My Aspie Situation Has Benefited From The Internet

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Greetings,

I introduced myself - kinda - on the intro board, and now I'd like to make an observation.
I have had the internet since 2003 and in my opinion it has been a colossal advantage to me, with regard to my ability to interact with other people.
In fact,
I would even say it ALMOST levels the playing field for me.
However,
a woman who leads an aspie group told me that for her it's just the opposite; she says the internet brings out her aspie qualities even more prominently.

So I just thought that to be an intriguing difference.

I'll admit there are still social situations on the internet which intimidate me, such as when I get IM'ed on FB by friends I don't know too well, whom I only added to play Mafia Wars.
But overall,
I feel the internet has been instrumental in helping me to understand better how a typical person's mind works.

Hmmm...I don't know if it gives any particular insight into the minds of the neurotypical, but I do find communication somewhat easier - at least from my end - I'm better able to compose my thoughts and express myself coherently without getting flustered and losing my thread. In most cases, I'd rather deal with people, especially people I don't know - by email, than having to talk to them on the phone, and that's even easier than having to go actually meet them.

OTOH, I worry that online sometimes I can be a tad snarky and mean when in RL I'd just keep my mouth shut. Its easy for me to find myself using the keyboard as a blunt instrument and articulately bashing away without realizing until later that what seemed amusingly sarcastic at the time may have come across as cruel.

I do still have panic attacks sometimes when I get emails or PMs from certain people, if I think the message may be bad news, or angry criticism. I have left some messages unread for days because I was afraid of what they might contain. Usually, its nothing anywhere nearly as bad as I was expecting, and I know that's what's likely all along, still the anxiety will overwhelm me. At least in person, if someone's gonna b*tch at you, they just do it and then its over, so I don't know which is better.

This is the first (and only) online community I've joined. No desire for Facebook, MySpace or any others.

I've been here since May and I have to say that I agree with you. I don't have that many friends IRL, but I find myself with many here.

Welcome to WP, btw.

Well, one of the ways the internet helps me understand the workings of a typical person's mind is ...I see what sorts of things command their attention vs. what goes unnoticed. This is very instructive - maybe for me more than other people, because of my niche marketing activities.
YES,
I totally 100% relate to your hierarchy of preferences [email best, then phone, then in person].

Restraining snarkiness is something which takes effort from everyone, aspie and NT alike. There are those times when it's best to write what's on our mind and then press Cancel.
OTOH,
we can often get our cheeky little item in there by softening it with an emoticon.
Thank heavens, eh ? We would not want to deprive the online world of our wit !

Finally, yes I know whatcha mean about the dread of nasty replies or instant messages; there have been a couple of occasions on which I've asked my husband to read one before I do, so he could tell me if it were too awful or not [that was back when I used to knock my head against a wall participating on a current events message board].

conundrum,
Thank you for the welcome
: )
I like your location and I like your signature, very much.

I've been interacting online since dinosaur times with AOL and the dial-up modems
And yes it is much easier - it's easier to type, it's easier in not having to deal with non-verbal language. I don't have to talk and I don't have as much anxiety - and it brings out the best parts of my Aspieness - my humour and my intelligence which are more difficult in face-to-face conversation.
IM and chatrooms can be quite confusing though.

Personally, I feel instant messaging is the most comfortable form of communication for me. I feel I'm able to express myself much more easily and accurately when I have the ability to type it out.

Oh yes, Celoneth, chatrooms were the pits when I tried them !
And you're so right about intelligence online vs. face to face; I remember once being chastised by a person who told me to 'stop flaunting my college education at her' - this was in a face to face - just because I used a word she didn't know.
Well, I'm not sure what time it is for most of you, but here it's late evening and time to take our walk before dinner so ttyl8r !

Hi DonDud,
Instant messaging, the one which pops up ...or personal messaging like email ?
Out now but maybe when I come back I'll see.

You're welcome, and thanks!

I would be really scared to see how I would have turned out without the internet. It has taught me so much.

Life has been a lot easier for me, since I've joined this place, six summers, ago. Before than, I was a misfit, with nowhere to turn. My situation has improved immensely, since I've found this place.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

I find communicating on the internet to be a minefield. It's too easy to send someone a nasty tirade that I would never say to them in person. And the computer is too handy. The temptation to send off an email whenever I am fuming about something is everpresent,. I have a short fuse -- which is probably due to meltdowns, in retrospect, -- and then I go off on people. I used to be on a forum with a lot of immature, snarky, people that pissed me off frequently. Luckily I have never been upset with anyone here on WP. It's a very civil and intelligent place (except for occasional trolls, and I don't really care about them).

I used to talk by IM a lot with a former friend, even though she lived nearby, because it made me too nervous to talk to her on the phone, and I enjoyed it, but IM communication is very prone to misunderstandings, much more so than face to face interaction.

I also have trouble figuring out when an email requires a reply. Sometimes I'll exchange a few emails with someone and then the conversation seems over to me, but I'm never quite sure. I often goof in that situation.

It's definitely my safe zone. You can pick up a lot from hanging around on different forums and that's kind of like a giant social experiment.

I think It's good if it doesn't keep you away from the real world too much, I tend to get sucked in.

I'm glad you know how lucky you are.
As a middle-aged woman, I spent my whole youth ...really I have gone through the whole first half of my life - without it.
And let me tell you (if I may be blunt),
it sucked a$$. There were some very lonely times.
When you're not a social person, how cold the days can seem when you must stay over Christmas vacation in a town where you went for college and know nobody.
How alienating the laughter from the rec room is to someone who just doesn't find the jokes all that funny.
Or later,
how isolated you can be as a stay-home mother of a young baby !
Thank God for rocknroll, and certain paper reading material; otherwise who knows if I would have been able to keep afloat.

Thank you, Cockney Rebel
: )