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FedUpAsp
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17 Jun 2013, 5:43 pm

Time for a place like this.



MathGirl
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17 Jun 2013, 6:14 pm

sunshower wrote:
I find it depressing but not particularly surprising that only about two people on this thread seemed uneasy about deliberately discluding "NT's" from entry to the bar. Set up "Aspie" rules & an "Aspie" friendly atmosphere by all means, but anyone should be allowed entry so long as they follow the rules & behave appropriately. Honestly, I get wrongfully accused left right and center of elitism when casual discrimination and ingroup/out-group thinking proliferates this site. Reading this kind of stuff just annoys me. It's possible to develop a positive autism community without engaging in elitist & discriminatory behaviour.
I think if NTs get let in, they should follow a certain code of honesty, directness, and respect. And no discriminatory behaviour from ASD people toward the NTs should be allowed, either.


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17 Jun 2013, 6:44 pm

MathGirl wrote:
sunshower wrote:
I find it depressing but not particularly surprising that only about two people on this thread seemed uneasy about deliberately discluding "NT's" from entry to the bar. Set up "Aspie" rules & an "Aspie" friendly atmosphere by all means, but anyone should be allowed entry so long as they follow the rules & behave appropriately. Honestly, I get wrongfully accused left right and center of elitism when casual discrimination and ingroup/out-group thinking proliferates this site. Reading this kind of stuff just annoys me. It's possible to develop a positive autism community without engaging in elitist & discriminatory behaviour.
I think if NTs get let in, they should follow a certain code of honesty, directness, and respect. And no discriminatory behaviour from ASD people toward the NTs should be allowed, either.


Yeah that's it.
Might want to install a sensory room or just make the entire place a huge sensory room. Lava lamps squishy balls and what not.


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AgentPalpatine
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17 Jun 2013, 7:00 pm

I'd also refer those discussing this concept to this classic (but very good) thread:

Spread AS awareness through an ASPERGER-THEMED RESTAURANT!!


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17 Jun 2013, 9:01 pm

jamieevren1210 wrote:
MathGirl wrote:
sunshower wrote:
I find it depressing but not particularly surprising that only about two people on this thread seemed uneasy about deliberately discluding "NT's" from entry to the bar. Set up "Aspie" rules & an "Aspie" friendly atmosphere by all means, but anyone should be allowed entry so long as they follow the rules & behave appropriately. Honestly, I get wrongfully accused left right and center of elitism when casual discrimination and ingroup/out-group thinking proliferates this site. Reading this kind of stuff just annoys me. It's possible to develop a positive autism community without engaging in elitist & discriminatory behaviour.
I think if NTs get let in, they should follow a certain code of honesty, directness, and respect. And no discriminatory behaviour from ASD people toward the NTs should be allowed, either.


Yeah that's it.
Might want to install a sensory room or just make the entire place a huge sensory room. Lava lamps squishy balls and what not.


If it had a sensory room I would probably go there. There's this place called Infinity which is basically like a sensory maze/mini sensory theme park, it's one of my favourite places in the world to go to, its a few hours south of me by train and bus. I go there regularly. I don't know if I'd go to an aspie friendly bar or not, if it was even slightly bar-like I probably wouldn't. Although I actually really enjoy doing things with friends, going to friends places, and even house parties, I always feel tense and stressed in public places, especially if they are crowded or noisy (I buy takeaway food quite often I rarely ever eat at a restaurant unless I have to). I hate bars and clubs, can't even go in most of them at night because the noise is unbearable. Even when I once went by myself to a more open air club for an early dinner at 5pm, and there was virtually no one there, and I sat by myself in with a meal and my book, a guy deliberately sat next to me and started hitting on me, so I had to bolt down my food and leave. Every time I go to a club or bar I get hit on. It's like if you go to one of these places you're automatically fair game no matter what signals you're sending out. Even if the bar was Aspie friendly it could still be crowded and I could still get hit on.


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17 Jun 2013, 9:53 pm

ManErg wrote:
In Australia it has been ruled that a gay bar has the legal right to ban heterosexuals:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-p ... 697469.stm

Surely this opens the door for Aspie only bars with NT's banned? Look at the justification: "the move would stop groups of heterosexual men and women abusing gay people" and especially: "Civil liberties groups said homosexuals should be allowed to relax in places without fear of bullying or intimidation. "

Those on the autistic spectrum also have the same right to be allowed to relax in places without those fears. God knows most of us have experienced enough "bullying and intimidation" trying to get by in the NT world.

