for men only- BEWARE!

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By the way for those who dont see it my argument is not in being genetically made to look for the best person to produce offspring. Its that in a relationship you are now stuck with this person unless you are both ok with adding others in the mix. Secrets like this are not ok to have in any society and many excuses are tossed around like the devil made me do it or its in my genes. Its like a teenager saying he did drugs because of peer presure. BS you wanted to do drugs and found a good excuse to use them.

That would not be the responsible thing to do.

The child has a right to know who are its parents. The biological father has a right to know that he has a child, and no love is owed to a woman who herself did not love, who cheated on a man and then deceived him.

What? I'm not even going to pretend to know what that means, nor look it up. I assume you're negatively categorizing what I've said just so that you don't have to formulate a reply which explains why I'm wrong, probably because you can't, I guess.

Yes....and I think i've experienced way more than my far share of those things. I'd be the happiest camper in the universe if "never being anyone's sweetie" was my only problem.

Horatio Alger was an American novelist who wrote books about people who went from poverty to financial prosperity through hard work and enterprise; auntblabby is basically saying that your comment is based on naive idealism rather than empirical fact.

The tendency to say we're better off without women is a vital defence mechanism for people who are unable to relate to women on a romantic level; it's not something you can overcome through hard work.

Women are like cats. If they want you, they'll come to you without your having to make any effort; if they don't want you, no amount of effort on your part will make any difference.

I recently had some luck in this area and the woman in question just turned up on my doorstep and asked if I wanted to come round for a cup of tea. Prior to that, all my previous efforts to attract women just left me feeling angry and humiliated.

Hmmm.... very thought-provoking post!

Of course, admitting to involuntary celibacy would be a huge blow to the ego, so it makes sense that we'd rather see it as a choice.

For me, I think it really is both. I'm very conflicted about getting into a relationship. The desire is there, but only for a real hottie. Those are rare, and notoriously hard to get for the vast majority of guys, let alone a highly introverted guy with Asperger's, depression, etc.

But on the other hand, I've become more and more aware of all the downsides - STDs, some of which are incurable and fatal, and many of which don't manifest until they've already done much damage, are reason enough already. All it takes is one kiss, never mind any kind of sex, and you could have herpes (incurable). It's really rather scary once you start thinking about it clearly. I've got enough problems as it is, you know?

Then there's the unwanted pregnancy thing. And if you're a guy, it might not even be yours.

Then there's emotional risk - you could have your heart broken - and badly. This seems to happen at random. There's no predicting or avoiding it, unless you avoid falling for anyone in the first place (whether or not an actual relationship develops - infatuation can result in just as much pain!)

And there are other risks, however unlikely. You could be falsely accused of rape. You could be physically attacked by her other lover, or a jealous ex-boyfriend, or a crazed brother or father, or just some random, loser guy of the same race as her, if you're of a different race. Or maybe she goes crazy and physically attacks you. If you dare defend yourself, and make any kind of mark on her whatsoever, YOU are presumed guilty and go to jail. Now you're a bona fide criminal. Even crazier things can happen - she might attack your manhood with scissors in your sleep. And if you're gonna be murdered, it's likely that you'll be killed by your lover, or ex-lover.

And even if all goes well, and you avoid all of the above risks, and everything is wonderful, it's still only gonna last maybe 2 or 3 years tops, because that's how long romantic love lasts. After that, all you have is a "relationship that you have to work at". And who wants that? Isn't the whole point to have fun and feel GOOD? If relationships were all work and no fun from the beginning, nobody would enter them! Hell, even friendships don't last. Whoever said "Hell is other people" had it exactly right.

Reminding myself of all those risks helps keep me out of a relationship, or at least makes me feel better about not being in one.

I still dream of being rich enough to afford a clean, safe harem of my own, with all the girls checked carefully for every communicable disease known to man, and nicely compensated to be all mine for a year or two. (There'd be lots of turnover.)
But it may take awhile to get there.

In the meantime, true asexuality sounds rather appealing. But how do you "forget the urge"? Is that even possible? Anyone?

Do you seriously consider those viable reason to stop you from getting in a relationship? I ask because I wonder what else you worry about. I wouldn't leave the house personally!

I can't argue with you about most of what you said because - although you appear to have some issues with statistics - it's how you feel and who am I to judge. But regarding your certitude on the duration of romantic love; I know from personally experience that what you say is rubbish.

Suppose it depends on your definition of 'romantic love'. It's commonly held that when you first start a relationship you have euphoric feelings (biologically generated) and want to spend all your time with the other person, but that that effect does wear off. When it does you need other things to keep you with that person. In my case I really like my wife.

I understand about the euphoria/honeymoon period - whatever you want to call it, but I can honestly say that the euphoria has never been a reason for me to be in any of my relationships and it's dissipation changes nothing for me. I don't have to suddenly find new reasons to hang around. I've already worked out what I like about a person and that's the reason why I'm in the relationship in the first place. Those things don't change or disappear for me.

Actually thinking about it, I've seen NTs getting more bent out of shape about the whole honeymoon period ending. To me it's a natural part of a relationship. You should should still have plenty of things that you appreciate about someone after the 'butterflies in your tummy' disappear, even if those things seem weird and practical to some.

Er, guys.. the reason this made the newspapers was because it's a rarity. e.g. not an example of a typical women's behaviour.

I don't see why this thread is males only I'm not about to leap to this cow's defence (unless husband A was loaded (joke))

What? That men who constantly go on about "being better off without women" when they obviously want very much to be in a relationship are deluding themselves? That women are genetically programmed to be highly selective about their mating habits and crying about it makes no sense?

I don't see anything but practicality in those sentiments.



You can't "force" someone to love you, but you can improve your chances.

For example, spending all day and night playing videogames in your mom's basement probably isn't going to net you a mate. The majority of people (normal, socially well-adjusted people) I know find relationships through, at the very least, going out and engaging others. People who wait around for a magic woman to fall out of the sky and then get butthurt when she doesn't are setting themselves up for (well-deserved) mockery.

I've also noticed a trend here on WP of introverted males who only want "super hot women," so I imagine that's a rather large hurdle. Play video games in mom's basement all day and night + hotties only = WAAAHH!! !! !



My best friend got pregnant by a dude who was interested in just about anything else than paying child support or raising a kid. I still think seeking relationships with men is a worthwhile endeavor for women who want them.

People who mistake anecdotes for empirical evidence are dumbasses.

The comment is naive because it implies that Aspie men can better their chances with women simply by taking an active interest in dating/clubbing and working to improve their social skills. I spent most of my late teens/early twenties doing this and only succeeded in making an idiot of myself and being exploited by those who were more socially able.

A rarity? You really think that it's rare that chicks cheat on their man and tell him it's theirs? Maybe not to the extent that this girl did in that she fooled two men.

They can. They can also up their chances by improving their socialization skills in areas where they're less likely to be pwned.

If anyone is dumb enough to believe that potential mates will simply line up in front of the door while the contented hermit inside does nothing but sit on his/her ass 24/7 then they deserve to be alone.



And why do you feel your personal experience is definitive of everyone else's situation?



Maybe, maybe not. I'd be interested in credible evidence that demonstrates most women "cheat" and most men don't "cheat," however.

What does this word mean? I'm assuming it's an abbreviation of some kind.

It's a typo of "owned". At some point in gamer history, somebody hit the "p" instead of the "o" (as they are next to each other on the keyboard) and for reasons I can't quite fathom, other gamers latched onto the typo and it entered gamer and internet vernacular. I think it's both fascinating and silly.