Can you live independently?
I wish i could answer a yes that i could live independently, however the past 5 years i've been used to my gf taking care of me, and prior to that my case worker.
I tend to not wake up well (alarm clocks are irrelevant) i can drive yet i don't usually do it. I need to snap out of it and start doing things again. If i had to i could live independently especially if i set all the bills to pull out automatically so that way i don't forget. Half the time i don't know what day it is. I don't cook well at all. My gf does the cooking.
I can use a bbq grill to cook just fine (no propane)
Half of me is scared of having to live independently yet the other half of me wants to. Its bizarre...
whirlingmind
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Joined: 25 Oct 2007
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,130
Location: 3rd rock from the sun
I have lived independently. However, I became very reclusive and had I not been working I would probably have not interacted with another human being other than a shopkeeper or bus driver etc. when needed.
I also struggled on a low income, and at times ate some odd things when I was hungry and ran out of food, such as peas on toast (yes they did roll all over the place ), onions on toast and one time I lived on Pot Noodles when I was sacked from my job unfairly and didn't know how to deal with problems with the mistakes they made with my benefits, and went down to 7.5 stone which was almost emaciated.
I also did not know my rights in any way, and when found the rental agency sending their staff round to let themselves in unknown to me, because I was off sick in bed and they put the key in the door, I didn't know how to stand up for myself and let people walk over me.
I also struggled with knowing when people were taking advantage of me.
Overall, it was not the best experience, even if I did manage to pay my rent (all inclusive of bills luckily) and I am a very high-functioning Aspie.
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*Truth fears no trial*
DX AS & both daughters on the autistic spectrum
I live with my NT partner and my 5 year old son. I usually feel very overwhelmed at everything I need to get done and have a hard time prioritizing. My partner doesn't really understand why I can't get everything done around the house but it is partly to do with me going to school full-time for my bachelor's degree and she is blue collar and doesn't seem to understand how hard it is. That said, I do lose a lot of time trying to figure out what is most important to do at a particular moment and end up jumping from task to task not getting any of them finished.
I'm also very much out of sight out of mind. I burn food because I walk away to do something else "quick" and forget. I forget there's a stack of dishes to wash until I'm getting ready for bed and go to turn the kitchen light out. So, I'm frequently washing dishes in the middle of the night. Everybody I've ever lived with (parents, roommates, spouse, partner) gets frustrated with my inability to stay on top of everything that needs to be done. Sometimes I do wonder if I'm being given more than my share of household responsibilities but it seems to be the same fights over the years no matter who I'm currently living with so it probably is me. The first thing I'm going to do if I get a decent job after I graduate is hire a maid.
Living skills are something that deeply frightings me when I graduate from high school and I don't have the skills that most young adults have at this point in time of life. For instence, I don't even have my driver's permit yet, which is flat out embrassing when you are trying to fit in with the crowd. My other adaptive weakness is trying to cook meals, where I can't even cook simple meals such as pasta because no one has ever taught me to
Folks, this is why I keep saying to myself that I'm ret*d.
I have always kept it very, very simple. That's what's helped me maintain it. Keeping it simple. Yeah, I sometimes feel like I'm hanging by a thread and it'll all come crashing down around me, but so far, so good.
That's me with things like getting locked out, runnin out of petrol, messing up my finances thrown in
I'm no good at housework. My mother used to do it every so often plus a lot of my laundry and ironing and the person I live with has taken over that role now.
I am good with managing the money and bills - anything administrative and I do the cooking. So by focusing on what we do best most things get covered ok.
I do feel guilty as the housework is far more of a physical task than the administration type stuff but i just hate housework.
I can do it if I really need to but will generally avoid it like the plague!
If anything administrative needs dealing with though I enjoy doing that whereas I know a lot of people hate having to deal with paperwork and phone calls. It's no hardship to me though.
I have lived in my house on my own for certain periods of time but my parents were there in the background and they did my food shopping for me, bringing it over at the weekend and my Mother would do housework and they did gardening for me as well. My Mother generally oversaw the upkeep of my house too - they paid for any repairs that needed doing and either did decorating themselves or paid for it.
So I was very supported.
Now My Mother has died and my Father is in a care home and it's all down to me and my friend. I feel a bit cast adrift and scared as if I didn't have my friend living with me I'd feel very vulnerable. I can't drive so I'd lose use of the car to get shopping and get to appointments etc. I'd be vulnerable to anyone who wanted to get their feet under the table in my house - I have a real fear of being left at the mercy of someone horrible, as I had a previous boyfriend living with me who was sometimes violent and it was very hard to get him to leave.
So I can be independent but it is a big strain on me and I don't like it. I need someone to be acting as a parental figure as I don't cope well on my own.
CyborgUprising
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Joined: 16 Jun 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,963
Location: auf der Fahrt durch Niemandsland
Tyri0n
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Joined: 24 Nov 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,879
Location: Douchebag Capital of the World (aka Washington D.C.)
Yes! Me too!
A man needs a maid to quote Neil Young. A maid would be nice, doing the dishes every day is a pain. But I think I would be fine or almost fine if I just had a dishwasher.
But to answer the question; I live idepentently and have for several years. I like it quite a lot, the only problem is having energy to do all the household work. And also lonelyness from time to time. But I think it's worth it to have an entire aparment to myself. =D
I have lived independently since i was 18, yes it was a struggle and i spend some time in my late 20s in shelters.. but my home life was worse.. I have learned how to fake the normality long enough to be able to hold down work,,,,, im not the best housekeeper,, but I do pick up and clean,, i find making job lists and crossing them off helps me a lot in doing stuff,, and im old enough to have worked out the necessary accommodations,, my life would have been a lot better and different if I had been NT but ive managed to support myself and make a way in the NT world...
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restless spirit on an endless flight
I don't know. I often wonder if I could live on my own. I now live with my partner, and that is going very well, but he is in charge of the money and most paperwork etc. and he makes sure things run well.
I did live on my own from the age of 19 to 37, and that was not a great success. I got into money problems, my house was dirty and messy and I failed to throw things away, I didn't finish my education and couldn't keep a job. I suffered terrible depressions and self-harmed a lot.
When I was in my early to mid-thirties I had a designated professional managing my money, and my mother helped me with organizing the housekeeping (I did the physical work - she just told me what to do at what time, and she supervised me). My mother was not happy about this. She said that she had expected to not have to look after me anymore at that age.
On the bright side, I am a very good mother!
HereBeDragons
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Joined: 2 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 563
Location: Above all low delay
Mmuffinn
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 4 Oct 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 181
Location: Ontario, Canada
I live alone in an apartment with my cat. I have trouble keeping up with chores and have a prompt book to help me, but my mom still comes by and cleans once a week. I always remember to pay my rent, and all my other bills come directly out of my bank account. My parents help me go grocery shopping and help me get out of the house. I don't work, I'm on disability, and sometimes my parents have to help me out with a little bit of money. I don't eat very healthy most of the time, but I get enough to eat. My cat is very well taken care of. I have a case worker who helps me keep track of my mood issues since I have alexithymia. I find it exhausting having to remember to do everything myself, but I like living alone much better than living with my parents. I wouldn't be able to do it without them, though.
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Diagnosed with aspergers January 17, 2012. Diagnosed with depression in 1998. I just started a blog: http://depressiveaspiegirl.blogspot.com
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