So would any of you go to an AS only bar? Or would your evening be incomplete and unfulfilling without the presence of NT's?


Why not just have a private club? You'd have a key accessed private lodge for members only, like any fraternal organization has. Membership would be restricted to people with autism. Of course the lodge would cost a lot of money, so you'd have to charge membership dues, and get enough members.



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17 Jun 2013, 10:08 pm

We need an aspie bar!


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AgentPalpatine
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17 Jun 2013, 10:34 pm

^^^^^And I thought *I* was the one who talked so much about this sort of thing..... :D

I ever asked about it in the poll to mark my 1,000th post....

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt229379.html


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18 Jun 2013, 6:24 am

You would have big TV screens, like sports bars, but they would show reruns of Carl Sagan narrating "Cosmos".

The bouncer at the door would ask questions like "What was Captian Kirk's middle name?" before allowing admittance. But they would immediately wave in guys with pocket protectors, or any guy with a shirt half tucked in, and half tucked out.

Just thinking aloud here...trying to imagine this venue, and how it would work.



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18 Jun 2013, 6:39 am

I can't imagine how a gay only policy would be enforced in a bar other than asking and assuming everyone tells the truth.



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18 Jun 2013, 7:39 am

If I wanted to make a place for Aspies, a bar would be the last thing I'd think of.



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18 Jun 2013, 8:14 am

hanyo wrote:
I can't imagine how a gay only policy would be enforced in a bar other than asking and assuming everyone tells the truth.


I googled for how the gay bar plans to enforce this policy (not explained in the OP's linked article) and they said that asking is exactly what they intend to do. I suppose they are counting on enough hetero people being unwilling to say "I am gay" just to get in so that it effectively enforces it. People lie about things all the time but I suppose they are counting on social conditioning to make that an exception. Perhaps it doesn't matter if the person getting in was lying about it. They would have to maintain the facade in order to not get kicked out and that in itself would achieve the bar's goals. The stated goal of the bar owner was to prevent gay people from being a "zoo exhibit" which is how they felt with straight people gawking at them.

Would it play out similarly in an autistic only bar (if found to be legal, which would depend on the country)? It could. Lying to get in would be similarly easy but entirely pointless. Anybody who lied to get in so that they could harrass the patrons would be thrown out. But a BAP introvert with no diagnosis ( :wink: ) who simply wanted a quiet place to have a beer while reading a book would be as harmless in a autistic only bar as a bi-curious person exploring their sexual identity would be in a gay only bar.



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18 Jun 2013, 8:33 am

Have seen documentaries about the famous/notorious seventies' nightspot Studio 54 which was a unique combination of inclusive and exclusive. Everyone wanted into the place but they were very picky at the door about who got in. A bouncer explained that "I go for the right balance of everything- men/women, black/white, straight/gay."

The crowd itsself was vital to the scene and they went for a spicy combo of people.

A bouncer can see what your gender is and race is- and perhaps gays who went to New York discos in that day dressed flamboyantly- so maybe they could tell if you were gay at a distance instantly as well.

But as a rule- I dont see how you can tell if a stranger is gay or not. Nor if they are aspie or not- unless the person is a guy with one shirt tail tucked in, and the other not.



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18 Jun 2013, 9:28 am

Diagnosis cards, yo.

One thing though: people with AS can be just as loud and annoying as normal people (even more so, actually), so you'll need to break it down even further depending on what bothers people.



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18 Jun 2013, 10:28 am

I'd rather attend a club, where nobody knows anyone else there to begin with, and everyone's extremely shy and can't make friends because of it. And they all have a little pressure behind them where they are pushed into doing small tasks with each other where you have to communicate, like ''communication exercises''.
And I didn't say ''Aspies only''. I meant ''shy people only'', meaning some could have an ASD, some could have social anxieties, some could be unconfident and have PTSD which affected their social skills, the list goes on.

I know the word ''pressure'' might sound awfully cruel to some introverts, but I'm a perfect example of an introvert myself, and I can honestly say that I do need a little push behind me to get me a bit further in life. It's hard to push myself. It's like standing near a deep pool, and I'm too unconfident to get into the pool so I just stand there, but if somebody else pushed me in, there wouldn't be a lot I could do about it. And once I'm in the swimming-pool I may be ready to take the next step, which is learn to swim. Same goes with socialising.


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