Why is talking on the phone so difficult for us?

Page 3 of 5 [ 61 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

starquake
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2009
Gender: Robot
Posts: 122

19 Jul 2010, 1:35 pm

I hate to call too. Usually unless it's a must, I ask my fiancee to do the phone call instead of me. If I really have to call myself, usually at the end I find that I can't remember the details of the phone call at all. Once I had to call back my mechanic right after I called him, because I did not remember the time when I had to take my car away from him. So now I usually grab some paper and pen, and if I hear any date/time or place, I write it down right away.



AMDeering
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 77
Location: Indiana

19 Jul 2010, 1:51 pm

It depends with me.

I don't mind if a friend or someone in the family calls to ask me a question. I don't even mind if a friend wants to chat for a bit (unless I am being all introverted, which I usually am, then I just turn my phone off).

I hate, however, talking to businesses and such on the phone. :( I get so scared and start stuttering. It's embarrassing.


_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"


pgd
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,624

19 Jul 2010, 7:40 pm

Possibilities - central auditory processing disorder (CAPD)? Some persons with CAPD do better face to face because they can partially lip read which is not possible over the phone.



_Square_Peg_
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 640
Location: in a round hole

19 Jul 2010, 8:11 pm

The thing with me is that it's not just on the phone, but talking in general I hate. I'm a visual thinker, and I absolutely hate the way my voice sounds, so communicating vocally is like hell for me. I stutter, say one thing when I mean the other, forget the right wording, etc.



SoSayWeAll
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 623

19 Jul 2010, 8:24 pm

Seattle_Chris wrote:
I have to use the phone at work as well. As long as it's a matter I already have a script for, such as "You need to contact THESE people, here's their number, good bye" I don't mind the phone. I think the thing I don't like, is that it takes me a few seconds to process what the other end is saying. And if you don't answer fast enough, they think you're not listening or that you're stupid. So I tend to push myself to say something fast enough to avoid that, which means I wasn't able to think of anything useful to say. So I present myself in FAR from the fairest light possible when on the phone.

Come to think of it, I think it may also have to do with voices on the phone being a different frequency or something that makes them hard to understand.


On the phone, there's a compressed frequency range--the midrange is really all you get, and sounds lose their distinctiveness. And if you already don't process things all that well just by hearing, it's not going to do you any favors being on a phone. And cell phones are even worse.

I hear you about the lag time it takes to process. It helps me to have a script, or know the subject of the call beforehand. When I get calls where I don't know the subject ahead of time, it can take me FOREVER to "lock on."

In person, I'm actually pretty decent with accents and things people find difficult--I think it's because a) I have the full frequency range and I catch onto intonation patterns quickly and b) I can partially lipread. (I think I may fit pgd's description for CAPD in that regard.)


_________________
Official diagnosis: ADHD, synesthesia. Aspie quiz result (unofficial test): Like Frodo--I'm a halfling? ;) 110/200 NT, 109/200 Aspie.


Maddino87
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jan 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 419
Location: Chapel Hill, NC

19 Jul 2010, 8:35 pm

I always get worked up about phone calls, but only if I am the one making the call. When I worked at the deli I had no problems at all making a call.

At work, I didn't have a problem calling the customer to review over a change in order or to answer previously unanswered questions. I knew what info I had to provide.
However at home, it's different since I don't do business there, and I become very hesitant making calls over financial matters, chatting with people, etc. I cannot expect or predict how people react since I haven't done it previously.



BNineFounder
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jul 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 39
Location: Big Owie, California USA

19 Jul 2010, 9:18 pm

I despise phone calls...it's even hard to talk to my wife on the phone. When I was young, my dad had a home business and when he wasn't home I would be forced to answer the business phone and take absolutely perfect messages or I'd be in trouble. I don't process speech very well so written communications have always been my preferred mode.

I also get distracted, both from non-verbal sounds from the other caller's end, as well as my environment. I really hate talking on the phone!! !



webster
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 175
Location: U.K

19 Jul 2010, 10:13 pm

Why Do We Have Trouble Ordering A Take Away For E.g

Because We Wouldnt Just Walk Up To The Guy In The Pizza Place And Talk To Him So Why Should The Interaction Be Any Different On The Phone.


