that was good in her can be a beautiful way of honouring her.


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CowboyFromHell
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19 Jul 2010, 12:33 pm

I've never been a person who cried much. I have more empathy than the typical Aspie and have no lack of visible emotion, but just not any more than the average population.

In fact the odds are I'd cry more for others' issues than over my own. The past few years have been a bit harder on me. The stress of today's society what with death pretty much being everywhere. I did while watching Steve Irwin's daughter eulogized him at his memorial service. The first time I saw a news report on Michael Jackson. And I bawled like hell when I found out about Paul Gray (Slipknot's bassist)

Obviously the times are hard when I cry at movies/TV. I've never been the type to do this. Yesterday I was watching an episode of Stargate Atlantis where a main character died, and... yeah. Then after a line of script spoken by another, I went off again.


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19 Jul 2010, 2:04 pm

I haven't experienced too much death in my life (knock on wood), but no, it doesn't really bother me too much.

When my Grandpa died, whom I loved dearly and miss terribly, I didn't cry at all. I was sad, but I didn't cry.

However, when my dog of seven years died, I screamed and fell on the floor and clung onto his body for six hours until my family released my grasp and buried him in the backyard...

I know I'm going to react even worse when my cat, whom I see as my familiar, dies. I just won't be able to handle it. I love my Sugar Booger!

But otherwise, eh. Doesn't bug me. I'll cry when my parents die, though. I know that much. Otherwise, I won't cry when cousins, aunts or uncles, or my friends die.


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19 Jul 2010, 2:11 pm

I work VERY hard on filtering [not suppressing] emotional input and output. I have come to the tearing up point for at least one friend, a few relatives, a couple well accustomed pets. I would cry more if at such junctures I let go.

But on the other hand, other deaths [eg my mother] have moved me very little. A lot of it is how the death process has gone.



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19 Jul 2010, 2:32 pm

I cried a little when my dog had to be put to sleep but it would have been cruel to keep him alive because he was suffering so much. He had a tumor in his spleen which could have ruptured any time and I think that would have been a slow and agnozing death. Having him put to sleep was better. I think it's a selfish thing when people cry when pets or relatives die. Even if heaven is just an idea, this world is just too cruel to exhist in. As a child I was constantaly told how great heaven is and was confused when people were sad for realtives who died and afraid of death and still am.


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Agnieszka
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19 Jul 2010, 2:36 pm

Yes, it makes me cry.


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19 Jul 2010, 2:37 pm

I'm an emmotional wreck but it's also kind of comforting to know that there is something inside when all I hear from people is that I'm like a robot. I never cried for my grampa when he died 20 years ago, but I did for my grandma who was widowed. Now she just passed away in march and still get teary. I used to be emotionaly tied to pets but have definately grown out of that...see my thread "animal cruelty"



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19 Jul 2010, 2:39 pm

I'm an emmotional wreck but it's also kind of comforting to know that there is something inside when all I hear from people is that I'm like a robot. I never cried for my grampa when he died 20 years ago, but I did for my grandma who was widowed. Now she just passed away in march and still get teary. I used to be emotionaly tied to pets but have definately grown out of that...see my thread "animal cruelty"