Alternative dress, and open mindedness of others

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Flaggy
Snowy Owl
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25 Jul 2010, 12:00 pm

Hi there all

I am AS, and I am also very open minded towards other people, and difference

My questions are - why do people try to make me dress how they want me to?
Why do people not care for my happiness, only that I am not making them uncomfortable with what I choose to wear?

Here is what I wear most of the time, I have several sets of this same outfit so I can keep alternatng
Image


I am completley obsessed with, and In love with the Statue of Liberty.. She makes me feel so good, and as part of that, I like to dress like her - not only for the reason that I look more like her, but also for sensory reasons

I have many difficulties with materials and people, etc, touching me- alot of clothing I can't wear because it just feels nasty, or makes me very unfcomfortable

If I get a piece of clothing like that I simply cannot deal with it, and have to take it off,...
Similarly, if I get a piece of clothing which I love the feel of, I never want to take it off!

My choice of clothing has a nice feel to it, like a velvety soft material, that sways in all the right places, and I can put my hand on the drape part and knead it in my hand and it makes me very happy. I also like my crown, how it sits on my head and I like playing with the soft foam spikes
I like holding my torch too, that is made of latex.. I don't usually carry the piece of card, that was just for the photo shoot I did

I wear my clothing inside and outside, thee is only certain occasions where I cant wear it, or that I feel it inappropriate to - such as a posh meal, or to work, and I understand the reasons for that, and conform, even though I hate conforming.


I am an open minded person, who has friends from all walks of life, (or all WHEELS in the case of Alin S.. :-P) and I am accepting of people no matter what their choices are. The only thing I dont like is people hurting one another or animals etc.

Being so open minded as I am, means that I cannot understand closed minded people, and why some people have such a problem with what I choose to wear

Why should i have to constantly endure a fight for my beliefs and my choice to wear what I want and be the person that I am?



Strapples
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25 Jul 2010, 12:17 pm

ugh flaggy / manda. i am on the same boat you are... lets take for example my neoprene shirt. people at the hospital gawk at me and stuff for wearing something that is COMFORTING TO ME and helps me KEEP WARM IN THE WINTER. i am sick and tired of fighting for my right to wear what i want and need to without being gawked at.

whos up for a big government law thingy change thingy? add a constitutional right?

EDIT: by the way I am extremely open minded just like you, i accept anyone for who and what they are. As long as they don't seek to hurt me they can become a friend. No matter what sexual orientation, what clothing, what ANYTHING.


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Snowy Owl
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25 Jul 2010, 12:35 pm

Maybe it would help for me to put this into context too, with the conversation that resulted in me posting here

Me
we must meet again.. for longer than 5 minutes next time
16:57Patricia
yes but I'd like to meet you as you
16:57Me
what does that mean
who else am i, other than me
16:57Patricia
not dressed up as liberty
16:57Me
oh right
i am me when i am dresed like her..
16:58Patricia:
when people dress up - as I do sometimes - its to become a different character - not yourself
17:01Me
oh
so then you become a different charachter whatever you wear then
17:03Me
i enjoy dressing up.. it makes me feel good.. but it seems to count for nothing with most ppl
17:03Me
i just dont get why people always want me to look like they do
17:05Patricia
but you have to understand peoples reactions and take that into account
and you dont have to dress as others want you to do - thats why there are so many different fashions to choose from
17:05Me
why
17:05Patricia
you dress in what suits you and feels good
17:05Me
yea. and I chose mine..
yea.. my liberty costume suits me.. lot of my friends have said so and it difintaly feels good too
17:07Me
i have alot of sensory difficulties, specifically around touch, which makes alot of material and feelings uncomfortable for me
theres lot of clothes I cant wear because they either dont look good, or dont feel good
17:08Me
my liberty costume feels good.. i like it that ist covers my body just about ands theres nice loose bits of the velvety material i can play with with my hand.. also my crown i love the feel of the foam, and the way it sits on my head
17:09Patricia
I thought the pic of you when you first met (tim) and (sara) was really nice - you looked good and comfy and happy enough
17:09Me
i was happy cos i had met them..
i hated those clothes and couldent wait to get out of them.. i put my liberty costume back on as soon as i had an opportunity
17:10Me
i wore it cos i didnt want to make them unconfortable.. but it seems to me, like nobody cares if I am uncomfortable
17:13Me
i think i must think differently to the majority of the population.. I have a broad open mind, and i am willing to accept difference
wheras i think most people are tuned in to try and be like one another
17:13Patricia
I am sure thats not true - but you have to consider other peoples feelings as well as your own and make compromises then everbodys happy
17:14Me
and im willing to do that
17:14Patricia
thats ok then
17:14Me
but i dont understand why people cant be happy for me to wear what I choose
i am not doing any harm
17:14Patricia
no you're not
17:14Me
thats the question no1 can answer
i am happy for others to wear what they like
id never make any1 wear what I wear, if they didn't want to
17:21Patricia
Goodness Amanda - you have an answer for everything - I give up!! But seriously when we next meet I'd rather see you in what you wore when you first met (tim) and (sara)! and not be distracted from getting to know you by your liberty outfit.
17:21Me
ive had to learn to have an answer for everything.. because i like to try and get people to see it from my point of view
but only a small portion of people want to