_________________
"A learned man takes the essence of knowledge from all places, just as a bumblebee
collects honey from each and every flower."


AMDeering
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 77
Location: Indiana

19 Jul 2010, 10:28 pm

I completely agree with above posters saying that a script beforehand is helpful. I have to have a script before I call someone.

On the other hand, I had a lovely off-topic conversation with a Netflix employee when I called their company about a billing question and ended up getting a free month of service. Go, go Netflix!


_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"


Free-Hinter-System
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2010
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 167

19 Jul 2010, 11:26 pm

I am quite literally terrified of the phone. I get extremely stressed at the sound of a phone ringing. Its really hard for me to understand people speaking on the phone.

EDIT: Fixed grammatical error ("when at", oversight)



Last edited by Free-Hinter-System on 20 Jul 2010, 3:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

RainSong
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2006
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,879
Location: Ohio

20 Jul 2010, 12:01 am

I process what people say about ten to thirty seconds after they say it, with longer times being linked to the less often I hear someone/their accent. My immediate family is the only ones I don't have that delay with.

I find the phone makes it harder to hear clearly, which delays my reaction even longer. I also have a much harder time because I rely quite heavily upon awkward smiles and shrugs, and people can't see those through a phone. I can concentrate on a wall when I'm talking to someone in person, and the distraction helps me, but I need to pay complete attention to the phone, which messes me up.


_________________
"Nothing worth having is easy."

Three years!


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 23,775
Location: Pacific Northwest

20 Jul 2010, 12:11 am

I hate talking on the phone because it takes up my time and I can't watch TV or listen to music if I am on the phone and I can't even do anything else like the internet and sometimes it's hard to hear what they are saying. I despise the phone.

This morning I had to use about 20 minutes of my free time making four phone calls because I had to schedule three appointments and talk to Social Security.

Only time I like talking on the phone is if it's to my parents. I plan them in. :P



crocus
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 352
Location: Canada

20 Jul 2010, 12:57 am

Reasons I dislike the phone and only use it when necessary:

1.) The sound quality is terrible and I have difficulty understanding what the other person is saying. It's worse if I don't know the person and their speech quality, voice and accent. The sound quality is so terrible that I often don't even recognize the voices of family members right away.

2.) The handheld speaker so close to my ear bothers me and hurts my ear.

3.) I have great difficulty with auditory comprehension through a handheld when there are other sounds in the room. It can drive me mad. I have to cover my other ear; stick my finger in my other ear; or if I plan a call I have to go into a silent room by myself with the door shut.

4.) The lack of visual cues leads to my not knowing when to speak, so there is either talking over or awkward pauses.

5.) and this:

JetLag wrote:
I think one of the reasons that I haven't been able to make peace with the telephone is that phone calls usually come unexpectedly and without any advanced notice; and they almost always interrupt a routine that I'm too eagerly engaged in doing at the time to even want to be doing anything else.


Thank heaven for answering machines and call display. One thing that really bothers me is someone else in the house answering a call that's for me when I'm not available (ie. doing something else) and then just blithely walking up with a phone receiver in hand, sticking it at me with a, "It's for you." 8O and I have no clue who is on the other end of the line.



Wogar
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 106
Location: Canada

20 Jul 2010, 3:24 pm

While just talking on the phone doesn't bother me, remembering later what was said is a problem. This, I believe, stems from an early problem speaking in which I would try to talk and listen and think at the same time. Eventually, I figured out how to talk on the fly, without over-analyzing what was being said. The trouble now is that when I speak on the phone, I occasionally tell people things that I'm not supposed to, except nobody told me not to. Also I have trouble remembering messages if I don't write them down right away.


_________________
Standing on the Fifth Dimension.


KaiG
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,045
Location: Berkshire, UK.

20 Jul 2010, 3:53 pm

I can't carry a social phone call, but I am great on the phone if it has a specific purpose.


_________________
If songs were lines in a conversation, the situation would be fine.