Any advice please?

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Hi Everyone,

I thought I’d come here for some support and advice as I’ve been having some difficulties, and am not sure whether I am autistic or not.

Long story short, I’m 32 and generally have had no major problems or issues in my life until the age of 25. My childhood was fairly normal, had friends, did quite well at school, was very quiet and shy. But quite well liked. I started to notice maybe that i’m a bit different than some others at uni but again didn’t have any problems. Had a good time, got on with flatmates, got a degree.

Problems only started at my second job in the workplace (banking sector). I started to notice that I was a lot quieter than others and kept to myself a lot. I also started getting bullied and harassed for the first time in my life - this ended with me leaving. After that I started to think that I may be slightly autistic.

Since then I have pretty much been made to feel unwelcome and repeatedly bullied and harassed in every work place that I entered. I never felt like I “Fitted in”. In my current job I’m being bullied and harassed again, it is very subtle but people riddicule and make a lot of negative comments around me.

I do struggle with social interaction. I find it hard to keep a conversation going for more than 5 mins and can’t really do groups. I find most people to be pretty boring, untrustworthy and have no moral compass. I tend to isolate myself where I can.

I have an AQ score of 22.

Not really a long story short, but what do you think?

According to the internet:

In terms of the distribution of the scores of the general population, it can be said that getting a score of: 11 – 21 is the average score for most of the population. 22 – 25 Indicates that one has slightly higher than average autistic traits. 26 – 31 Is a borderline score.

So I would interpret a score of 22 as not autistic but with a few autistic traits.

What are some examples of the bullying you've experienced. Often, one can mistake simple light-hearted banter for bullying.

Thanks for your replys.

quite an extreme - I do care about making the right about of eye contact with others. It would be nice if people had empathy towards me. I try and stay upbeat, I do crack jokes occasionally. Think my dress sense is ok, not brilliant. I try and make small talk with colleagues, I'm not the best at it. However, non of this seems to matter if you have been targetted.

Prometheus18 - It's mainly riddicule, and pretty nasty comments about me. All within earshot and behind my back. Nothing to my face, it's not banter.

Can you give more detail about the nasty comments? Can you quote or paraphrase and then give us a description of the people and what their jobs are, and what those jobs are in relation to yours?

And more detail about when and where you feel discomfort? Examples could include situations or physical environments.

It could be that you are working for the wrong companies. Different companies have different cultures. Some cultures don't accept anyone who is different.

SocOfAutism - Just the usual - freak, disgusting, gay, piss off, f*ck off, die, hes dead, go away. Nasty comments. Alot of it comes from "peers" but managment are behind it. Most of the people are probably younger than me. We all have different job roles but most people are at the same level. I feel discomfort in open office environments, and most group social events. Recently just going out in public has become difficult.

BTDT - Probably, financial sector is pretty cut throat. I have worked in a few industries though and have yet to find any place i truly feel welcome, or at ease.

shortfatbalduglyman - your username made me Laugh

quite an extreme - narcissists, sociopaths and sadists don't. I have a right to feel how I feel. If people don't like it then no ones forcing them to interact.

Other than starting my own business/working from home I can't envisage being in a workplace and not being bullied and harassed at this point.

quite an extreme - It's not body odor. You're saying i get bullied and harassed because i'm not fun enough?

People do tend to mirror your behaviors. Which can lead to a nasty downward spiral.

Even in cutthroat cultures there is usually a set of unwritten rules to follow. You break them at your own peril.
In the USA this is most obvious in the sport of baseball. Breaking the "unwritten" rules may result in a baseball being thrown uncomfortably close to your head.

BTDT - Well if I'm breaking unwritten rules, I'm not aware of it. Neither has anyone told me that I'm doing anything wrong. What unwritten rules do you think I may have broken in an office environment? These people are mirroring what bad behaviors in me?

quite an extreme - I think it's pretty sad that you're trying to justify bullying and harassment. I would treat both guys the same. The second may be more pleasant to be around but if i saw the first type being bullied and harassed, I would think it is out of order.

There's a lot of blaming the victim going on here, and you're making a lot of negative assumptions about my own behavior. I'm not sure why I posted here. I guess it was to see if I may be slightly autistic and anyone could relate to my experiences.