Strapples
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25 Jul 2010, 12:47 pm

all i have to say about this Patricia character... what a case... they should just freaking get over it and respect it. just sit back and shut up.


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Snowy Owl
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25 Jul 2010, 12:48 pm

whats worse, is that she doesnt even know me.. she met me once for 5 minutes, and then is already asking me to not wear what makes my comfortable



Peko
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25 Jul 2010, 12:57 pm

I think a lot of people are just uncomfortable with those who are openly different. Though you dress nothing like my friends, your eccentricities would make you fit right in :D. I've noticed artists tend to be more open minded, so if you want a group of friends who are accepting try the artsy or art/nerd mix crowd. Felling comfortable with yourself, good for you! :D


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Strapples
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25 Jul 2010, 12:59 pm

reading further into your post its also a SENSORY need. so try to explain it to this patricia woman that it physically is comforting for you.


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Snowy Owl
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25 Jul 2010, 1:07 pm

I am officially eccentric, thats for sure, i looked of the UK eccentrics club website the other day, and I tick near all the boxes for defining an an eccentric!

I am me, and I am proud to be who I am.

I am an artist, and musician
I have plenty of friends and some family who accept me as I am..

Alin - yes - it is as much a sensory need as it it is a need to look like my Liberty



Strapples
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25 Jul 2010, 1:09 pm

eccentric... and yet you needed a test to define that... LMFAO!! :lol:

I know i am eccentric as hell without ticking boxes!


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Snowy Owl
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25 Jul 2010, 1:10 pm

LOL, well so did i, but i am OFFICIALLY, as well as knowing myself hahaha



Strapples
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25 Jul 2010, 1:12 pm

wheres this official thing so i can make it official :P


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Snowy Owl
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Strapples
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25 Jul 2010, 1:22 pm

i checked off all 15 thijngs thus officially eccentric :P


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jmnixon95
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25 Jul 2010, 1:26 pm

Meh. As far as clothing goes, I just wear polos all the time. I don't dress up in any sort of costume. All I get is, 'Why don't you wear something different for a change?' (Pun intended? No clue.)



Strapples
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25 Jul 2010, 1:28 pm

lol. are you talking about those collared shirts with buttons. ugh those bother me so much. but glad that you like them


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check out my website at http://www.alinssite.info and my forum at http://www.disabledplanet.alinssite.info

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know. :roll:

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Snowy Owl
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25 Jul 2010, 1:35 pm

those would bother me from a sensory point of view.. buttons, no no - and collars definatly a nono!! ! at work I wear a t shirt under my shirt.. no annoying button scratching me, and the collar i fold it down so its not around my neck